SPAM random annoying things

[Calo]

pretty much my entire job consists of updating excels :S

for some reason they dont believe in databases so im working on a 180mb excel which takes ~10-15 mins to start up :S

You live in the 90's at work?

 

[Ormorof]

You live in the 90's at work?

yep, we were using some software that didnt have mouse support (F keys to navigate through menus lol) until about 1 year ago

 

[Ormorof]

being chewed out for missing a deadline, when the only reason it was missed was because the person who is angry didnt provide the correct/relevant information until 10 minutes before the deadline argh eedjiots

 

[Overdriven]

Tech rant:

Spoiler

Netapp. This software needs to die to meteor. Been on a customer site to set up a multi-tenant hosted CRM environment. Got my VMs built (long story of wrath here..) then went to do some SQL clustering.. Guess what... NetApp isn't showing the LUNs once a cluster is made. So no clustering till they've fixed it.. This means I can't get SQL up (Doing it on a single instance won't work for my epic design..), I can't do a single node cluster.. Which means I can't get the other parts of the installation working. There's NO point of me setting it up to point to the single instance because it would be faster to scrap and start again.. Which means there's no point me sorting out certs for SSL (even thought the CA server, PKI server and DC is alive and waiting, lucky these can stay) - Could sort getting the certs sorted out on my SQL/SSRS/FE servers, but there's no fucking point right now (Longer story..) ALSO, configuring all this shit is going to be a nightmare due to internal policies and drama.

Also, I'm a dick and both under and over-specced my SQL design. Mr Genius right here forgot that clustering uses shared storage. So what do I do? Ask for dedicated storage for multiple servers AND THEN didn't include enough LUNs for the logs etc. Because you know.. Data and Logs are the only thing SQL cares about.

ALSO: Fuck cloud.

Non-tech rant:

Spoiler

Landlord decided to evict me on Tuesday (After one of my worst professional days ever) and I only got back to Staffs tonight. He's suddenly decided to give me another month here to find somewhere to live, which is nice.. But cuntish too. A month to find a place, whilst being in a place where I know they want to get rid of me (Reasons aren't to do with me, which is funnier..) The original offer was the 1st of October... Not sure what I'm going to do.

Down to London on Sunday to move loads of my old uni crap back home so I can transition better and have less stuff bogging me down in general. Not a nice feeling having to soon 'willingly live out of a suitcase' - Rather do that than have to deal with moving 50 boxes.

 

[CorNokZ]

tl;dr lol

 

[Overdriven]

tl;dr lol

Spoilers for that reason gimp!

 

[CorNokZ]

Didn't bother clicking them

 

[Bigmac]

Your computer dying and having no idea which part is broken. No VGA signal so I'm thinking graphics card or motherboard :/

 

[Lamp]

When a woman farts is either hilariously funny (if you don't laugh, god help you; and if you do laugh, she'll tell you stop laughing its not funny) or "I can't help it, its perfectly natural"

When you fart, suddenly its disgusting, you did that deliberately, you've got the manners of a goat, you've stunk the louge out, I'm opening a window, get the air-freshener etc

 

[old.Tohtori]

Sexism *nods* It's abundant and it's never gone away.

 

[CorNokZ]

Losing your phone in a club and not having saved all of your photos and videos for a while

 

[TdC]

desktop administrators having workstations start up with numlock off and not being able to change it

 

[Lamp]

Invisible snot.

Just sneezed a fairly large quantity of nose juice across the lounge floor. Can't see where it landed.

Oh well. I suppose when I hear the Mrs scream I know she's skidded in it as she goes barefoot all the time.


...I better find it before she does, or she'll take a revenge dump in my piano...

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Some cunt in my parking space again. Argh.

 

[TdC]

ooh aye...some cunt managing to door my lovely GT, even though I park miles away from everyone else. that's twice in a row, fucktards

 

[old.Tohtori]

ooh aye...some cunt managing to door my lovely GT, even though I park miles away from everyone else. that's twice in a row, fucktards

I think you'll find that managing it is quite easy when they see you have a GT.

 

[TdC]

 

[old.Tohtori]

Hey i was just saying that they're not clumsy f*cktards, just vindictive f*cktards

On the matter of annoying things; people who sneeze in their palm and then push elevator buttons.

They need a slap from the part where they should be sneezing.

 

[TdC]

well I admit having the sudden urge to buy an old banger, and drive about dooring every single volvo XC90 and bmw X6 I could find, but I suppose that the dings are the price to pay for a public parking spot :-/

 

[old.Tohtori]

Go on, to quote my favorite fictional person in the world ever imagined; introduce a little anarchy

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Some cunt in my parking space again. Argh.

Me waking up to a parking ticket because of this cunt, but he who has no permit in my permit only space? No ticket.

Rage.

 

[Raven]

Dog shit under the door handles sorts that problem out.

Also, report him to the council.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

It's a private estate type place and the council are useless so we have our own management. Passed all the info onto him, he's going to ensure he gets issued a ticket and contest my ticket for me

I was very close to letting all the air out of his tyres though. Decided to be all mature and stuff though

 

[Chilly]

It's a private estate type place and the council are useless so we have our own management. Passed all the info onto him, he's going to ensure he gets issued a ticket and contest my ticket for me

I was very close to letting all the air out of his tyres though. Decided to be all mature and stuff though

...and shat on his windscreen?

 

[Ormorof]

retarded 16 year olds working in shops

i had two contracts with my ISP one for TV another for internets - as i cancelled the TV one several months ago (because the service was shit, i paid for 8 extra channels and only 1 ever worked at a time) but still had the digibox card thingy i decided to hand it in a few weeks ago (they charge €1.66 per month you dont hand the card back but im lazy and had been putting it off for a while), the kid on the counter said "yep no problem here thanks for bringing it back" - on monday our internet connection died, after hours trying to get through to their customer service and failing i finally go back to the store - only to be told the retard CANCELLED EVERYTHING - so now i have no internet connection - the cheeky fucker even had the nerve to ask "would you like to setup a new account?" - i laughed in his face and told him to go shove it where the sun dont shine

New ISP please kthxbye

 

[rynnor]

Run out of coke zero and now have to drink wifes pepsi max - tastes like sugar water

 

[Raven]

Both are equally rancid.

 

[rynnor]

Both are equally rancid.

Cold coke zero's pretty good - both are awful warm though.

 

[Logi]

Cable of one of my rechargers gets caught under my chairs wheel, stopping it from moving.. And that god awful sound when you move the chair anyways as if you're breaking the cable... Brrrrr

 

[Edmond]

well I admit having the sudden urge to buy an old banger, and drive about dooring every single volvo XC90 and bmw X6 I could find, but I suppose that the dings are the price to pay for a public parking spot :-/

When i had my Mini a few years ago, it was brand new and i came back to it in the car park to find someone had gobbed snotty greenies all over the bonnet. Jealous cunts