SPAM random annoying things

[Aoami]

its AIDs

 

[TdC]

Spoiler

hi Deebs

tis indeed a wonder they let him walk about unattended 0o

 

[cHodAX]

tis indeed a wonder they let him walk about unattended 0o

It is a miracle he can even walk around without falling over because his centre of balance is so fucked!

 

[Lamp]

Mr Poo.

You're just ready to leave the house, wallet in pocket, phone, you're just ahead of schedule....then your guts rumble, and Mr Poo wants to come out to play.

I think your body does it deliberately. When you need a poo, you might get interrupted, knock on the door, phone rings, or an insufficient payload is deployed. When you don't need one, its says "Right, you ate a whole bag of Haribo last after those baked beans. I'll show you who's boss". Bastard.

 

[Bigmac]

Bellyache that won't disappear with pain meds, probably my crohn's disease coming back out of dormancy.

 

[rynnor]

Sainsburys shoppers - not sure why but they seem to attract the highest proportion of selfish assholes.

Asda/tesco/aldi/waitrose you name it they just arent as bad - it must be something to do with the advertising/brand image?

 

[Overdriven]

Bellyache that won't disappear with pain meds, probably my crohn's disease coming back out of dormancy.

Had my 3rd/4th operation on Tuesday (9/11) because of that. Been living on tramadol because of it. Lovely.

 

[Lamp]

Speedy recovery, Over m8. All the best.

 

[Gwadien]

Being mini sick and being unwillingly to swallow chilli for the second time

 

[Bigmac]

Had my 3rd/4th operation on Tuesday (9/11) because of that. Been living on tramadol because of it. Lovely.

Lovely indeed... Luckily mine hasn't progress that far yet but won't be far off.

 

[cHodAX]

Bleh I don't envy you the tramadol, its great as a one shot but daily use it is fucking horrible.

 

[Overdriven]

Coming off it is worse. I'd rather start and stop smoking over and over again.

 

[cHodAX]

Coming off it is worse. I'd rather start and stop smoking over and over again.

Yep, the last time I stopped taking it I had been on it for about 3 months solid as it was doing a far better job than co-codamol but for about a week after changing meds I could barely function. Even taking co-codamol as a replacement just left me feeling incredibly tired and down.

 

[Lamp]

Forgetting to put the filter on Flickr. I typed in "undergrowth" and got a pic of a fat middle-aged woman bending over showing her hairy clam. Put me right off my scrambled eggs

 

[Overdriven]

Speedy recovery, Over m8. All the best.

Cheers mate. More details below.

Yep, the last time I stopped taking it I had been on it for about 3 months solid as it was doing a far better job than co-codamol but for about a week after changing meds I could barely function. Even taking co-codamol as a replacement just left me feeling incredibly tired and down.

Numbers might be wrong, but this is my journey so far (Is just a blur..)

Started on Co-codamol after my first minor operation, which went from minor to me nearly being dead. This was during the first year of Uni. Got back after a week in hospital (They pretty much had to re-fill my body with blood at this point) then lived on those for quite a while. Was okay. Think it was a year and a bit on those? Had a 2-3 week detox of those (Worst time ever) but the pain came back.. So, back on them.

Second operation was an abscess removal, which should have been a standard procedure. Got infected (2nd year of uni, start of my placement year, was at about Christmas) which lead to the infection chewing from the abscess (intestine.. Near the exit) to OUT side of me (2-3 inches outwards of right-ass). (So they had to cut a chunk of me away) which was a good year or so on a mixture of tramadol and dihydrocodeine till maybe 6 months ago?

Had been off painkillers since around June this year, wound nearly completely closed up (They put a rubber 'stitch' in to stop it from getting re-infected that literally looped through me, in and out.. Lovely)

Had my 3rd (or 4th, as said, all a blur) on the 9th of September where they had to move the stitch (the original placing: Where they tied it, it moved inside me and wasn't letting me heal) - Now they've moved the actual knot to the outside of me, which I have to move to keep it from sticking/being awkward. Every time I move it I feel it tug not only my intestinal walls, but also inside of my right ass. Leaves me pretty much motionless till I can get either tramadol or ibpurofen down my neck.

GOOD news is.. This is only in till the 30th of October, where they'll remove it and I should be good. Expecting more painkillers then.. - Awkward thing is, because this is still a fresh op the pain still flares, and non-prescription meds barely do anything.

Fun times.

EDIT: If FH had blogs, I'd have blogged the whole thing. But this is a nice summary. Graphic version is a lot worse.

 

[Gwadien]

I've come to the conclusion that Lamp is a 'Funny' ranking whore.

 

[cHodAX]

OMFG mate that is horrific, you have my sincere sympathy. Puts my own health issues into perspective. Best of luck to you, hope you get some proper results soon.

