A random why?

[Chilly]

Trem.........................................................................................................................................................shit dude.

 

[Uara]

was that an offer?

as its christmas and its you TdC, i couldnt refuse............but unfortunately I uh gotta wash my hair for eternity!!

 

[mycenae]

trem, if your piles are that bad, go to the Doc and ask to have them surgically removed. Its really not that painful and its instant relief!

 

[Trem]

Seeing as its Xmas I would be willing to take a picture of my pile and PM it to anyone who is interested.

Please no time wasters or tyre kickers though.

trem, if your piles are that bad, go to the Doc and ask to have them surgically removed. Its really not that painful and its instant relief!

The woman across the road had hers stapled, and after Samm the gob told her I had dangle berries she talked to me about it. She said it was the best thing she had ever done and couldn't believe she left it so long.

Thing is I don't want anyone in my arse

 

[Kryten]

I don't know what to say.


! just about covers it though!

 

[Chilly]

pm please trem.

 

[Trem]

pm please trem.

Bit drunk right now but I will do my best in the morning. I will force my morning pooh out so it upsets Dave and that should allow me to get a good shot of him.

 

[Kryten]

You name your piles?

Dave?

 

[TdC]

He started at A, obv. Very methodical is our Tremlar

 

[Kryten]

Arnold, Bob, Chris and Dave?


Just hope he doesn't get to the point where he has to find a name starting with Z :|

 

[TdC]

Zachery Knowing Trem, he'll decide on stapels come Victor

 

[00dave]

You name your piles?

Dave?

How offended am I. Glad my real name isn't dave.

 

[Kryten]

Well I just asked the reason why

"Dave's a little sore this morning, Bob's been itching like there's no tomorrow, Raymond at the back there has been a right little bleeder and the little shit in the middle - oh, that's not a pile....."


Mind you if you must insist on giving your piles names, Trem, do you talk to them? I can imagine passing the toilet door now whilst hearing "For fuck sake, Dave, get out of my arsehole you irritating bastard. No, don't do that, now it's bleeding! Nnnngh!"

 

[Sharma]

Why do urinal blocks smell so nice?

Seriously.

And petrol...


Also Varnish smells lovely.



.............


I think I damaged my brain when I was a child....

 

[russell]

Damn right!

I have a terrible pile problem (not as bad as Lesters, he once told me one of his burst in the night and woke him up, not sure if it popped loudly or it was just the pain). Last weekend I mainly ate apples, oh jesus, dave the pile suffered on Monday morning. I was shitting every half hour and by the last emptying I was in agony. I have special stuff from the doctors called Pteridactyl (I swear thats what its called) and the problem with this stuff is if you apply too much, because what that does is it burns your ring like you would not believe.

I put too much on last week and ended up having a shower and ramming the shower head (thin type, not the big normal type) in my arse and standing there changing the temp from hot to cold (cold is a shocker). My arse grapes finally stopped hurting that night.

The entire Scottish holiday we went on last year was spent with me walking like Dale Winton after a visit from Elton John because I kept putting too much of the dinosaur cream on (this was before I figured out that too much = pain).

I hate applying the stuff, no matter how clean you think your arse is you always have a bit of pooh on your finger at the end, that must be how a porn star feels after she has hosed her arse out for the anal scene and the bloke still gets a brown helmet, devastating!

But yeah Anusol smells lovely, its my second favourite pile cream.

Why is it Tremlar that in each and every post you make ,you sound more and more attractive....

 

[Trem]

Why is it Tremlar that in each and every post you make ,you sound more and more attractive....

I did tell you at the beginning that I'm the best catch on here

 

[Uara]

I did tell you at the beginning that I'm the best catch on here

dammit if only i really looked like my avatar, then I would blatantly claim best catch on appearance alone

 

[Ch3tan]

I did tell you at the beginning that I'm the best catch on here

The sad thing is, he wasn't lying.

 

[TdC]

he wasn't, but he does call ME the god of sex though

 

[Trem]

I'm the best catch but Teedles is hung like a god, he is the cause of my pile problem

 

[Uara]

aarrrrgggghhh why do I keep coming back to this thread, I keep having to find a way to purge my brain

 

[Ch3tan]

The woman across the road had hers stapled, and after Samm the gob told her I had dangle berries she talked to me about it. She said it was the best thing she had ever done and couldn't believe she left it so long.

Thing is I don't want anyone in my arse

I'm the best catch but Teedles is hung like a god, he is the cause of my pile problem

Ahem.

vote Trem

 

[Trem]

Ahem.

vote Trem

I don't want anyone in my arse who isn't Dutch and hung, bit of a difference giving someone a reach around or having someone putting staples in your arse grapes

 

[Ch3tan]

Next you'll be telling us that Bill Odie is your best mate.

 

[TdC]

I'm the best catch but Teedles is hung like a god, he is the cause of my pile problem

I thought we were never to speak of that again?

aarrrrgggghhh why do I keep coming back to this thread, I keep having to find a way to purge my brain

you lurve us general forum people really. you're the one who's sick: you keep coming back to usssss

Ahem.

vote Trem

fucking LOL

bit of a difference giving someone a reach around or having someone putting staples in your arse grapes

I vote the quotes database be renamed the book of Trem

 

[Uara]

you lurve us general forum people really. you're the one who's sick: you keep coming back to usssss

Yes, yes I am sick!! *stands up* hi my name is Uara and I'm addicted to the general forum *sits down* I just can't help myself!

 

[TdC]

soon you'll be seeing oblique sexual references everywhere, not to mention kittens, and you will have truly come over to the dark side. we have cookies, donchaknow

 

[Uara]

lol I see sexual references everywhere anyway, so thats nothing new now if i start seeing kittens that will be a sure sign of the darkness, plus who can refuse cookies. AND I've even put out for a subscription (hmmm tht sounds wrong) as a christmas present to myself!

 

[Ch3tan]

remember: an FH subscription is for life, not just for christmas.

 

[TdC]

you're a Freddy now, Uara. there is no us or them any more. soon you'll be swapping stories worthy of mind bleach like a pro