bad to worse

[TdC]

dude, imo you still need time to decide what you want. at least you know why you didn't want kids (huge leap forward tbh), now you need to decide what you want.

imo B2 (and you) should chill. these things aren't decided and clarity isn't gained all in a second. these things take time and you both are freaking out and perhaps inadvertently making a mountain out of a molehill.

also, you don't write crap Ez. don't take yourself down (that's what we are for eh )

 

[Ezteq]

well he dumped me.

after 8.5 years am now alone....again.

he is sure, he doesn't feel te same way about me, he loves me but not in the same way...i guess you could say its like when the girl says 'youre like a brother to me' I am that brother. Am scarily calm, it still hasn't hit me properly yet I don't think.

man this stinks.

 

[cHodAX]

Ahh fuck, Ez I am so sorry to hear that. Don't know what else to say at the moment, I feel heartsick for you.

 

[Edmond]

Oh sweetheart i'm so, so sorry, you dont deserve this. I would come round and give you a big hug if i could

Dont know what else to say, cos anything i do will not help

Thinking of you Xxx

 

[Cerb]

Im sorry

 

[Amanita]

Oh Ez, I am so sorry

*hugs*

 

[Bahumat]

well he dumped me.

after 8.5 years am now alone....again.

he is sure, he doesn't feel te same way about me, he loves me but not in the same way...i guess you could say its like when the girl says 'youre like a brother to me' I am that brother. Am scarily calm, it still hasn't hit me properly yet I don't think.

man this stinks.

Ez I'm really sorry to hear this The only advice I can give is to try and see your friends as much as possible and not close yourself off from the world. They'll help 'dull' the pain just by being there for you.

<big hug>

 

[Corran]

well he dumped me.

after 8.5 years am now alone....again.

he is sure, he doesn't feel te same way about me, he loves me but not in the same way...i guess you could say its like when the girl says 'youre like a brother to me' I am that brother. Am scarily calm, it still hasn't hit me properly yet I don't think.

man this stinks.

Sorry to hear that Ezteq.

Be a hard time for you, especially since you found that the initial cause of hte problem stemmed from a point of view that was drummed into you and not one you really chose yourself.

8.5years is a long time, especially when you look at it as a % of your life. Remember that it has been a very good period of your life and much happiness was within there, and dont linger on the ending.

Go out with your friends, they should help you get through this. Dont lock yourself away.

At the end of all this you now know yourself better, and with that you will hopefully find yourself happiness again... you are better of as you are now then in a relationship where the other person just feels that due to the time together there is no way out, this could just be the reason he was looking for. So dont blame yourself

 

[russell]

Aw babes. This is horrific.
Me and Ed are in Bournemouth on the 7th if you want to meet for coffee and hugs- then again you may not want company.
So sorry sweetheart.
You need time to wallow and then chin up and on we go...

 

[Ch3tan]

Ez don't focus on the child thing, it sounds to me like b2 was unhappy with other things and was looking for a way out and picked the one thing he didn't expect you to change your mind about. People just drift apart sometimes, there doesn't have to be a particular reason.

 

[russell]

...fraid it does sound as though he was looking for a kind 'out' option, another way of saying I dont want to be with you anymore. Unfortunately there isn't ever a kind way to do that.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well it's already said, two posters above and after readin all of it; seems like a way out.

Changed to "But i don't fel the same way" after the child thing ddn't bite.

Anyway, single life ain't bad and a new guy is probabky right around the corner.

If yu don't feel like crying etc, the usual break uo stuff in a few, then you'll know it's the right thing anyway.

But i digress, probably won't read this, best internet wishes and as the saying goes; "Screw the bastard, have a "

 

[Shagrat]

Really sorry to here Ez

Don't blame yourself. Sometimes people just drift apart, as hard as that is to understand right now.

 

[Bahumat]

Well it's already said, two posters above and after readin all of it; seems like a way out.

Changed to "But i don't fel the same way" after the child thing ddn't bite.

Anyway, single life ain't bad and a new guy is probabky right around the corner.

If yu don't feel like crying etc, the usual break uo stuff in a few, then you'll know it's the right thing anyway.

But i digress, probably won't read this, best internet wishes and as the saying goes; "Screw the bastard, have a "

Ez I know you and Tohtori don't always see eye to eye, but I thought it was sweet of him to write this so I've quoted it.

 

[Lakih]

Sorry to hear that Ez.
You are a wonderful person in many many ways, you will be alright.

*hugs*

 

[TdC]

I'm not sorry for you Ez. If he's going to act on this in this manner he doesn't deserve you. You're a great girl, and imo it's his loss. Sorry if I read harsh, I don't react well to people I like getting hurt.

It's a long emotional investment Ez. You'll feel worse before you'll feel better, but you WILL feel better.

 

[Lamp]

Sorry to hear that Ez.
/hug

 

[pikeh]

Sorry to hear that Ez

 

[Olgaline]

I'm Sorry to hear That Ez,
8.5 years is a very long time indeed....

