O
old.Tohtori
Guest
It's been a long while coming or some other songlyrics noone remembers or wants to hear. But again i've come to do a whole thread about random stuff and not put stuff on random threads. Read it twice and it'll come to you. Mods can, once again, decide how DAoC related this is and how quickly should it be used as fertiliser to those green pastures of-topic. Har...made a funny...off-topic...aah...i kill myself. *Argh!* With a knife. Ok, let's get seriously Seel here and begin. It is time the Seel gives credit to people who deserve it, therefor these are:
*dramatic music!*
Teh Seel Awards for Mentally Challenged People
*drumroll!*
First off i'd like to give a special Seel "Award For Total Idiotism", or the AFTI-Trophy, to the guy who invented backpacks big enough for over 300lbs people! It's such a delight and morning pleasure to see a rhino turn around and wham it's teddybear backpack in your face! So, for all you big fat people out there, i salute you!
/salute
Now, on the topic of fat people and modern day idealism about how people should look. I heard from one of the pretty fairy people who daily try to cause a building to collapse by leaning against them that they don't like the new Tomb Raider movie because it's yet again a good example on how the modern society idolises the fit, big breasted women. Now, i'm no Public Relations specialist or a producer of a major film company, but i can say for a fact that when i go see a movie with a female lead who kicks ass for the lord or the queen or just for fun i want to see what's behind her aswell.
Just imagine, a tomb raider who can't fit into the tomb without the help of a caterpillar or a very large hammer. And who really wants to see an "actionhero" the size of a house do backflips, kill a few bad guys with her breath and then stop for donuts. So the award for "Get a Brain And a Thighmaster" goes to the lovely lade in Kentucky. Lay of the Kentucky Fried Chicken and try to find a word "Jog" in the dictionary.
The next award was a tight battle between a few contestants. It is the very wanted award of "Public Twat Number One". Now this award is usually given to people who just don't seem to get things right, do everything the way only a halfbrained mongoose could dream of and generally for being, a Twat. This time the award goes not to a single person but a whole group of people! The green peace "Save the world from the giant squidmonster" people who roam the streets. My idea of a good walk to work does not involve these things:
A: Getting hit by a bus.
B: Getting hit in the face by the Winnie The Pooh backpack of a 300lbs guy in the tram.
C: Suicide Bunnies jumping from Buildings shouting "Iip..iip...iip"(ever heard a bunny talk?)
D: Chearful people coming to me and shouting roughly from one inch away "Do you have a moment?" or "Want to save the world?"
Get it in your head people, writing a name on a piece of paper won't save the rainforest, giving a few coins in your puny little jingly boxes won't help dolphins learn the difference between a pack of tunas heading for fishnets or the open sea. So the award has been altered slightly and this year the greenpeace cultpeople get the award of "Public Twats Number One"
This year i'm not giving away so many awards, simply because there were too many and not far apart enough people who deserve credit for making the life of others just a little bit more miserable. But since this is mainly an educational thread and knows how to ripoff good lines from tv-shows, the last and certainly the least award goes to a very special group of people.
These people have dedicated their lives in making peoples lives difficult in so many ways that you would need three calculators to count the mere desimals of it. It's a very rare occasion when i am priviliged, no, honoured to hand out the award for "Best Breakthrough Pain In The Ass".
The competition was fierce and in the end only one could survive and fill out the criteria needed for this award. If you could hand over the Miniature Icefloat containing the name of the winner...
*drumroll...faded lights...*
And the winner of this years "Best Breakthrough Pain In The Ass" goes to....
Yes...it is as the people expected... NOISY NEIGHBOR WITH A POODLE!
Narrator:
This is the first year The Noisy Neighbor with a Poodle has been selected as a Breakthrough pain in the ass but the Noisy neighbor holds many other awards from years before. Such as the "Who left doodoo on my porch" award and the higly appraiced "Learning the Piano at 5am" award. It is a proud moment for The Noisy neighbor with a poodle and just listen to the audience. They knew this awards hit it's mark.
