Tech Support

[Roo Stercogburn]

This happened yesterday to a colleague of mine. A friend of his was having problems with his PC. It would boot up and crash just after start, but then when it tried to run CHKDSK it would fail before completing every time.

When my colleague went round to his house to have a look it turned out his 3 year old daughter had been sticking fridge magnets to the PC

 

[Nightchill]

haha

 

[the_smurflord]

I can go one better....

This was a few years back when I was a helpdesk monkey. Had 1 woman who was complaining of her PC inserting extra spaces into every document she wrote. I went and had a look, couldn't find anything wrong, nor could I replicate the problem. So I got one of the other monkeys to have a look and they couldn't find any wrong either.
In desperation we turned to our boss who went to have a look. He took one look at the woman, and subtley adjusted the back of her chair backwards so she stopped bashing the space bar with her breasts when she typed.
We told her it was a driver problem.

 

[kinag]

lol ^^

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

My favourite remains the women who rang our helpdesk to complain that nobody phoned her when she pressed the "Help" key

 

[kinag]

Originally posted by Roo Stercogburn
My favourite remains the women who rang our helpdesk to complain that nobody phoned her when she pressed the "Help" key

Big fool imo.

 

[Cyradix]

A while back my company hired a new sales guy.
After he picked up his new laptop he phoned us half an hour later because you couldn't access any of the servers.

Since we sell network solutions you would guess that the guy has some basic networking knowledge....

.... so I went to check it out and found out he had plugged both side of the network cable into the wall sockets.

I wonder what he is trying to sell to our customers…

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Wow, didn't realise you worked for Wannadoo

 

[Ardrias_Mid]

Umm... so you're supposed to have one end in the pc, or what? :uhoh:

 

[Cyradix]

I just wonder how these people think....


So i plugged both ends of the cable into the wall and my pc still can't connect to the network... hmmmm.....



The hardest part though is explaining their mistakes with a straight face

 

[old.Tohtori]

Oh look, another thread about support funney haha events...


*GIGGLE GIGGLE SNORT!*

 

[cHodAX]

My best tech support ain't so much funny as filthy

Was doing a server install at RAC Stockport when I was passed another call for a desktop user unable to get a network connection. I went downstairs to locate the user who helpfully moved out of the way so I could trace the network cable under the desk to look for damage. Now this is where it gets good. Across the desk from where the user sat was a very cute early 20's young lady. I climbed under the desk and started tracing the cable down to the floor sockets, just as I reached the floor the young ladies legs moved which diverted my attention to them. Right there and then I nearly drop dead in shock and delight. NO PANTIES As all good engineers would I took my time sorting the cable problem out, 3-4 minutes later I finally plucked up the guts and composure to return to the surface. Now for the real shock, she was staring at me and smiling. As a left she flicked me a sexy little wink. Distracted I walked past a bank of laser printers and managed to fall over a box of printer paper. She was laughing her arse off and I felt like a complete twat

 

[old.Tohtori]

*resists*

ah...

*resists more*

i umm...

ARGH!!!

I bet you wanted to plug your cable into her modemport hmm?

Too bad you only take 3-4 minutes to sort cableproblems.

SORRY!

 

[Teren]

poor chodax

 

[leviathane]

lol nice.

 

[Cap'n Sissyfoo]

I once had a phone call from a guy who was unable to get the cursor in M$ Word to move to the next line after he had finished writing a paragraph.

"Normally it moves to the next line automatically but when I try to end a paragraph it won't go to the next line. Is it broken?"

Hmm...and pressing the 'enter' or 'return' key doesn't do anything?

"Which key is that?"

It is the large key with the bent arrow on it. You can't miss it.

"Is it the one that says 'shift'?"

Err...no. It is the one above that.

"Ohh...right. Hey, it works. Thanks mate!"

No problem. ~cries~

He was an old guy from the sound of his voice but even so...

Another woman phoned me up and complained that her speakers weren't working. I made sure that she had plugged them into the mains (common mistake amongst fools) and was about to suggest that she bring them in to be replaced when I asked her if she had plugged them into the back of the computer.

"Ohh...I didn't realise I had to do that as well. Thanks for your help!"

No problem. ~cries~

/edit Nice story, Chodax. Some people get all the luck.

 

[Brinx]

Today a female luser asked me if a CD is 'the round thing or the square thing' when I informed her she'd need a Windows installation CD. I dispair.

 

[Serbitar]

Had this one when i was working on a helpdesk...

Cust: I'm afraid my cup holder has broke could you send someoen round to fix it please?

Me: Cup holder? I'm sorry sir none of our systems come with a cup holder.

Cust: Yes they do, you press the button and the cup holder pops out.

Me: Aaah I'm sorry Sir, you seem to be referring to the CD Drive. We can replace this for you but we will have to charge you </hold> Fucking idiot </unhold>

 

[Ardrias_Mid]

Old.

 

[Brynn]

lol chodax, classic

 

[old.Tohtori]

The old classic, that i've posted on everyone of these, that happened at my office:

Me: The mail ain't working.

Support dude: Yeah i know.

Me: Well you gonna fix it?

Support dude: I sent everyone a mail about it.

Me: *Sigh*

 

[Whoodoo_RD]

Best one i have seen (just trawled thru to find it) was a guy who accidentally emailed a nude pic of his missus across the hospital network.

He typed in "ALL" and the autocomplete in the adress bar firstly pulled up "All KCH" (Kent and Canterbury Hospital) instead of his m8 "Allan". He hit return and away it went

TBH she aint too bad, I would post a link but kiddies and Glottis read this.

 

[Cyradix]

PM us the link

 

[old.Tohtori]

Originally posted by Whoodoo_RD
instead of his m8 "Allan".

Why the hell would he send nudie piccie of his wiffie to a friend...ie..?

Moron.

 

[Whoodoo_RD]

Originally posted by old.Tohtori
Why the hell would he send nudie piccie of his wiffie to a friend...ie..?

Moron.

Think its a kinda swingers thing they got going all kinds of weird things go on in hospitals..... resident flats are especially interesting

 

[old.Tohtori]

Originally posted by Whoodoo_RD
Think its a kinda swingers thing they got going all kinds of weird things go on in hospitals..... resident flats are especially interesting

More then i need to know and how do i join? I dun have a wife but i don't mind sharing

 

[Whoodoo_RD]

Ahh, thats easy, work for the NHS and find a local club, i know of at least 2 groups in my hospital into it

Not my cup of tea tho, although the appertisers are quite nice

 

[cHodAX]

swingers