25 Ways to Impress a Girl

eggy

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
5,283
25 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRL

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other girls ####. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

lol!

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny.
 

Sparx

Cheeky Fucknugget
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
8,059
have to say all those made me smile, girls at work didnt appreciate it, maybe i should clock them
 

leviathane

Part of the furniture
Joined
Dec 26, 2003
Messages
7,704
meh was alright. This eggy's attempt to become one of us OT boyz.
 

eggy

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
5,283
leviathane said:
meh was alright. This eggy's attempt to become one of us OT boyz.

No, this was Eggy's attempt to fight off the mundane afternoon having finished all his work this morning ;)
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
I got 25 ways to impress a girl too:

1: Inch.
2: Inch
3: Inch
4: Inch
5: Inch
6: Inch
7: Inch
8: Inch
9: Inch
10: Inch
11: Inch
12: Inch
13: Inch
14: Inch
15: Inch
16: Inch
17: Inch
18: Inch
19: Inch
20: Inch
21: Inch
22: Inch
23: Inch
24: Inch
25: Add all together.
 

fl3a

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
1,989
old.Tohtori said:
I got 25 ways to impress a girl too:

1: Inch.
2: Inch
3: Inch
4: Inch
5: Inch
6: Inch
7: Inch
8: Inch
9: Inch
10: Inch
11: Inch
12: Inch
13: Inch
14: Inch
15: Inch
16: Inch
17: Inch
18: Inch
19: Inch
20: Inch
21: Inch
22: Inch
23: Inch
24: Inch
25: Add all together.

i doubt adding 25 inches to your waist will impress a girl
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
just 2 ways you eill ever need to impress a girl:


*fiddle with your leg somewhere mid thigh near the knee region, then wince when you stand up*

to which if she's worth anything she'll ask "ooh are you ok?"

and then here is is boys, the line of lines:

"Oh fine, just had to rearrange my love tackle and got a bit of a twingey back from lugging my wallet about all day"
 

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