After 9 years....

[Guest]

....me and the gf have decided to split up (again) but this time for good, i was 40 the other week and i aint lived by myself for as long as i can remember, i am scared and excited all at the same time, i have absolutely no desire to have any relationships atm, i will miss the little jakester who is not taking this very well at all.

All my friends have said its a good thing and that i should have done this years ago but its all a bit confusing and new so fuck knows how its all going to pan out. I mean 9 years is a long time.

She works 2 nights a week at the hospital and i am goping to stay overnight at the house as my son needs someone to be there. So i am only really staying 5 nights at my new place. It isnt the best situation but theres really nothing i can do about it....

 

[Wazzerphuk]

40!?!?! I thought you were about 20something at max. Crikey.

 

[Rubric]

Spent 10 months apart from my wife over the last year. Got back together in August. If you got kids is it not worth trying to sort it out?

 

[Ch3tan]

I thought you were married to her brooky, meh, maybe the break will do you both good. You can;t really say you have split up for good, you have a kid and you never know how things will work out.

 

[Raven]

I know what you mean about the scared and excited at the same time feeling, me and the wife (of five years) split up about six months ago. I was in two minds as to whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Part of me wanted to go out on the pull as i did was i was younger, i looked forward to the independence, the other half missed the companionship. We got back together in the end though, a much stronger relationship than before and we are happy again.

Anyway, if you both feel its final then meh, you are your own man again, go out meet new people, catch up with old friends. If you do decide to try again then make sure its for the right reasons. You have a kid but (imo) don't get back together just for the sake of a child, a single loving parent is better than two parents at war. If you think you can make your relationship work the try, its a long hard road but it maybe worth it.

Its up to both of you, what you want from a relationship and whether you both think you can make it work. If there is something then go for it, if you truly think its over then try to remain friends for the sake of you child.

My mum and dad split up when i was three, they didn't get on for years because my Dad, as i know now is a total psycho wanker (not spoken to him in three years because he is a complete loon) but try to remain calm and even though you are not together you must remain responsible for your child, if your ex is a good parent then try to support her.

I am drunk though so its up to to decide whats best but either way could be best, if you think you can make it work and rebuild the relationship then do so, if you mutually agree its over, try to remain on good terms.

 

[Gamah]

Meh, I am only 22 and live with my GF of almost 2 years, sometimes I just want to be single and be able to go out on the lash with my mates, but then I don't want to be single because I remember how much that sucked..coming home to an empty house, watching tv alone etc.

At the same time, I am still young and want to "travel about" a bit.

I love her though so I guess thats all that matters, I reckon its the media fucking with my mind telling me I should be out "having it large"

 

[old.user4556]

I reckon its the media fucking with my mind telling me I should be out "having it large"

One of the biggest reasons (imo) of younger couples splitting up, the sensation that creeps in that they're missing something (see Quarter-life crisis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ), usually media driven. I remember Scott Mills at uni starting time having a campaign for girls to dump their boyfriends before uni. Ok, it was all in good humour, but it does fill people's brains full of shite.

My ex of 5 years (amongst other problems that we should have sorted/talked about) went on holiday without me (i was due to go), met a bunch of people her own age (she was 20, i was 25), realised she wanted a "party" lifestyle that I wasn't so keen on (because i'd been there already), and ended it. Over a year has past, and that party lifestyle fizzled out pretty fast for her as the reality of being skint and having fuck all career. She moved back to her parents' house a miserable, depressed and debt ridden individual. I feel for her, but it's too late as I moved on.

Brooky, maybe this time is not for good, but only you'll know that I suppose. I split from my current gf for a few months over the summer (she had some baggage that she couldn't deal with), but we had zero contact and then got back together in August and like a couple of others on this thread, it's much stronger than it ever was.

 

[Guest]

well, hopefully we can sort it out, but its going to be a long road.......