 

[old.user4556]

I've come to the conclusion that Lamp is a 'Funny' ranking whore.

That's because Lamp is the funniest person on these forums.

Also the funniest with the nicest kitchen.

 

[Raven]

I started laughing while on the bog earlier, my wife didn't understand. I was remembering his kid eating a mars bar post.

 

[old.user4556]

Sometimes when I'm at work, I do a big loud pre-shit fart into the bowl knowing that there are people immediately over the partition, both in cubicles and at the urinals. I make it deliberately loud, wet and 'tearing'.

Sometimes I will punctuate a conversation between two colleagues:

"Hey John, how's thing?"

*FFFFFRAAAAPPPAPPAPAPAPA*

".... eh not "

*FRIIIPPPP*

"... bad mate, how are you?"

I struggle to hold in the laughter, bent over double in pain trying not to laugh out loud.

 

[Chilly]

 

[gohan]

Mr Poo.

You're just ready to leave the house, wallet in pocket, phone, you're just ahead of schedule....then your guts rumble, and Mr Poo wants to come out to play.

I think your body does it deliberately. When you need a poo, you might get interrupted, knock on the door, phone rings, or an insufficient payload is deployed. When you don't need one, its says "Right, you ate a whole bag of Haribo last after those baked beans. I'll show you who's boss". Bastard.

why everytime I'm eating do I read a post from lamp about poo? admitidly this one doesn't have the same stomach turning effect as the previous one but even so. I need to stop eating at the PC :<

 

[Lamp]

Sunday drivers.

Driving down a not very busy dual carriageway in the nearside lane, doing 40 (the limit for that stretch of road). Your man, obviously in a desperate hurry, pulls out from behind me, overtakes me, realises his turning's coming up, pulls in front of me, slams on the brakes, indicates briefly, and disappears up the side road. I uttered a naughty word. Or two.

This is why cars (in particular, mine) should be equipped with plasma cannon.

 

[gohan]

Sunday drivers.

Driving down a not very busy dual carriageway in the nearside lane, doing 40 (the limit for that stretch of road). Your man, obviously in a desperate hurry, pulls out from behind me, overtakes me, realises his turning's coming up, pulls in front of me, slams on the brakes, indicates briefly, and disappears up the side road. I uttered a naughty word. Or two.

This is why cars (in particular, mine) should be equipped with plasma cannon.

wait, doesn't this story make YOU the sunday driver?

 

[old.user4556]

Sunday drivers.

Driving down a not very busy dual carriageway in the nearside lane, doing 40 (the limit for that stretch of road). Your man, obviously in a desperate hurry, pulls out from behind me, overtakes me, realises his turning's coming up, pulls in front of me, slams on the brakes, indicates briefly, and disappears up the side road. I uttered a naughty word. Or two.

This is why cars (in particular, mine) should be equipped with plasma cannon.

The "cutting in and slamming on the brakes at the last minute" is worthy of a being taken to a landfill site, shot in the face and left for the seagulls to peck. Fucking annoying and downright dangerous.

 

[Lamp]

wait, doesn't this story make YOU the sunday driver?

Why? He wasn't indicating when he was behind me, overtook me to take the exit, which he would have reached in under 10 seconds anyway if he just drove normally behind me...

 

[gohan]

Cos the term Sunday driver general refers to some one who has no where to be and hold the rest of the traffic up?

 

[cHodAX]

That's because Lamp is the funniest person on these forums.

Also the funniest with the nicest kitchen.

I used to be funnier than Lamp, I think he must be using performance enhancing drugs these days.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Moronic drivers. We've got a row of parking spots at work, one guy drives to the end of it, notices there's no room for his car, backs up to the end of the line and since he's obviously too busy to turn the car, parks it across the two last spots sideways

 

[soze]

There is a variation on that theme.

It's my own mistake, but I used to eat lunch at my desk, with a newspaper, with my headphones in. A wild colleague would appear, make the "take your headphones out gesture" and say "oh, are you on your lunch?".

Now, this would be 12:15pm, my newspaper was open, I'd have my mouth full of sandwich and my iPod plugged it. TAKE A GUESS SHERLOCK.

Being a nice guy, id say "yes but if it's quick...", spraying sandwich at the same time to which they'd say "yeah just a really really quick question". Thirty minutes would go by.

I've stopped eating lunch at my desk. Other colleagues who have the same opinion go and sit in their cars at lunch because some people are just plain ignorant.

I take a 45 minute walk to Tesco at lunch now because people will not leave me alone. The line "sorry to disturb you on lunch but" has me foaming at the mouth. 99 times out of 100 it is some stupid problem that could of easily waited the 20 minutes till I am back