being a teenager sucks

[Darksword]

it really fucking does, if i was an adult id definatly move.

So heres the situation, ill try and summarise it as i dont want to bore anyone.

So the problem is (as with anything in life) a girl. Known her and been good friends for well over a year now, and i really like her, and have done for a hell of a long time, but she doesnt feel the same about me, and ok i accept that. She knows how i feel, and i know 100% that nothing is going to happen, but still wish something could etc. We talk pretty much every day, walk through town etc, and the more i see her, the harder it all gets. So i told her, i think its better we stop talking and stuff, just because i really can't "handle" it anymore (not sure thats the right word but whatever), and she told me to stop being silly like wtf. so a couple of days past and she starts wondering if im being serious etc, asks me if everything is ok between us and i dont reply etc, then i see her on a night out, she was pretty drunk (i was drunk but not hammered, i only started drinking late that night) and she bursts into tears and just ended up hugging her etc, and she said how she wanted us to remain friends and how i was really important in her life and how she really cares for me, and all this just pretty much broke my heart. As any guy can tell you here, a crying girl is a really sad sight and all i wanted to do was make things better for her.

So im in a fucked up situation here; i really like her, so i want to get over her, stop talking to her etc etc, but i literally cant, she wont let me.

as some of u will recall, my friend commited suicide last year, a unbelievably sad situation for me, and also her, we both knew him and were good friends with him/each other etc and so she pretty much always turns to me when she is upset about it or anything. i told her when i said it was best we stop talking that if she ever needed to talk about him or anything important id be there for her, but in general i just needed to stop seeing her and communicating with her.

I really am stuck between a rock and a hard place here, and its driving me insane. Not sure why im even posting this <shrug> maybe writing it down helps or something. haha i feel so fucking emo. advice?

 

[Eeben]

isnt being friends with her better then nothing? tryet it my self an tbh would rather just be friends then never talk with her

 

[Darksword]

yeh thats how i felt, but it really is unbelievably hard, when u like someone so much etc. bleh. i fucking hate this.

 

[Samaroon|Terracotta]

Heh thats happened to me like 2-3 times in the past year or so by now Darksword, pretty sure you'll be able to move on soon

 

[Eeben]

damn those bloody girls why does it have to be so hard

 

[Ezteq]

well you have a choice you can do whats best for yu and tbh i think youll both be miserable for a while.
or you can do whats best for her which is probably great for her but its going to make you miserable in the long term unless you learn to cope with it.

tbh she's being a bit selfish here if you look at what you said

So i told her, i think its better we stop talking and stuff, just because i really can't "handle" it anymore (not sure thats the right word but whatever), and she told me to stop being silly like wtf. so a couple of days past and she starts wondering if im being serious etc, asks me if everything is ok between us and i dont reply etc, then i see her on a night out, she was pretty drunk (i was drunk but not hammered, i only started drinking late that night) and she bursts into tears and just ended up hugging her etc, and she said how she wanted us to remain friends

you've told her its hurting you, and she says "stop being silly"... how would she feel if you said it to her when she came crying to you?

its all very well crying and stuff but blokes have feelings too and why do people think they should come first? tbh if its making like crap for you just dont let her near until you can cope better, think of you because by the looks of it she's certainly thinking of herself.

 

[Darksword]

Heh thats happened to me like 2-3 times in the past year or so by now Darksword, pretty sure you'll be able to move on soon

haha, yeh, thought i would have aswell, but i actually cant, and she wont let me. i cant tell her i dont want to talk to her, again, coz the way she was on sunday etc i felt like such a dickhead and i told her i'll never do anything like that again to her, and even if i hadnt said that, i still wouldnt want to do anything that i knew would hurt her anyway.

and haha eeben, true. bleh.

 

[Darksword]

yeh, i kind of agree ez, but i told her that i think itll just be easier and i dont think she took me seriously at first, then it all blew up.

I really can't keep her away, both because a huge part of me doesnt want to, and because if i dont tell her, she will just end up talking to me etc and i cant just walk off etc. i dunno, i wish things were simple.

thanks for the advice tho.

 

[Raven]

thats life mate, does this to you, hardest thing in the world would be to say goodbye, and your only fooling yourself thinking you could do it. chest out, smile on, go along as normal, one day you will be over it and very glad you didnt stop seeing her.

 

[Samaroon|Terracotta]

haha, yeh, thought i would have aswell, but i actually cant, and she wont let me. i cant tell her i dont want to talk to her, again, coz the way she was on sunday etc i felt like such a dickhead and i told her i'll never do anything like that again to her, and even if i hadnt said that, i still wouldnt want to do anything that i knew would hurt her anyway.

and haha eeben, true. bleh.

I thought exactly the same mate, but i tried going out with other lass mates etc, and girlehs i didn't know too well a while ago. Now im in a relationship of 4~ months pretty much because i was able to .

