Agghh !! What am I to do ??

[xane]

Originally posted by PR
[...] I would simply take the cat [...]

Hmm I seem to have discovered the minor flaw in your plan here.

 

[JohnyWishbone]

Heres what I did;

When I got home I went straight around to see him, he was in his drive minding his plants.. his dog which wasnt on a leash attacked me, if he had'nt grabbed it by the scruff of the neck it would have had me nads.

I.N "He does'nt like people"

ME "Nice dog...... anyway heres what I suggest about this problem, to alleviate the immediate problem of the destroyed property I will pay for anything our cat has damaged"

I.N butts in "You cant replace them, I have reared those plants from seed"

I'm thinking oh FFS, but say "Well hear me out, I can still buy you more and to try and avoid it in the future I will make some kind of external litter thing to try and encourage the cat to use that. You were obviously mad this morning and I can understand that, but your neighbourly solution of destroying our family pet was not very neighbourly. And your attitude made me to mad to try and be helpful this morning."

he nodded along, and showed me his garden and what the cat had done, the products he had bought .. so on and so forth.

So I went to B&Q and bought him some alternative products, powder and spray, both harmless to plants and soil, when I knocked on his door with those he was over the moon. Just have to see if our flippin cat gets the hint.

 

[Summo]

Next, spray cyanide on his chuffing roses!

 

[Trem]

You seem a top neighbour johnny, it seems he's a dog person and you are a cat person, his dog must be a fooking poof though if it can't keep your cat outta his garden. You have done all you can now so let us know what happens....












....any one here ever tried to shave their balls?

 

[Summo]

Originally posted by Tremor
....any one here ever tried to shave their balls?

Um... wha? What? Where did that come from?

And, no.

 

[Wilier]

like I said in another thread, all pets should be destroyed.

End of story.

*runs*

 

[Trem]

You know when you just have an idea from nowhere, well that was it, you see Summo my chum, I do not believe it is possible to actually shave ones own testicles, surely there would be much stripping of scrotum skin, do you think I should start a new thread?

 

[Wij]

With a razor ?

 

[Trem]

Yep with a wet shave razor wijjy

 

[Wilier]

I think you'll find that when you go to have a circumsicion (sp??), you have to have totally hair free nads.

I collegue of mine, sat next me now, did his own (shaving that is) and said that if you pull the skin quite taught, the jobs not too hard.

 

[Wij]

What if you have a hairy c0><0r ?

 

[Trem]

Hmmmmm, I get bored sometimes when I take a dump, I may give it a try later.

 

[Wij]

Shave your dump ?

 

[Wilier]

erm, your a bit weird then.

What about immac, burns a bit I believe.

/pretends never to have had immac on his body.

 

[Trem]

The pace car or the racer?

 

[Wilier]

Originally posted by Tremor
The pace car or the racer?

eh?

 

[Trem]

The pace car is the slow poo that comes out first then the speedy racer poo's follow after, I was just wondering which poo wij wanted me to shave, because in theory the pace car poo would be the easier of the two

 

[Furr]

Get a dog!

 

[Wij]

I demand all p00s be shaved equally.

 

[Testin da Cable]

I expect nothing less of my p00s.

 

[Wij]

*roll p00 in flour*

 

[Trem]

*fry poo in whelk semen*

 

[mr.Blacky]

*screams foodfight and hides in the closet*

 

[Munkey-]

*hides in cooker*

 

[Trem]

*opens mouth*

 

[Summo]

*climb out*

 

[Sawtooth]

Sorry I hate cats (allergic to them) and had trouble with a lot of neighbours balls of fluff shittin on my flat roof (has gravel on it so they think its kitty litter).

No sympathy from me then.

I re-roofed with a plastic laminate that they dont like but was expensive for me to do.

I have tried all sorts of plants that apparently cats dont like but I still find the occasional turd.

My best suggestion for thje neighbour would be to shoot the cat and put the body in the kitty litter but with lime instead of conventional litter. Then hang the body up as a warning to other likeminded rats (cats)

Cat = Rat with fluffy fur (ahhhh)
pidgeon = Flying rat
rat = naked cat

Funny how cat and dog lovers always abrogate their responsibility when it comes to their pets shit.

Best thing is not to keep pets if they can be a nuisance.

Still think one hundred things to do with a dead cat is a great book.

 

[Sar]

Considering Grays cat was just shot, that's an amazing amount of tact you're showing there Sawtooth.

GG.

 

[Sawtooth]

Thats what happens when you skip a few posts.

Sorry to hear about the cat, but this still doesnt make me a cat lover.


I suggest he reports the guy to the police as he's probably a psychopath. Nope correct that, a psychopath with a gun.

Maybe I should just dig my hole a little deeper and cover myself with dirt (perhaps a cat will come along and shit on my head)

Many apologies

Saw

 

[Sawtooth]

Nope cant seen any ref to shot cats...

Climbs out of hole and brushes dirt and poo off head. Shakes head and walks away to get gun.