11 and NOT 20 :(

[Kathal]

I got a little thing that bothers me.
I got a kid (Well it’s my X's, but we see her as mine too). When I have her for a weekend we usually go out to see a movie, out swimming, ice skating, to the different Tivoli’s etc. We do stuff that a dad and an 11 year old kid normally do.
The problem is that she looks older than she is and she is very pretty. At the same time she is very physical. Holding hands and hugs me and put her arm around me when we are out. She does exactly the same with her mother. When the 3 of us is out we look like a little family and there is no problem. The thing is that ppl sometimes think we are BF/GF It annoys me and tbh they should notice the age difference and realise that it’s nothing like that at all. She is 11(and looking like 14 maybe) and I’m 30.
My thoughts are that I shouldn’t give a damn what other ppl think. When my kid wants to hold hands I shouldn’t push her away. We shouldn’t be victims of all the focus there is on pedofiles(sp?) there have been the last 5-10 years.

 

[snushanen]

Well man, I dont think you should give a sh*t about what other people thinks. If I saw a girl witch i tought was 14 and a guy in the 30s holding hands etc I woulndt think for a second that they were a couple. It still is sad that many people do. And i can imagine that its a creapy feeling, when other sees you like a couple or something.
And i dont think at all you should push her away or anything.

 

[Sparx]

its a very tricky situation to be in mate, one that tbh doesnt have a simple answer. Its a case of worry about things or enjoy being a dad

 

[Dudley52]

Don't give a shit what people think mate, why does it matter what they think, just ignore them and enjoy the time out with your child

 

[Jeremiah]

I'd agree with what you've said - you are the victim of all the coverage of paedophilia (such a dodgy word to spell too!). Its a sad day when parents cant show their kids affection because of the assumptions of others. I really sympathize with you.

Theres studies to show that the level of affection given to kids while they are growing up can affect some aspects of their future life. And yet, as this shows, situations can occur where you are made to feel uneasy in public about doing something so innocent.

Enjoying being a dad! Ignore the people who make you feel uneasy! Life is too short to worry about what others think, fill your days with happy memories of spending time together. You'll need them in 5 years time when she is asking for money for clothes/taxis/films/food etc.. I'll bet there are few around who wish they could have received a little more affection from their father figure, have a good time and smile because you have a daughter who loves ya!

 

[DocWolfe]

Just rape her and leave her for dead in an alley... j/k well it reminds me of a story a read in the papers a couple of months ago.

Where a priest got forced to resign from the parish by people who complained when he gave a little girl a kiss on the cheek after winning a prize at the school prize giving... because it was "inappropriate".

Now what the fuck is this world coming too - its not like hes grooming her over and extended period of time, now that would be cause for concern but it was a little kiss on the cheek, I bet if it was a female priest there would be no problems.

Fuck what the world thinks, and fuck over protective parents.

 

[Mikah75]

Ignore them mate, you've got to be pretty stupid to look at a 30 year old with a 10-14 year old and think thatthey're together tbh
might just be you being paranoid or if people stare, just ignore it, as they obviously think wrong, dont change for other people and most certainly dont push her away because of it, its your life, do as wish; you're doing nothing wrong

 

[Kathal]

might just be you being paranoid or if people stare, just ignore it, as they obviously think wrong, dont change for other people and most certainly dont push her away because of it, its your life, do as wish; you're doing nothing wrong

I didn’t give it a thought until I got some strange replies.
I was buying some t-shirts with some funny text on for my kid. She was with me when we picked them out in the store. They dint have the colour with the right text on so they had to order new T-shirts and I could come pick them up when they got them (Hmm did that make any sense?). Anyways I know the one that got the shop and she sent me an Email when she received the T-shirts. In the mail she said that "my GFs shirts was rdy". I went down there to pick them up without saying anything.
Last Friday my kid was with me at work and had similar comments.
Thx for all the replies. I think I’m going to let my kid decide when se don’t want to hold hands. Hmm, or maybe I’m going to stop when she gets taller than me. Her dad is 195cm or something and I’m only 176cm. At 11 she is 158cm (That’s tall for an 11 year old afaik.)