 

[Hawkwind]

Chin up EZ, it hurts but that will decrease with time. Keep busy, go see some friends and family. Just don't dwell on what might have been.

/big hug

 

[russell]

Its just shit when this happens, for all of the people involved. It sounds like B2 still loves you Ez and was trying not to hurt you. But of course no matter what he does it will hurt like hell.

I guess you may be at that stage now where you mentally go back the last few months and see big glaring indicators that things were not right and kick yourself for not seeing it.

When love goes, it just goes -sometimes over night. It cant be helped it is no ones 'fault' and a thread that turns into a B2 bashing zone is not productive (unless it makes you feel better Ez- then thats different)

8.5 years is the killer and that is where the work will come to adjust your life in every way from now on, but you will get there and it will be hard for him to.

My only advice Ez is that all that you are going through is like grieving, there is a cycle/ pattern / stages to go through and when you get to the bit where he wants you back -you meet up a couple of times and sexor may occur -DONT DO IT. DONT go back there -otherwise you will have to go through this all over again.

The relationship broke down for a reason - you maybe in shock atm but you will see the real reasons shortly. The million dollar question is what will you do next babes???

much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Ezteq]

Hay all,
firsty thank you all for your messages and thoughts. It's pretty flipping tragic but this is a tragic break up not a hideous one, we do still love eachother (sadly I love him in the omg I flipping love you way and he loves me in the we spent nearly 9 years toegther and I reall care about you way)) we are best friends and that's why it is so tragic, there are people out there in marriages who dont even like eachother, we like eachother and love eachother just not enough.

We are going to look for new homes each, I am really not ready to be alone now and we are staying together lots of hugs and crying and comforting I am not ready to let go, dont know if i really will be but i sure am not ready just yet, we'll find new homes and move out and move on and its really going to stink and i'll be so lonely but theres nothing to be done about it so just keep on posting funny stuff and even if I dont respond i'll be lurking and looking at it.

Have a lot to do in the next few days, was really looking forward to house hunting...just didnt think it would be this kind of hosue hunting heh anyway as I said i'll have a lot to get on with, be quite sad and maybe not feel like coming to chat but i'll probably look in, you guys are my friends and i appreciate your messages so much, thank you all
take care
/hugs
Ez
xxxx

 

[Thorwyn]

I`m in a similar situation with my last gf. We split up after 8 years because we both realised that it wouldn´t work out. Since that day, we´re almost like kindred souls, knowing and caring for each other so well. I don´t say it´s always the case, but once you´re over the shock and the pain, chances are that something very precious will be growing between you two.
Now it´s time to get a new home as quickly as possible. Seeing him every day doesn´t really help you.

 

[Lethul]

Sorry to hear that Ez

 

[tierk]

Hey, i am sorry to hear about the break up of your relationship and i have to say when you first posted his reason for wanting to break up with you i was kind of thinking that he was using it as an excuse but felt that it might not be the best place or time to say it.

After reading all the posts and threads you have started on here over a long period of time, i think a lot of us have gotten to know you quite well (as well as you can from a internet forum that is visited by the retards that are OT). Your lovely (well as far as i can tell and apart from the red hair and your love of guinea pigs and the fact that.....)

Anyway having said all that and at the risk of sounding like a totally insensitive bast**d....

This is great news for all the rest of us red blooded males!!!

She is finally free and the rest of us have a chance!!!

Horraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!


As for the Bum shots!! ok ok enough said about those me thinks but yea well errrr hum i forgot what i was going to say

Aaaah yes i remember now......i can tell you i am 100% sure that there is a long queue of people - myself included - of guys more than happy to fill that space in your heart so don't get too depressed and down about the end and try to picture a new beginning

 

[Zenith.UK]

<snip>

Anyway having said all that and at the risk of sounding like a totally insensitive bast**d....

This is great news for all the rest of us red blooded males!!!

She is finally free and the rest of us have a chance!!!

Horraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

Curse you to hell and back for writing what I was thinking!
Always try to see the positive in the negative.

(Not for myself you understand, Mrs.Zenith is not the sharing type).

 

[Jarahl]

Sorry to hear Ez

If it makes you feel better, things are going really bad between myself and the missus too, and I don't see things ending good tbh.

I can't offer any advice that hasn't already been said, so chin up

 

[Ezteq]

As always guys you are amazing, you console and cheer me up when I think it is impossible. For any and everyone going through this kind of thing or who is hurting right now I am so sorry if this thread has rubbed open old wounds, I didn't realise when I made it how it could make other people sad because of their own situations, as I have had your support you all have mine.

As a very lovely friend here said to me receintly 'when you are going through hell, keep going.' this thought has really struck a cord with me and I'm buggered if I'm hanging about in this dark, miserable place for any longer than I have to (and I don't just mean my flat).

 

[Edmond]

Yay...go team Ez !!!!!

 

[Raven]

That's a real shame EZ, never really know what to say in these sorts of situations. I just hope you can get yourself sorted, and B2 ofc!