SPAM random annoying things

[Raven]

Just come back from a lovely shit myself.

 

[Lakih]

Being pressed for time before a meeting. Decided to have a quick poo. Quick poo turned into massive shit. I hate rushing a shit so I was 10 mins late to my own meeting

Tell everyone why you were late, in great detail.

 

[TdC]

I did. Then after my presentation I took everyone out for beers. Nobody joined.


However! in the pub I met a guy I vaguely knew. Guy says his vendor is giving him a bender w/20 other people. I joined and got a free bender. Accidentally agreed to give a speech for 400 people, but stole 2 bottles of bespoke Barolo.

Full of beer but still not sure who got ripped off

 

[Raven]

Getting ketchup in your beard.

 

[Scouse]

"Unimaginable"

Really? I'd have thought they'd have known that was a possibility. If it was unimaginable then it shows that they're so poorly equipped to face the reality in front of them. And nearly six years on they've still not confirmed where the fuel actually is!

 

[Anastasia]

Starting to polish your wife's favourite (light tan) boots, and realising a few strokes in that you've made a poor choice of polishing brush...

 

[caLLous]

There's no hope, you'll just have to continue and hope you accidentally improved them in her eyes.

 

[Scouse]

Catholic church at it in Oz :\

 

[Ormorof]

Catholic church at it in Oz :\

It astonishes me that they are still allowed to operate in any of these countries, any other organisation running this kind of shit would have been shut down a long time ago

 

[Tom]

Looking for free website building software, online, offline, whatever, because I have very little work at the moment and random google searches of the term that'd be used to find me (if you lived in London and didn't know the local crews) point to my colleagues. All the online "best website builder" lists say that each website is easy to use.

Like piss they are! They're complicated as hell! I've decided on Wordpress, it's like trying to wipe your own arse with the wrong hand - and that's the easiest one I've found!

 

[Raven]

Useless people.

It needs to be easier to fire them.

 

[DaGaffer]

Looking for free website building software, online, offline, whatever, because I have very little work at the moment and random google searches of the term that'd be used to find me (if you lived in London and didn't know the local crews) point to my colleagues. All the online "best website builder" lists say that each website is easy to use.

Like piss they are! They're complicated as hell! I've decided on Wordpress, it's like trying to wipe your own arse with the wrong hand - and that's the easiest one I've found!

Wordpress is about the best if you want to do something more professional than a simple WYSIWIG edited site from the likes of GoDaddy or Wix; its a bit of a learning curve but its not that hard to master. Key issue will be SEO; you need to make sure the site is mobile optimised (Google now downrank you if it isn't) and then get yourself lots of inbound links (Guild of Television Cameramen? I can't find you in the directory), including showreel stuff on Youtube etc. LinkedIn profile? Get a link to that as well and to your site from LinkedIn (nb. learn to love social media, be active on twitter etc with job related stuff and link back to your site). A quick flick through some of the member profiles on that GTC site shows a lot of them have websites but they're not very well optimised; most haven't been made responsive so you've got an opportunity there.

 

[old.user4556]

Looking for free website building software, online, offline, whatever, because I have very little work at the moment and random google searches of the term that'd be used to find me (if you lived in London and didn't know the local crews) point to my colleagues. All the online "best website builder" lists say that each website is easy to use.

Like piss they are! They're complicated as hell! I've decided on Wordpress, it's like trying to wipe your own arse with the wrong hand - and that's the easiest one I've found!

What for exactly? I'm also looking at a site, but specifically for photography, lots of fingers point to Squarespace.

 

[Tom]

Just for my business. I've sorted it now.

 

[Raven]

Useless people.

It needs to be easier to fire them.

Also, people that smell of piss need firing too.

 

[Moriath]

Also, people that smell of piss need firing too.

Gonna fire yourself on both counts?

 

[Lamp]

I can't draw

I blame a borked pencil

 

[TdC]

6/10 for effort

 

[Lamp]

Penguins are notoriously difficult to draw. That's why Michelangelo and Caravaggio didn't paint any.

 

[caLLous]

Penguins can't be any harder to draw than owls...

 

[Raven]

Women who describe themselves on FB as "sassy" its the new "bubbly" I think...no love, you're just a balloon.

 

[old.user4556]

Women who describe themselves on FB as "sassy" its the new "bubbly" I think...no love, you're just a balloon.

Outward voice - "I don't need a man!"
Inward voice - "I should stop eating cake because I desperately need a man"

 

[Ormorof]

I had a lovely piece of carrot cake today

 

[old.user4556]

Do you also desperately need a man?

*unzip*

 

[Ormorof]

I could do with another piece of cake tbh

 

[old.user4556]

I could do with another piece of cock tbh

 

[fettoken]

Women who describe themselves on FB as "sassy" its the new "bubbly" I think...no love, you're just a balloon.

Imagining you describin yourself as sassy - accurately so!

 

[Raven]

Getting to morrisons and finding you have caught the shits from your wife who caught it off some spoiled brat at school because it's parents can't be arsed to parent.

 

[Moriath]

Getting to morrisons and finding you have caught the shits from your wife who caught it off some spoiled brat at school because it's parents can't be arsed to parent.

Tbh its not that simple. The kid could have been fine before leaving home and got the shits when he was at school. Just like you getting to the supermarket.

Its easy to pick stuff up like that at schools and nothing to do with the quality of parenting.

 

[Raven]

mmmm.

Moving on.

Getting excited, going on to Amazon, searching for latest Vikings episode.

Then remembering it finished last week.

Edit. Guess its another episode of "Lockup: Women Behind Bars" on Netflix...yeah I am running out of stuff to watch.