Anyway im 99% sure you'll be able to move on, if you want to forget about her that much just pick on the annoying/horrible little things she does and you might end up going off her

 

[Inconspicious]

get over what ever n try and have sex it might have sex. when i was young i was like u ever mind ur will learn that women are evil

 

[Raven]

get over what ever n try and have sex it might have sex. when i was young i was like u ever mind ur will learn that women are evil

what


the



fuck?


it might have sex? it? and do you wonder why you dont have much luck?

 

[Ezteq]

god i remember being a teenager and having the deepest most painful crushes ever, they were horrible because i didnt have a clue how to express my feelings towards boy other than going up to them and going "alright you old fucker wanna play bull dog at break?" or "oi budda coming for a fag?" and i literally was one of the boys, and you try telling your mates you want to snog them.

im glad im out of it now tbh, wouldnt want that feeling back.

 

[Eeben]

go get pissed an hit on alot of girls normaly works for me when im depresed because i cant get that girl i want ( carmen electra )

 

[Melachi]

First off mate your teenage years are golden, trust me, I'm only 20, and I didnt realise how good 14+ years were, 20's are great still so far, anyway..

Ok, the friends thing, right listen what you have here is a bad case of "onegirlitis", she aint all that, you just think she is at the moment. What you need is to go out on the prowl and find some really hot girl and quickly you won't give a damn if this friend of yours was your sister or a nun. Trust me, stay friends with her, but don't ever consider trying to start something with her, keep her as a friend, and thats it. As soon as you become a girls friend, she is not attracted to you anymore, unless you make massive changes to how you act, and that still doesn't guarantee you will get her, and secondly why the hell would you change for this one girl?

Second, this aint life, this doesnt have to happen anymore, you can change it. I keep girls who I might like to score one day in one category and girls I don't ever want to be with in another. The girls I dont want to ever be with become my friends, the others become those distant type friends, you might even see them every weekend but you only actually talk to them for 15mins, and for those 15mins all you do is have a laugh, nothing serious, just take the piss out of them for 15mins or something, never connect, because then your doomed.

You see, you don't yet realise how lucky you are too be a guy. What we find in girls attractive, is 90% physical, which is changeable but dificult. What girls find attractive in guys is 90% attitude, and thats easily learnt.

 

[Ezteq]

personally i like an arse you can bounce a coin off tbh.


have to agree though teenage years are something to be enjoyed, dont be getting bogged down and serious fgs or youll wake up in years to come and realise you waisted the best years of your life.

i love my bf, i really do he's brilliant but im glad i didnt meet him when i was a teen because those were my wild oat sowing days and i was on a mission and if i'd got in a relationship and not done that i'd be bitter as hell right now tbh.

 

[Melachi]

personally i like an arse you can bounce a coin off tbh.


have to agree though teenage years are something to be enjoyed, dont be getting bogged down and serious fgs or youll wake up in years to come and realise you waisted the best years of your life.

i love my bf, i really do he's brilliant but im glad i didnt meet him when i was a teen because those were my wild oat sowing days and i was on a mission and if i'd got in a relationship and not done that i'd be bitter as hell right now tbh.

Ezteq part of that is Biblical. Don't take your teenage years too serious.

The arse thing too, is important but they edited it out of the bible, but even at that it's not important to the stage where if even if I had no arse I could walk into a room and have you drooling

 

[Ezteq]

they added an appendix at the end of Matthew chapter 14 verse 122 :


and lo if thou hastest an arse that is unappealing thou shalt remember these words of our lord "Walk always with thyne shirt untucked and keep thouest back to thyne wall" and thou shalt overcome, the lord is mercy amen.

 

[ilaya]

eddie izzard says about teenage years:

ooh girls.. hello.. i like them, gonna get me some. then god plays a cruel trick on you. soon as u discover girls, at that 1 point u wanna look your best.. puberty kicks in and makes u look the worst u ever been!

thats general teenage stuff really, all been there

as for being friends with her.. gotta look to Chris Rock:

women keep platonic friends forever... u know what a platonic friend is to a woman? a dick in a glass case. if u fuck up.. in case of emergency, break glass.


we've all been there dude.. stay friends tho, seems a waste of a friendship.. time will heal and bring along some1 hotter.. trust me

 

[DocWolfe]

you can't run away from your problems you've got to face them head on or you'll never get anywhere. I dont want to offend you or anything but killing yourself/moving is the cowards way out, I've had shitty times in my life, but everytime I know it will get better a couple of months/years down the line.

When I was 16/17 I had a major crush with this girl and we were friends and such always flirting, but I could never pluck up the courage to do it, I felt shitty with myself for it. Eventually I left school never thought I'd see her again, until I got back from uni in the summer holidays a year later, I met her on a night out; we had a great time etc. ended up going out with her for a bit. But it didn't work out, fucking stunner she was too! oh how cruel life is!