Thank you people for once again watching the Seel Awards for Mentally Challenged People and do come back next time when we award even more people who ´still want to know what -is- the beef and where did waldo hide it.
*dramatic music!*
Teh Seel Awards for Mentally Challenged People
*drumroll!*
First off i'd like to give a special Seel "Award For Total Idiotism", or the AFTI-Trophy, to the guy who invented backpacks big enough for over 300lbs people! It's such a delight and morning pleasure to see a rhino turn around and wham it's teddybear backpack in your face! So, for all you big fat people out there, i salute you!
/salute
Now, on the topic of fat people and modern day idealism about how people should look. I heard from one of the pretty fairy people who daily try to cause a building to collapse by leaning against them that they don't like the new Tomb Raider movie because it's yet again a good example on how the modern society idolises the fit, big breasted women. Now, i'm no Public Relations specialist or a producer of a major film company, but i can say for a fact that when i go see a movie with a female lead who kicks ass for the lord or the queen or just for fun i want to see what's behind her aswell.
Just imagine, a tomb raider who can't fit into the tomb without the help of a caterpillar or a very large hammer. And who really wants to see an "actionhero" the size of a house do backflips, kill a few bad guys with her breath and then stop for donuts. So the award for "Get a Brain And a Thighmaster" goes to the lovely lade in Kentucky. Lay of the Kentucky Fried Chicken and try to find a word "Jog" in the dictionary.
The next award was a tight battle between a few contestants. It is the very wanted award of "Public Twat Number One". Now this award is usually given to people who just don't seem to get things right, do everything the way only a halfbrained mongoose could dream of and generally for being, a Twat. This time the award goes not to a single person but a whole group of people! The green peace "Save the world from the giant squidmonster" people who roam the streets. My idea of a good walk to work does not involve these things:
A: Getting hit by a bus.
B: Getting hit in the face by the Winnie The Pooh backpack of a 300lbs guy in the tram.
C: Suicide Bunnies jumping from Buildings shouting "Iip..iip...iip"(ever heard a bunny talk?)
D: Chearful people coming to me and shouting roughly from one inch away "Do you have a moment?" or "Want to save the world?"
Get it in your head people, writing a name on a piece of paper won't save the rainforest, giving a few coins in your puny little jingly boxes won't help dolphins learn the difference between a pack of tunas heading for fishnets or the open sea. So the award has been altered slightly and this year the greenpeace cultpeople get the award of "Public Twats Number One"
This year i'm not giving away so many awards, simply because there were too many and not far apart enough people who deserve credit for making the life of others just a little bit more miserable. But since this is mainly an educational thread and knows how to ripoff good lines from tv-shows, the last and certainly the least award goes to a very special group of people.
These people have dedicated their lives in making peoples lives difficult in so many ways that you would need three calculators to count the mere desimals of it. It's a very rare occasion when i am priviliged, no, honoured to hand out the award for "Best Breakthrough Pain In The Ass".
The competition was fierce and in the end only one could survive and fill out the criteria needed for this award. If you could hand over the Miniature Icefloat containing the name of the winner...
*drumroll...faded lights...*
And the winner of this years "Best Breakthrough Pain In The Ass" goes to....
Yes...it is as the people expected... NOISY NEIGHBOR WITH A POODLE!
Narrator:
This is the first year The Noisy Neighbor with a Poodle has been selected as a Breakthrough pain in the ass but the Noisy neighbor holds many other awards from years before. Such as the "Who left doodoo on my porch" award and the higly appraiced "Learning the Piano at 5am" award. It is a proud moment for The Noisy neighbor with a poodle and just listen to the audience. They knew this awards hit it's mark.
Thank you people for once again watching the Seel Awards for Mentally Challenged People and do come back next time when we award even more people who ´still want to know what -is- the beef and where did waldo hide it.
