And thanks for all the fish...

[Damini]

I, being the wonderful caring girlfriend I am, have spent today cleaning a fish tank that smells like Jaws's armpit and wiping away the accumalative fish poo of the years in order to surprise Kenny when he comes home. Following the protestive deaths of our last fish due to lack of food and basic human civilries (picture a moist burning monk, and you're close, in a surreal way of not being at all) this tank has been lying dormant at our own house. So, what more can I do to top this loving feat but buy fish to go in it.

Kenny and Damini, the fish, were bought at about six. I get home at ten past six, and fill up the tank. Add some plants. Add a weird little plastic tacky monument. Proceed to introduce fish to new home. Find fish in one inch of water, in a puddle of water in the now flooded kitchen, due to a hole in the bloody bag. Flooded kitchen of joy, and dying fish. So I've thrown some more water at the problem and I've run away because I have a sneaky suspicion they are going to die.

"Ta da Baby! Today I got some fish for you! Aren't I great? That's Kenny floating there, and Damini is that lump stuck to the gravel. I'm not at all scary! LOVE ME! LOVE ME or you'll swim with the fishies... Get it? Ahahahahhahahaha...." *runs off waving hands about*

What bollocks. Any marine biologists in the house?

 

[old.Fweddy]

Damini, you are easily the funniest person who posts in these forums.

/edit come to think of it, i have the same kind of luck with hamsters

 

[Skyler]

oh dear damini... oh dear oh dear

 

[Moving Target]

All my fish ended up down the toilet.

 

[Damini]

I can hardly go back and buy some more fish... I think it looks a bit suspect. They nearly didn't let me get any fish in the first place because the one I really *really* wanted to be the Damini fish because it best matched my personality was actually like that because it was dying, and me not getting the point kept demanding the small one that keeps wobbling and floating up to the surface. When I bought instead The Orange Fish ("The goldfish you mean??") and The Dinky One With The Red Head ("*sigh*") I made a vow not to go back there because they looked at me like a Hitler of the marine world. I think they marked those fish as dead as soon as I touched them.

And they might be right, damnit!!

I'm pouting and refusing to go into the kitchen.

 

[Summo]

Good for you. Best way. I assume you've taken them out of their puddles? Are they in the tank or are you just leaving them there to flap about? Well? WELL?












(I'd marry you if I could, Damini. )

 

[old.Fweddy]

why not try and do anything you can to keep them alive? teach those evil fish shop people a lesson. i have a pretty good idea what your going through because i bought a fish today too but put too much ketchup on it and ruined it

 

[Damini]

Well, because if you put them in different temperature water the shock kills them, and if you dont have them in water at all they tend to die too (awkward little bastards really) I tried making some tap water the same temperature as the little amount of water they had, and then pouring it in to mix. Naturally, I was shit at this and thats why Im sure they are dead. Then I cut open the plastic bag carrier bag the fish carrying bag had leaked into, trying to form a rudemantary funnel system, but instead making my clothes really wet and smell of pond, and losing the rest of the water all over the floor. So I just left the bag with the hole in it, with one cubic centimetre of authentic water mixed one part to twenty with Damini's ACME room temperature attempt water, floating on top of the very clean fish tank water. I'm hoping when I look back in there they will be very happy and swimming but I'm fairly sure that I am the water based life forms very own anti christ, and they will be dead.

 

[Damini]

I should really go look....

updates to follow shortly.

 

[Skyler]

what you should do... is fill the tank with room temp water....

then put the bags in there gently, dont let the water mix, so that the temperature of the bag water slowly adjusts to the surrounding water.... then you can let them out

 

[Wilier]

Youll prolly find them quite happy, or dead, one or the other.


Strange what a new house and fish do to folk. When we first got our house, we bought 2 fish Mars and Twix (dont ask ), put them in a funky tank, got a filter etc. Twix died about 2 years ago, Mars lives on, 6 years after we got him. No matter how much I neglect, ignore, forget to feed him, boil him, freeze him (Im assuming its a him) the bastard wont die.

Course, now if he does die, my daughter will demand another one.

Good luck Damini, hope Kenny appreciates all the stress youve been through for him.

Also, I think if youve used tap water, you need to treat it with some blue stuff from a little yellow bottle. (cant remember the name, sorry)

 

[Damini]

But I had to make the water mix SKyler, because they were crammed in a little corner with their arses in open air. I don't think fish like living in such little water...


Damini seems fine, in a hyperactive kind of way. I'm not too sure about Kenny's lifespan...

And how do you get room temperature water? You have to achieve it through the passing of time (which you can't do when fish arses are waving in the air) or you have to George's Marvellous Medicine it.

Mix two parts Scalding Hot Top with seven parts Hypothermia Tap. Shake well, apply to dying fish.... Hide for quarter of an hour.

 

[wolfeeh]

/me thinks

fish can't possibly be as much hassle as hamsters... i am sooo with you on that fweddy ;p

 

[Damini]

Ok lads, well here's the test. I'm off to pick up Kenny from his parents. They will be either a) dead or b) not when we return.


Wish me luck!!

 

[wolfeeh]

bets

3 : 1 alive.

but they'll die tomorrow

 

[Disco PhoolCat]

Ok, I'm no expert, but Disco Dormouse is!

Sadly, she's somewhere over the Atlantic on her way to Vegas, but I know she'd say:-

"Did you use any de-clorinator?"

I'll ask her for help when she phones home tonight, but until then...

What sort of fish are they?

How big is the tank?

What temp is the water?

What filter you using?

 

[Wilier]

Originally posted by Disco PhoolCat

"Did you use any de-clorinator?"

ffs Phool, thats what I said

Do you want another kicking??

 

[Sawtooth]

Beware of just buying gravel for fishtanks and using it directly outta the bag. You need to wash it first else they will die again.

Saw

 

[Wilier]

Originally posted by sawtooth
....... they will die again.

Saw

Eh, how do they die again

 

[Perplex]

Aye, before you can stick them into tap water you need to de-chlorinate the water (usually a blue liquid in strange little bottle)

 

[Moving Target]

Well I didn't do that, and they survived a few years.

 

[old.Fweddy]

i think i've just figured out why my fish died

 

[Perplex]

Originally posted by Moving Target
Well I didn't do that, and they survived a few years.

Lucky then

ps. Lived in Reading for about 18 months as a Delphi programmer - a miserable excuse for a town No life, shite nightlife etc. Wouldn't be too bad a place to raise children tho, except having to brave the fuckign ONLY 2 bridges to cross the river at 8 in the morning. it's about time they built a big 6 lane bridge over it. Livingin Emmer Green and trying to get into the centre (Itron, you probs know it) was a demoralising suicide inducing twice-daily nightmare

 

[Moving Target]

Ah, but have you been to the Oracle? Pretty good

 

[Disco PhoolCat]

Originally posted by Wilier
ffs Phool, thats what I said

Do you want another kicking??

Excuse me?

Originally posted by Wilier
Also, I think if youve used tap water, you need to treat it with some blue stuff from a little yellow bottle. (cant remember the name, sorry)

Blue stuff = Fungicide

De-chlorinator = Clear stuff

At least, ours is.

& wtf u mean - another kicking???

 

[Wilier]

check your last kicking.

here

 

[Summo]

I demand closure! What's happened with the fish? :uhoh:

 

[mr.Blacky]

I had fish for dinner

 

[PR.]

I bet

 

[Disco PhoolCat]

Originally posted by Wilier
check your last kicking.

here

Hah! 'twas merely a scratch!

I challenge you to a Duel, sirrah!

Name your server...