Basically what I'm saying is, there are lots of fish in the sea go get a net! Relationships and "encounters" with women started coming thick and fast when I went to university

 

[Fana]

A man and a woman cant be good friends if one of them is reasonably attractive and they are both single. Thats just the way it is. One of them will fall for the other one sooner or later and when that happens it will be impossible to have a friendship. And why would you want to anyway? Why torture yourself? Ive been there myself, wasnt fun at all.

Its good to have friends of the oppsite sex but its best to use "safe" friends in that case, like your brothers wife, your best friends girlfriend, a cousin etc, anyone that you just could not hook up with. Or keep the friendship casual, do not let it develop into a deep friendship (unless you want it to become a romantic relationship ofc - just be aware that you will sacrifice your friendship one way or the other).

 

[Mikah75]

this is the exactly same situation as my best friend
he's in love with one of our friends (well no longer mine) and follows her like a little dog..best thing to do tbh to get over someone, is to completely exclude them from everything in your life
theres no way to just get over them if you feel like that, and have done for a long time
i know its tough, but its the only way to stop thinking about them and to get on with your life
unfortunately he gave up on this idea after she appeared crying on his doorstep one day, so thankfully she's going to america for uni and should sort things

 

[Ezteq]

guys here is a very important lesson:


girls cry!

sometimes they do it because theyre genuinely upset but a lot of the time its
A) to get sympathy
B) to get their own way
C) because they think it makes them look hot like sinead o'connor in that music video..


anyhoo not to put my sex down or anything but its a secret i think is best shared with the males to clear stuff up, if a girl turns up on your doorstep crying for no good reason (and by this i mean her family has just been blown up because the bus driver went under 50 mph or something of similar gravity) fetch her some tissue and tell her to go home and eat some cake

(wtf is it today i got something about cake??)

because you'll only end up getting dragged in and played like a tambourine in an airport. I know this because i had friends when i was a teen who used to do it and then brag about it to their gf's (and i've done it a couple of times when faced with imprisonment, the sack, eviction, deportation etc).

just dont let yourselves get manupilated guys (this goes for girls also) people will try all kinds of shit to get their own way and emotional blackmail is one of the top weapons.

 

[Mikah75]

once they know you will do anything for them... some pick up on it, sub-consciously, and manipulate/take advantage so you goto be careful and make sure it doesn't get that far..
Mel used to be a quiet friend, but now my best mate is just used to unload emotional baggage on, cheer her up, entertain her, and to take her out.

 

[Marc]

I think most people have been through something similar mate. Its a cliche but time is a great healer. Just try and get on with life as normal and I guarantee you, you will get over it

 

[Darksword]

haha docwolfe; i'd never commit suicide, for 1 thing already seen how it effects others, and for another im young, i want to live life. And yeh, i try not to take things seriously, im always pretty relaxed and i know that tomorrow is another day etc. Heck, ment to be meeting up with this girl tonight if i can make it.

I agree, i want to keep her as a friend, we have always been good friends and she does mean alot to me. But, i want to get over her, and staying friends just isnt helping at all, its making it all so much harder.

I know this is a stereotypical situation for every guy, its like a right of passage, you gotta go through it, but theres literally nothing i can do about it, as pathetic as it sounds, i cant just cut her out, i've tried, more than once, and it wasnt working so i told her i dont wnat to talk etc.

and yeh ez, she does have an unbelievably amazing arse, and she's too darn cute. Meh, gunna try keep contact at a minimal today, but its kinda hard when she comes and hangs around next to me even tho she doesnt like/talk to most of my other friends and starts up a conversation. Im the type of person that can joke about anything (trust me) and we just get on too well i suppose.

 

[Lamp]

ROFL

Diary of Adrian Mole - a DAOC gamer - age 16

Dear Diedre

LOL

http://www.samaritans.org.uk

 

[Darksword]

ROFL

Diary of Adrian Mole - a DAOC gamer - age 16

Dear Diedre

LOL

http://www.samaritans.org.uk

huh?

 

[Marc]

ROFL

Diary of Adrian Mole - a DAOC gamer - age 16

Dear Diedre

LOL

http://www.samaritans.org.uk

whats the point?

 

[eggy]

ROFL

Diary of Adrian Mole - a DAOC gamer - age 16

Dear Diedre

LOL

http://www.samaritans.org.uk

That's pretty immature and insensitive in my opinion.

Everyone goes through the girl-related difficulties. At younger ages, the first girl you have a connection with seems like "the one", until you realise that getting over girls gets easier every time. There's no 'logical' reason to get hung up over a girl at that age; but logic isn't the driver here. Hormones and lack of experience are a few of the real issues.

It's hardly fair to laugh at someone who's having a hard time, evern if it seems silly to you.