A talking centipede

[Amphrax]

Bloke see's an advert in a pet shop, 'talking centipeded', £5000. He buys it, takes it home in a small box. After about 30 mins he opens the box and says 'would you like to go for a pint'. The centipede doesn't answer. Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply. Getting angry, thinking he's been done, he shouts the question loudly. At which the centipede sticks his head out of his box and says 'I heard you the 1st time you c**t, I'm putting my shoes on'.

 

[Ezteq]

hehe

 

[Litmus]

What do you call nuts on the wall?
Wall nuts.

What do you call nuts on your chest?
Chestnuts.

What do you call nuts on your chin?
A cock in your mouth.