M
Murcalumis
Guest
- Thread starter
- #31
How did you guess? Hey! Only 3 now!
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #32
I didn't guess... I knew it all along..
F
Fightersuntzu
Guest
- Thread starter
- #33
If a tree falls, and no one is around to hear it, does it kill a cow?
Should people who live in grass houses stow thrones?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could be bothered to chuck wood?
Fried Chicken?
Do hamsters dance?
Why is hibernia so freaking green?
Can you dump a bucket of cold water on Teador for me?
A train leaves Dallas travelling at 500 miles per hour heading west. At the same time, a train leaves Moscow heading in a slightly corkscrew manner upward .....
oh look, ive gone crosseyed...
Should people who live in grass houses stow thrones?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could be bothered to chuck wood?
Fried Chicken?
Do hamsters dance?
Why is hibernia so freaking green?
Can you dump a bucket of cold water on Teador for me?
A train leaves Dallas travelling at 500 miles per hour heading west. At the same time, a train leaves Moscow heading in a slightly corkscrew manner upward .....
oh look, ive gone crosseyed...
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #34
Originally posted by Fightersuntzu
If a tree falls, and no one is around to hear it, does it kill a cow?
Should people who live in grass houses stow thrones?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could be bothered to chuck wood?
Fried Chicken?
Do hamsters dance?
Why is hibernia so freaking green?
Can you dump a bucket of cold water on Teador for me?
A train leaves Dallas travelling at 500 miles per hour heading west. At the same time, a train leaves Moscow heading in a slightly corkscrew manner upward .....
oh look, ive gone crosseyed...
If the cow is dead afterwards as a direct result of the tree falling then of course!
Thrones are always nice to sit on but really you'll only need enough for yourselves and any visitors, no need to stow too many away.
As much as it would take for him to get bored and not bother throwing any more.
No thanks I've eaten.
Only when you're not looking or pointing cameras at them.
That'll be the grass, although we do have blue skies and clear waters and a few grey bits where rocks are.
Buckets of cold water are in patch 1.63 so you'll have to wait a while. But sure...
That's not a question.
I hope you find these facts useful young albino stalwart
L
Luuna
Guest
- Thread starter
- #35
Surely if you built your house from grass and there were a few stones stuck in the turf you'd pick them out and fling them also. Wouldn't mind sticking a little in my pipe though.
But I'm thinking you meant glass?
A
andrilyn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #36
Ok Cornell since you have the time you might be able to answer these few questions for me:
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
How can you tell when your out of invisible ink?
Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote?
Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're nerver in darkness?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Who invented accents?
Who named everything?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop?
Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do bars advertise live bands?
What does a dead band sound like?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do guys wear underpants?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
Why do they call it disposable douche?
Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins?
How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot... and something cold, cold?
What is the speed of dark?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings,
Why don't they wear a pair of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
What's another word for synonym?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas station when smoking is prohibited there?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
If an orange is orange, whey isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? - or maybe I'll just have a big bunch of purples.
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Goodluck!
[edit]Damn you can only post 10000 letters in a post ffs had atleast twice as long post [/edit]
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
How can you tell when your out of invisible ink?
Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote?
Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're nerver in darkness?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Who invented accents?
Who named everything?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop?
Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do bars advertise live bands?
What does a dead band sound like?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do guys wear underpants?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
Why do they call it disposable douche?
Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins?
How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot... and something cold, cold?
What is the speed of dark?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings,
Why don't they wear a pair of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
What's another word for synonym?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas station when smoking is prohibited there?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
If an orange is orange, whey isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? - or maybe I'll just have a big bunch of purples.
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Goodluck!
[edit]Damn you can only post 10000 letters in a post ffs had atleast twice as long post
[/edit]
F
Fightersuntzu
Guest
- Thread starter
- #37
Originally posted by Luuna
Surely if you built your house from grass and there were a few stones stuck in the turf you'd pick them out and fling them also. Wouldn't mind sticking a little in my pipe though.
But I'm thinking you meant glass?
Nope, i meant grass. And stow thrones.
L
Luuna
Guest
- Thread starter
- #38
Funny how after you making a whopper of a misread and reply you always notice your error when it's too late.
P
pudzy
Guest
- Thread starter
- #39
What if you cant find something to make you happy?
A
andrilyn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #40
Then you die since then there is no meaning of life anymore....
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #41
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
How can you tell when your out of invisible ink?
Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote?
Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
No
One should always strive to go forward, never back
Generally no
Not yet, but I'm working on it
Only if you don't want anyone to hear
Nope, just stupid looks or possibly punched on the nose
You've been ripped off, no such thing as invisible ink
It makes the cassette come out of the VCR, try it sometime
Not if you are very close to the VCR, or get someone else to do it for you
Depends on the counsilor
Treat them as equals!
There was no Adam and Eve... well there have been obviously but probably not the Adam and Eve you were talking about.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
How can you tell when your out of invisible ink?
Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote?
Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
No
One should always strive to go forward, never back
Generally no
Not yet, but I'm working on it
Only if you don't want anyone to hear
Nope, just stupid looks or possibly punched on the nose
You've been ripped off, no such thing as invisible ink
It makes the cassette come out of the VCR, try it sometime
Not if you are very close to the VCR, or get someone else to do it for you
Depends on the counsilor
Treat them as equals!
There was no Adam and Eve... well there have been obviously but probably not the Adam and Eve you were talking about.
A
andrilyn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #42
Cornell... well nevermind...
F
Fightersuntzu
Guest
- Thread starter
- #43
Spam spam spam spam.......
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #44
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Yes
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
I don't do things like that
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
I don't have a dog
Do fish get cramps after eating?
No they just shit in the water
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Yes, it was fun to be a kid
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
It's all employees legal right to take breaks
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
If they feel like it
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Typically, people in Rome use the more common set of numbers the rest of the world do so... no
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
No, people do not simply just 'vanish' ever
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
You do the maths
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Nope
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
It's possible
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot
and quite a few are alike?
It's just one of those things, I didn't invent the bloody language y'know
How can someone "draw a blank"?
All manner of ways, often with pencil or pen, crayons or chalk.. depends on the artists favourite form of media
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Cold as hell? never heard that one, tell the person using it to stop being silly
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If bullets were a bit slower he'd probably duck to avoid them also, most people you'll find attempt to avoid things thrown at them but generally get hit by a gun pointed at them
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
I don't, that's a false accusation
Yes
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
I don't do things like that
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
I don't have a dog
Do fish get cramps after eating?
No they just shit in the water
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Yes, it was fun to be a kid
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
It's all employees legal right to take breaks
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
If they feel like it
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Typically, people in Rome use the more common set of numbers the rest of the world do so... no
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
No, people do not simply just 'vanish' ever
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
You do the maths
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Nope
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
It's possible
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot
and quite a few are alike?
It's just one of those things, I didn't invent the bloody language y'know
How can someone "draw a blank"?
All manner of ways, often with pencil or pen, crayons or chalk.. depends on the artists favourite form of media
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Cold as hell? never heard that one, tell the person using it to stop being silly
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If bullets were a bit slower he'd probably duck to avoid them also, most people you'll find attempt to avoid things thrown at them but generally get hit by a gun pointed at them
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
I don't, that's a false accusation
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #45
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
They are well trained deers
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
It smells funny and goes mouldy
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
How many times do you want to ask me about f*ckin invisible ink?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
He puts stuff in it
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Walking, driving, biking, public transport or even running are common ways of getting to work
How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're
nerver in darkness?
Just turn your lights on, works for me
How is it possible to have a civil war?
No, there's nothing civil about war
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
No they just beat them with sticks and things, the neighbours aren't going to hear the cries
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
No they just beat them with sticks and things, the neighbours aren't going to hear the cries (hmmmm?)
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
No that would be silly
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
It just has no protection against predators so neither
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
Nope sorry, he 's a traffic warden
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
On seats mostly, also stools, benches, bean bags and the floor are alternatives
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
The numbers are drawn from a machine... how would a psychic know what is going to happen?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Orange the colour is named after the fruit, not the other way (ahem)
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Unlikely, it would probably be one company buying the other out and consuming the other with no name change
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Possibly.. and they'd most likely be pissed off people he'd be seeing
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If he is sued he'd probably have no wages left for a while
How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
Three
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Not a lot
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Smurfs aren't real
They are well trained deers
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
It smells funny and goes mouldy
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
How many times do you want to ask me about f*ckin invisible ink?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
He puts stuff in it
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Walking, driving, biking, public transport or even running are common ways of getting to work
How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're
nerver in darkness?
Just turn your lights on, works for me
How is it possible to have a civil war?
No, there's nothing civil about war
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
No they just beat them with sticks and things, the neighbours aren't going to hear the cries
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
No they just beat them with sticks and things, the neighbours aren't going to hear the cries (hmmmm?)
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
No that would be silly
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
It just has no protection against predators so neither
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
Nope sorry, he 's a traffic warden
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
On seats mostly, also stools, benches, bean bags and the floor are alternatives
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
The numbers are drawn from a machine... how would a psychic know what is going to happen?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Orange the colour is named after the fruit, not the other way (ahem)
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Unlikely, it would probably be one company buying the other out and consuming the other with no name change
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Possibly.. and they'd most likely be pissed off people he'd be seeing
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If he is sued he'd probably have no wages left for a while
How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
Three
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Not a lot
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Smurfs aren't real
A
andrilyn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #46
You EVUL man...
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #47
When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
You don't need to pack it, you've been wasting time there
Who invented accents?
ALL THOSE BLOODY FOREIGNERS!!!1
Who named everything?
Mr Everything
Why do airlines call flights nonstop?
It's a false claim and any airlines using such terms can be sued
Won't they all stop eventually?
Yes
Why do bars advertise live bands?
So people come in and see them
What does a dead band sound like?
Generally the band would split up if they all died so thus wouldn't be a band anymore
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Fat chance is just an amusing mockery of the term slim chance invented by fat people
Why do guys wear underpants?
To stop embarrasing urine stains on their trousers after a visit to the toilet. Why do women wear underwear?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
Caffiene is added to the coffee to make people come back to it, similar to Coca Cola originally having Cocaine in it but it got removed as it was illegal, caffiene is a legal but addictive drug.
Why do they call it disposable douche?
They call disposable douches diposable douches because they are diposable douches
Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
Rinse and re-usable douches. Not very common
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Stuck togetherments didn't catch on, and people liked the thought that they had their own personal space
Why do they report power outages on TV?
In case you have friends or family in that area
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why shouldn't they?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
They also pull things however when they stop, the things they were pulling tend to bash into them
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
We drive on roads and park in car parks here
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Usually things that heat stuff get hot
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Just for something to do really, it's no biggie
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Nah you put suits in those special things that suits go in that don't have a proper name, and NO-ONE ever uses the word garment now... c'mon
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
We don't
Why do we wash bath towels?
A damp towel just left hanging and waiting for another use would get all mildewy and smelly and ewww, wash em
Aren't we clean when we use them?
Depends...
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
It's just a form of identification, it doesn't need to be a drivers license
Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
It doesn't, it means TO CHOP UP SOMEONE!!!!1
You don't need to pack it, you've been wasting time there
Who invented accents?
ALL THOSE BLOODY FOREIGNERS!!!1
Who named everything?
Mr Everything
Why do airlines call flights nonstop?
It's a false claim and any airlines using such terms can be sued
Won't they all stop eventually?
Yes
Why do bars advertise live bands?
So people come in and see them
What does a dead band sound like?
Generally the band would split up if they all died so thus wouldn't be a band anymore
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Fat chance is just an amusing mockery of the term slim chance invented by fat people
Why do guys wear underpants?
To stop embarrasing urine stains on their trousers after a visit to the toilet. Why do women wear underwear?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
Caffiene is added to the coffee to make people come back to it, similar to Coca Cola originally having Cocaine in it but it got removed as it was illegal, caffiene is a legal but addictive drug.
Why do they call it disposable douche?
They call disposable douches diposable douches because they are diposable douches
Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
Rinse and re-usable douches. Not very common
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Stuck togetherments didn't catch on, and people liked the thought that they had their own personal space
Why do they report power outages on TV?
In case you have friends or family in that area
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why shouldn't they?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
They also pull things however when they stop, the things they were pulling tend to bash into them
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
We drive on roads and park in car parks here
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Usually things that heat stuff get hot
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Just for something to do really, it's no biggie
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Nah you put suits in those special things that suits go in that don't have a proper name, and NO-ONE ever uses the word garment now... c'mon
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
We don't
Why do we wash bath towels?
A damp towel just left hanging and waiting for another use would get all mildewy and smelly and ewww, wash em
Aren't we clean when we use them?
Depends...
