Stop the world I want to get off

C

Cadire

Guest
March:
Look on Internet for garden decking. See a nice precut kit... perfect for what i want. I see they recommend buying a nailgun to put it together. It's reduced if bought with the decking... order that too.

Two days later:
Nailgun arrives. It's a compressor driven thing. Looks very cool, and I can't wait to use it on the decking when it arrives. I waste about 100 nails 'practising' on the shed.

April:
Decking arrives! I cart it all into the back garden, and peruse my latest project. Hmmmn, what's this big bag of screws? Read the assembly instructions, and it's all about screwing this and that, but no nailing mentioned.

Ring up the vendor.
Me: "This decking you sent me, the one with the recommendation to buy a compressor/nailgun to assemble it."

Them: "Ah yes, very nice gun that."

Me: "Indeed, but the decking is put together with screws."

Them: "Oh is it? Let me check that for you".

Them: "Oh yes, you have the improved decking kit, and no nailing is required."

Me: "Well, I guess you won't mind me returning the nailgun then?"

Them: "Umm, sorry no. It's sold as part of a kit."

Me: "But it's not suitable for the kit it's provided with!"

Them (at top of voice) "WELL I'M SO FUCKING SORRY. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO DO MY JOB AS YOU SEEM SO FUCKING EXPERT AT IT."

Me: "Erm."

Them: " I'M FUCKING TIRED OF LISTENING TO MOANING TWATS LIKE YOU ALL DAY. FUCK OFF." <slams down phone>

Ring vendor again. Get somebody else.

Me: "I was just talking to David, who seems to have suffered some sort of mental collapse."

Them: "Oh I'm so sorry, he's going through a bad time at the moment."

<sounds of someone shouting his head off in the background>

Me relates saga of decking and useless nailgun.

Them: "Hmmn, that does seem a bit odd. Tell you what, I'll arrange for a credit to your card, and I'll also arrange for someone to come and pick up the compressor and nailgun."

Me: "Thankyou very much."

Today (Good Friday no less!) Courier turns up......

with another nailgun and compressor.

Me abandons RL, and head into study and power-up PC.
 
T

Tenko

Guest
Yeah!!


This story is officially fucked up and I like it! :clap:
 
O

old.TeaSpoon

Guest
You can have fun duel wielding the nail guns, shooting at local cats ;)
 
D

Damini

Guest
That made me laugh so much I had to get Kenny to come and laugh at it too :)
 
B

Brinx

Guest
As someone who once worked at B&Q, I can empathise.
 
G

gengi

Guest
Cadire look on the bright side, you got money refunded to your Credit/Switch card and have two nail guns. All in all a Good Friday
:D

Later
 
S

SilverHood

Guest
you know Gengi.. that was almost funny. I smiled. And almost laughed.






Almost.
 
C

Cadire

Guest
Oh dear......

Having constructed the base ready for levelling, I've discovered another instruction page (stapled to the inside of a stack of wood). It describes how to nail the 70 or so uprights to the handrails.

Ummm......
 
S

Sharma

Guest
Originally posted by Cadire
Me: "I was just talking to David, who seems to have suffered some sort of mental collapse."



:ROFLMAO:



hahaha :D
 
O

old.job

Guest
Class qoute that, will be using myself, the next time it is required.

I like the one to use on annoying tele salespersons, wether their male or female, just ask them what colour panties they are wearing.:D
 

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