 

[Dudley52]

Just rape her and leave her for dead in an alley... j/k well it reminds me of a story a read in the papers a couple of months ago.

Where a priest got forced to resign from the parish by people who complained when he gave a little girl a kiss on the cheek after winning a prize at the school prize giving... because it was "inappropriate".

Now what the fuck is this world coming too - its not like hes grooming her over and extended period of time, now that would be cause for concern but it was a little kiss on the cheek, I bet if it was a female priest there would be no problems.

Fuck what the world thinks, and fuck over protective parents.

not on the cheek, on the forehead

 

[Kinag]

Things like this annoy me alot.

I think it's wrong when parents can't show affection over their child without being judged by people who simply look at them.

My own suggestion to you is to keep up and don't take notice of them.

 

[cHodAX]

The world has gone mad, not alot else to be said really.

 

[Kinag]

The world has gone mad, not alot else to be said really.

Quoted for truth

 

[Delket]

It would be silly to make your kid suffer for the views of others. Do what she wants and ignore what others think or say, its hard but the right thing to do.

 

[Job]

I can assure you that people are so fine tuned to it that they will question dads holding their daughters hands, FFS a real peado isn't going to advertise it to the world he does his evilness behind closed doors.

My mates divorced and has been advised not to have his 12yr old daughters friends around the house unless theres someone else to chaperone.

 

[Himse]

Its all fucking overhyped ,by the media, which causes the random joe to be fucking paranoid.

 

[Kathal]

My mates divorced and has been advised not to have his 12yr old daughters friends around the house unless theres someone else to chaperone.

That's REALLY sad. Well at least he gets to see her. Not all dads is so lucky

Its all fucking overhyped ,by the media, which causes the random joe to be fucking paranoid.

Yeah. I’m all in for protecting the kids, but it’s getting out of hand imo. In Denmark there are almost no males in the kinder gardens etc. because of this. And with all the men out there with no balls (By that I mean they run when they get the title "DAD"), most of the kids out there don’t have any males in their lives.

 

[Himse]

That's REALLY sad. Well at least he gets to see her. Not all dads is so lucky
Yeah. I’m all in for protecting the kids, but it’s getting out of hand imo. In Denmark there are almost no males in the kinder gardens etc. because of this. And with all the men out there with no balls (By that I mean they run when they get the title "DAD"), most of the kids out there don’t have any males in their lives.

Indeed it is, its really quite stupid. Im all for it too etc, but hey, the law is so uptight about it atm, and its all over the news so people are more and more aware of it.

 

[Weever]

Tbh, taking the child out shows that you are being a good father figure to her, if people think that you both are a couple then its them that need to sort themselves out for thinking such a thing...
If i were u i wudnt stop being such a caring dad just coz of the few idiots that seem to think that you are a couple, and just carry on as you were

 

[Neffneff]

my daughter isnt even a year old yet, my son is 4, and im alrdy worried about the same stupid people looking at me like im some sort of paedo(sp?).

its a clear problem being created by the media, and peoples natural protective instincts, one that probably is not going to go away.

its sad, but all we can do is try to ignore it, and supply the homelife we want for our children. with the way the average family is changing we cant afford to screw our kids up anymore by distancing ourselves from them.

 

[Blackjack]

many times i think you imagine someone looking at you funny when in reality they are just thinking "cute kids" or something. But tbh the fear of child abuse is slowly creeping up on us and will probably end in a full scale witch hunt sometime. When people start discussing if it's ok for a father to kiss his daughter etc.

 

[Tilda]

Dont push her away. Ignore the looks like a man. If someone asks, explain you're her dad.

 

[crispy]

Tbh, i don't think people puts too much into it. Well normal people doesnt.

It's probably only the idea that a couple of people might think that about you so the more you think of it, the bigger a problem it is. Im certanly no expert here and i have no idea how you look irl, but if you give people the impression that youre her dad you might help yourself overcome the feeling that people are looking at you, ie, wear non-pedo clothes xD and dont smile the pedosmile Well hope you get my point