Best Come Back Line Ever?

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
Had a quick scan and couldnt find this anywhere - been away for a few weeks as well so apologies if its 3 threads down from this or owt!!

This was apparently in the Washington Post. The title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.

"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"That was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he was just...... pumping away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? F*ck me, is it midnight already?"


:sex:
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
I don't want to be the pointy one here...but did the guy just say that he was humping a chariot until then? :eek7:
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
old.Tohtori said:
I don't want to be the pointy one here...but did the guy just say that he was humping a chariot until then? :eek7:

Maybe it was the horse that was pulling the chariot thingy?
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
rofl so this actually happened??? dear god is very very funny as a joke if it is real that guy deserves to be made a presidant or something because when they get caught with their pants down they never keep their cool.
 

Thadius

Part of the furniture
Joined
Sep 5, 2004
Messages
8,824
Ezteq said:
rofl so this actually happened??? dear god is very very funny as a joke if it is real that guy deserves to be made a presidant or something because when they get caught with their pants down they never keep their cool.

Its fake. Only you have a vegetable fetish!
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
I reckon it isn't fake...and its someone on FH tbh !!!

~strokes chin and wonders which one of you is teh pumpkin lover~
 

Thadius

Part of the furniture
Joined
Sep 5, 2004
Messages
8,824
evzy said:
I reckon it isn't fake...and its someone on FH tbh !!!

~strokes chin and wonders which one of you is teh pumpkin lover~

Ezteq!

Only someone who dances that wildy could do something that perverted! :sex: :sex:
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
pumpkin lover abroad eh?


*hangs leaves from ears*


*whistles*

yep, sure is dull being a pumpkin at this time of year, yep sure is....... oooh look a penny, i'll just BEND OVER and get it shall i...


*wiggles in pumpkinish way*
 

Thadius

Part of the furniture
Joined
Sep 5, 2004
Messages
8,824
Ezteq said:
pumpkin lover abroad eh?


*hangs leaves from ears*


*whistles*

yep, sure is dull being a pumpkin at this time of year, yep sure is....... oooh look a penny, i'll just BEND OVER and get it shall i...


*wiggles in pumpkinish way*

Want a dribbly candle inside you? xD
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
thinking more on the lines of a hot throbbing member tbh but if thats the best you got pumpkins cant be choosers
 

Thadius

Part of the furniture
Joined
Sep 5, 2004
Messages
8,824
Ezteq said:
thinking more on the lines of a hot throbbing member tbh but if thats the best you got pumpkins cant be choosers

Such filth!

At least I was creative! :(
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
Jesus...this place gets more depraved with each passing day!!!


~wonders what kind of state FH O-T will be in around 2017~

~goes off to stroke chin some more whilst pondering such topics~
 

Bahumat

FH is my second home
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
16,788
All getting a bit kinky in herem what would Percy Sugdon say?
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
Probably "mmmmpphhh mmmppphhh mmphhhhh"*



Assuming they buried him ...otherwise if he is dust now maybe "swoooosh"**



** more a sound effect of his ashes on the wind.
 

Bahumat

FH is my second home
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
16,788
Sharma said:
*uNF*


*uNF*

*spooge*

Percy says "Suck my nose"

Bill%20Waddington.jpg
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
Is Percy the new Mr T/Chuck/Orly Owl/Hasselhoff?

Although I see your Percy and raise you a Compo!
shamed_link_compo.jpg
 

Saveus

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
894
Ezteq said:
pumpkin lover abroad eh?


*hangs leaves from ears*


*whistles*

yep, sure is dull being a pumpkin at this time of year, yep sure is....... oooh look a penny, i'll just BEND OVER and get it shall i...


*wiggles in pumpkinish way*

i love ure wiggle it turns me on, pumptastic!
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom