Another thread about our daft modern culture

[Kryten]

I know I'm constantly whinging about stuff in general, but something else hit me today. Sat at work, stripping down a laptop to get my grubby mits on it's dual core processor, and all I could hear was a dustbin cart reversing to pick up one of our scrap skips.
"CAUTION. THIS VEHICLE IS REVERSING."
"CAUTION. THIS VEHICLE IS REVERSING."
"CAUTION. THIS VEHICLE IS REVERSING."
In a dodgy american accent.

I'm sorry, but I found that taking the piss. A bleeper, yeah, why not, but speech?

If you're too fucking stupid to notice a 10 ton vehicle backing up in your direction, you deserve to die. Even if it's going forward.

Why can't we just let natural selection take it's course? Why do the intelligent people have to protect the fucking stupid? If you kid runs in front of a car, the car driver is the one who is expected to take the rap in all cases. Even if doing 20mph in a 30 limit, with stupid speedbumps everywhere, and the retard runs into you not looking where he's going. Everywhere else in the world is like "What a retard - he won't be not looking where he's going again". Here, we're all running round saying "omg cars and their drivers are evil! Ban the car! Ban teh driver!"

In nature, the stupid and unfit die early, and deservedly so. Survival of the fittest. This maintains a natural balance and aids evolution. We are preventing this by fitting labels to our hairdryers saying "DO NOT USE IN SHOWER" and tags on peanuts saying "THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN NUTS". We even have the audacity to wonder why we have a population issue. Yeah, immigration plays a large part in that but not anywhere near this level.

Let nature take it's course. Let the stupid be killed/flattened/accidentally recycled.

 

[KevinUK]

Kryten for Prime Minister! :england:

 

[caLLous]

hear, hear!

 

[old.user4556]

I like your thinking Kryt, nice and right wing. Which I like. A lot.

I think we should take Manhattan island, build a big wall round it and put all the criminals, neds and tards in there; and let them get on with it.

That'd make a great film actually !!!1!one!

 

[Kryten]

Heh, very Battle Royale in New York. I like that too. Got a camera?

 

[Tom]

The worst one has to be the fucking escalators in supermarkets.

WARNING YOU ARE APPROACHING THE END OF THE ESCALATOR - PLEASE TAKE CARE AS YOU EXIT THE ESCALATOR

I know its the fucking end! I have eyes! And blind people know perfectly well how to use escalators without your stupid fucking voice going on about it all the time. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

 

[Kryten]

Our newly built Asda has just that. Makes me think - clearly some fuckwit has in the past has injured or killed themselves by somehow not realising they were coming to the end of the escalator.

Just like somehow, someone highly allergic peanuts decided to give KP's Dry Roasted a try.

And stood behind a reversing bin lorry.

I expect a governmental leader in the future called Darwin.

 

[mank!]

i hate these sorts of threads more than anything in the world.

sorry.

 

[Kryten]

mank, I think you're wrong. I think this thread has only just started.

For instance.

Better?

 

[mank!]

now we're getting somewhere

 

[Mabs]

lol so true, but id argue that kids arent at fault, its the parents
and tbh, if you hang all the ambulance chasing lawyers, stupid warnings wouldnt be required .

 

[Ch3tan]

Well I'd have thought it was for blind people. Not the stupid.

 

[Deebs]

Well I'd have thought it was for blind people. Not the stupid.

Ah but Chet if it was for blind people only and not the stupid why are you in this thread?

 

[Ch3tan]

Heh.

Unfortunetly we live in a society where someone will take advantage and try to get compensation if we take all the pointless warnings away.

 

[TdC]

we do? I don't. Until the first case crops up in holland of a housewife taking her grocer to court because her leeks weren't all of a uniform length and colouring causing her leek pie to not win first place in a leek pie making competition that is :/

 

[Kryten]

Bleepers on the backs of lorries are for blind people?

Like bollocks.
They're noisy enough as it is. I'd rather they added some braille to the rear bumper.
"CAUTION. YOU HAVE BEEN HIT BY A FUCKING NOISY TRUCK REVERSING. WE APOLOGISE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY CAUSE"

It's pure "health and safety gone mad" and nothing more to it.
The very say reasons that the same binmen are not allowed to pick up a black binliner now - because of what may be contained therein.

 

[leggy]

Since when?

There is a no bin policy (fucking crazy) in Birmingham. So, the only option the bin man would have is to use his vast telekinetic skills.

 

[dysfunction]

On the subject of annoying things...

Why is it necessary to have "guards" blowing whistles at train stations??
They don't have these people on the Tube network. I can't see the point of blowing a whistle all the time. Why not use a signal or an intercom device instead.

I may have to claim compenasation for going deaf from the railway companies one of these days.

 

[Tricose]

need we say more
silly instructions ‹ real life ‹ humour ‹ meridian.net.au

:touch:

 

[SilverHood]

hehe, we had one of these trucks outside while sitting my final year uni exams. Went on for about 10 minutes, and everyone was in stitches, much to the chargrin of the invigilaters.

 

[Kryten]

leggy : I suspect this is purely a regional thing.
Binmen are not allowed to pick up a black sack, period. It is a sackable offence.
Even with big gloves on.
Also, for the same (health and safety) reasons they are not allowed to empty a wheely bin if it is overfilled and the lid is over 5" above the normal closed position. All they are allowed to do is wheel the bin to the mechanism of the lorry and push the button.

It's fecking daft, and I'm just sick of it.

 

[Overdriven]

Heh, I actually agree with everything you've posted in this thread. First time for everything it seems.

 

[RandomBastard]

Our entire road was almost finned for leaving out bins on a curb side (despite the steepness of the alleyway and read entrances to properties. They claimed "bin's should not be left on the highway" we claimed we had nowhere to put them and that our road was not a highway because it wasn't maintained. (Its a steep uphill cul-de-sac where a larger amount of tarmac has flowed down hill/ eroded to the cobbles beneath)

also I think Clarkson should be p.m. and kryt his deputy