Rant Aaaargh! F**king WOMEN! :eek:

[Scouse]

Sorry in advance to any girls:


Just had a shout upstairs from the bird:

"The decking is a little bit on fire"

We're having a barbecue and one of the coals has fallen out of the bottom, landed on a plastic flowerpot that she'd stashed underneath and melted through it - setting it on fire and then dripping on the decking, setting that on fire.

So. Does she put it out?

No. She walks upstairs and informs me.


I wouldn't mind if it's a one off, but lately she seems incapable of acting how any normal person would when presented with the smallest of problems.

Instead she seems to have devolved all responsibility for anything out of the usual to me.


Cheer me up. Tell me I'm not alone. What other utterly, utterly stupid things have your girlfriend/wife/supposed better half done recently?

 

[Ch3tan]

I think she's pregnant.

 

[Darthshearer]

I think she's pregnant.

:lol:

 

[Scouse]

I think she's pregnant.

That's easily sorted. I've got an ice-cream scoop and a fuckload of rum.

 

[cHodAX]

Splitarses, who can figure them out?


/em runs!

 

[Shagrat]

I drove up the drive to the house after a hard day at work a couple of years ago to see smoke rising over the fence.

hurried through the back gate as wifey ran past with a bowl full of water shouting "heeeeeeeeelp"

She'd been trying to burn a load of cardboard and stuff in the garden and had built the bonfire too close to the hedge......


Be thankful that your gf leaves things to you. Makes life much less of a disaster movie in the long run

 

[Trem]

She's a scouser bird, possibly the worst of them all.





*runs*

 

[Zenith.UK]

I think she's pregnant.

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Sorry in advance to any girls:


Just had a shout upstairs from the bird:

"The decking is a little bit on fire"

We're having a barbecue and one of the coals has fallen out of the bottom, landed on a plastic flowerpot that she'd stashed underneath and melted through it - setting it on fire and then dripping on the decking, setting that on fire.

So. Does she put it out?

No. She walks upstairs and informs me.


I wouldn't mind if it's a one off, but lately she seems incapable of acting how any normal person would when presented with the smallest of problems.

Instead she seems to have devolved all responsibility for anything out of the usual to me.


Cheer me up. Tell me I'm not alone. What other utterly, utterly stupid things have your girlfriend/wife/supposed better half done recently?

Many things about this post intrigue me. I'll stick with the less, er, flamey ones.

'We're' having a barbeque... and you're upstairs? This had better be the Enola Gay of awesome dumps or you just got relegated to the Crap Host division

And... plastic flowerpots under BBQ... erm... dude... you didn't look?

 

[Jail Bait]

Many things about this post intrigue me. I'll stick with the less, er, flamey ones.

'We're' having a barbeque... and you're upstairs? This had better be the Enola Gay of awesome dumps or you just got relegated to the Crap Host division

And... plastic flowerpots under BBQ... erm... dude... you didn't look?

What Roo is trying to Say is he thinks you are GAY

Bar B Que is the mans domain

 

[Scouse]

'We're' having a barbeque... and you're upstairs?

And... plastic flowerpots under BBQ... erm... dude... you didn't look?

Yep. I'd nipped upstairs for said Enola Gay and said "keep an eye on this".

Whilst I was doing that she looked around the garden and decided that some of the plantpots that were lying around "looked untidy" (god knows why at that exact moment she began to care). So she, naturally, placed them under the barbie.


Bless her. I'm going to make her go to the bar all day today - so I won't miss a minute of any of the World Cup

She's a scouser bird, possibly the worst of them all.

Actually - she's almost a brummie. She was born in brum and her parents have brummie accents.

When she was a teenager she made a concious decision to not speak with the accent - and that stuck! Way to go eh?!

Actually. Remembering that's cheered me right up about her. She does have some sense!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well, talking about women, on an upbeat victory for men;

Bumped into ex last night. (20+, basic looker, nothing bed out kick)
She dumped me because she didn't think we'd look good together(go figure).
She was taking home a 40+ something, balding, semi-combover drunk with a sports jacket and jeans
I gracefully said hello, how are you and fought the urge to go "Bwahahahaha!" until i was far enough.

