O
old.[SCW]Nessie
Guest
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He
knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive,
so he thought he'd buy her a little something to keep her occupied
while he was gone.
He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He
thought about a life-sized sex doll but that was too close to another
man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for
something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man
behind the counter and explained his situation.
The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do
the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on,
but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
except---?" and he stopped.
"Except what??" the man asked.
"Nothing, nothing1" the clerk said.
"C'mon, tell me! I need something!?"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo
Penis.?"
"So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?? he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old
wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He
opened it and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman
laughed and said "Big damn deal.It looks like every other dildo in this
shop!"
The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He
pointed to a door and said "Voodoo Penis, the door." The Voodoo
Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and
started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the
vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.
Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"
The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there
quiescent once more.
"I'll take it!? said the businessman. The old man resisted, saying it
wasn't for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an
imitation
Rolex. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special
dildo
and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my
crotch."
He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was
gone. After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably
horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her
but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened
the box and said "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"
The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was
absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
After
three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and
decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out but it was stuck in
her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out but nothing
worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.
Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering
with every thrust of the wonderful dildo. On the way, another
incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road.
A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked
for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping
and twitching, she explained "I haven't had anything to drink, officer.
You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it
won't stop screwing me!"
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an
arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass!?
The rest is history!
knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive,
so he thought he'd buy her a little something to keep her occupied
while he was gone.
He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He
thought about a life-sized sex doll but that was too close to another
man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for
something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man
behind the counter and explained his situation.
The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do
the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on,
but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
except---?" and he stopped.
"Except what??" the man asked.
"Nothing, nothing1" the clerk said.
"C'mon, tell me! I need something!?"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo
Penis.?"
"So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?? he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old
wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He
opened it and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman
laughed and said "Big damn deal.It looks like every other dildo in this
shop!"
The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He
pointed to a door and said "Voodoo Penis, the door." The Voodoo
Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and
started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the
vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.
Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"
The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there
quiescent once more.
"I'll take it!? said the businessman. The old man resisted, saying it
wasn't for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an
imitation
Rolex. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special
dildo
and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my
crotch."
He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was
gone. After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably
horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her
but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened
the box and said "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"
The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was
absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
After
three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and
decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out but it was stuck in
her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out but nothing
worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.
Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering
with every thrust of the wonderful dildo. On the way, another
incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road.
A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked
for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping
and twitching, she explained "I haven't had anything to drink, officer.
You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it
won't stop screwing me!"
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an
arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass!?
The rest is history!