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
It's just a form of identification, it doesn't need to be a drivers license
Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
It doesn't, it means TO CHOP UP SOMEONE!!!!1
O
old.Kram
Guest
- Thread starter
- #48
I got a question!
When will the universe end, and btw, if you dont answer correctly, I'll sue your ass!
When will the universe end, and btw, if you dont answer correctly, I'll sue your ass!
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #49
How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins?
They ask their parents or just check birth certificates
How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot... and something cold, cold?
I'm sorry that's classified
What is the speed of dark?
The same as the speed of light, just a bit dimmer
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
For blind people, sheesh
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, Why don't they wear a pair of bras?
2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 chest.... what? am I missing something here?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
Maybe you should pay more attention to them, but it's just not as much fun as disgruntled people
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
Whatever floats your boat
What's another word for synonym?
What's wrong with synonym how it is?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
The length of words are determined by the amount of letters in them
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
No, it's a paranoid schizophrenic with suicidal tendencies
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Hello mum! ... Favours for cash ... things like that.
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Devon
How can there be self-help groups?
Have you ever been? they just have a table full of beer and a guy goes "help yourself!"
Why are cigarettes sold in gas station when smoking is prohibited there?
As a good source of revenue
Where are Preparations A through G?
They lost the pages before H
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
Their owners usually will lead them round so yes
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
No, they're thinking.. 'haha hope I get that page, I wanna shit on Geri Halliwells head again!! mwahaha'
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
You saying my feet smell?
They ask their parents or just check birth certificates
How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot... and something cold, cold?
I'm sorry that's classified
What is the speed of dark?
The same as the speed of light, just a bit dimmer
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
For blind people, sheesh
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, Why don't they wear a pair of bras?
2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 chest.... what? am I missing something here?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
Maybe you should pay more attention to them, but it's just not as much fun as disgruntled people
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
Whatever floats your boat
What's another word for synonym?
What's wrong with synonym how it is?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
The length of words are determined by the amount of letters in them
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
No, it's a paranoid schizophrenic with suicidal tendencies
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Hello mum! ... Favours for cash ... things like that.
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Devon
How can there be self-help groups?
Have you ever been? they just have a table full of beer and a guy goes "help yourself!"
Why are cigarettes sold in gas station when smoking is prohibited there?
As a good source of revenue
Where are Preparations A through G?
They lost the pages before H
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
Their owners usually will lead them round so yes
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
No, they're thinking.. 'haha hope I get that page, I wanna shit on Geri Halliwells head again!! mwahaha'
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
You saying my feet smell?
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #50
It won't end
M
minstrel_kyra
Guest
- Thread starter
- #51
why did i go to the trouble to read thru all of this thread?
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #52
Because it's both humorous and informative.
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #53
Originally posted by SFXman
Oh yeah, forgot. This belongs in the OT board
Only if people ask off topic questions..
D'OH!
G
Garnet
Guest
- Thread starter
- #54
How old am i?
And when will Kyra give me that kiss?
And when will Kyra give me that kiss?
U
Uncle Sick(tm)
Guest
- Thread starter
- #55
You will have to ask SFX there... he is the unholy god of spam.
Wish it was...
K
keela is
Guest
- Thread starter
- #56
L
lacroix
Guest
- Thread starter
- #57
Great thread, Cornell!
been roflmao
/em walks away thinking "now, how sad can I be ....?!?"
been roflmao
/em walks away thinking "now, how sad can I be ....?!?"
S
SFXman
Guest
- Thread starter
- #58
Of course people have the right to think to themselves that something is true or not and then announce it... many could agree.Originally posted by old.Patrick-S
i don't think anyone should have the right to say what is true or not .. and if your so up on scientifcally proveing and explaining, can you prove that that all religions are false? share your opinion fine but you cant say you know something you dont unless that posts a joke in which case above statement withdrawn
edit: typo
I just happen to have an opinion about religions realyl, that's just about it. I never saw any point besides explaining things using religion which otherwise are unexplanatory. These days we can explain most things so why bother....
Like someone said religions seems to start a lot of wars in some countries, still feel like you should practice it?
Kind of like:
U
Uncle Sick(tm)
Guest
- Thread starter
- #59
Someone carpet bomb this thread, please....
Thank you, George W. I told you it had Taliban in it...
Thank you, George W. I told you it had Taliban in it...
S
SFXman
Guest
- Thread starter
- #60
That's quite a lot of bombs 