 

[Trem]

Actually - she's almost a brummie. She was born in brum and her parents have brummie accents.

When she was a teenager she made a concious decision to not speak with the accent - and that stuck! Way to go eh?!

Actually. Remembering that's cheered me right up about her. She does have some sense!

Oh god, a brummie/scouse hybrid. Run away.....RUN AWAY NOW!

 

[Bodhi]

Oh god, a brummie/scouse hybrid. Run away.....RUN AWAY NOW!

Aren't they known as Stokies?

 

[Jeros]

Splitarses, who can figure them out?


/em runs!

Not heard that one before, how awesomely offensive

 

[Trem]

Aren't they known as Stokies?

Yes, exactly my point

 

[Edmond]

Is she on the blob...?

 

[Shagrat]

Well, talking about women, on an upbeat victory for men;

Bumped into ex last night. (20+, basic looker, nothing bed out kick)
She dumped me because she didn't think we'd look good together(go figure).
She was taking home a 40+ something, balding, semi-combover drunk with a sports jacket and jeans
I gracefully said hello, how are you and fought the urge to go "Bwahahahaha!" until i was far enough.

I wouldnt have been laughing...

your basically saying you got dumped by an average looking bird for a balding 40 year old??

I'd have probably kept that to myself tbh.

 

[ECA]

Obviously the balding 40 year old has a massive cock or a massive wallet.

( then again it is toht.... ).

 

[old.Tohtori]

I wouldnt have been laughing...

your basically saying you got dumped by an average looking bird for a balding 40 year old??

I'd have probably kept that to myself tbh.

I'm basically saying that the high and mighty have fallen, no doubt no regular guy was interested in a shallow bitch. Dumping for looks sake, then ending up with that. It was an ex of a few years back, not yesterday.

Unless your twisted mind somehow counts every consequent person someone dates a switch to all the previous ones

Yes ECA, it is me and thanks for saying my cock and wallet are both massive

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Or, he is an amazing guy.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Or, he is an amazing guy.

Very well could be, not the point anyway, but hey you lot take it as you like, like always

 

[DaGaffer]

Or maybe there's a more simple explanation:

 

[old.Tohtori]

Oh i know i'm no prize catch, that's why i know if someone looks worse

 

[nath]

Or maybe there's a more simple explanation:

I heard an interview with the lead singer of Lordi on XFM a few years back. He actually seemed like a really nice chap, I was quite surprised to see him in his full evil garb at Eurovision.

 

[MrHorus]

Whilst I was doing that she looked around the garden and decided that some of the plantpots that were lying around "looked untidy" (god knows why at that exact moment she began to care). So she, naturally, placed them under the barbie.

lol clever

 

[Calaen]

Well, talking about women, on an upbeat victory for men;

Bumped into ex last night. (20+, basic looker, nothing bed out kick)
She dumped me because she didn't think we'd look good together(go figure).
She was taking home a 40+ something, balding, semi-combover drunk with a sports jacket and jeans
I gracefully said hello, how are you and fought the urge to go "Bwahahahaha!" until i was far enough.

So you got pooned off a 40 year old balding guy.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHhahahahahhahahahahahhaha

 

[old.Tohtori]

So you got pooned off a 40 year old balding guy.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHhahahahahhahahahahahhaha

It's funny how your brain works.

You must have a really weak selfesteem if you compare yourself to all your exes current guys like that.

"She traded me for that, and then that guy, and then that guy is also what she traded me for, but she also traded these guys for him too!"

Haahahahahahahahahahahaetclol111!

 

[Calaen]

It's funny how your brain works.

You must have a really weak selfesteem if you compare yourself to all your exes current guys like that.

"She traded me for that, and then that guy, and then that guy is also what she traded me for, but she also traded these guys for him too!"

Haahahahahahahahahahahaetclol111!

You tried to make yourself feel better, I imagine if it has nothing to do with looks that this older man is just better boyfriend material than you. Either that or he's a great fuck.

 

[old.Tohtori]

You tried to make yourself feel better, I imagine if it has nothing to do with looks that this older man is just better boyfriend material than you. Either that or he's a great fuck.

Yes yes, you're such a great analyzer of people, *pat on head* Go along now troll.