SPAM random annoying things

[old.Tohtori]

Solution to your earlier problem by the way, POV.

POV is like the laser mouse of porn.

You know, no balls

 

[Lamp]

Wearing socks is cool - especially if you do a 6m slide across a laminated floor before dumping your goo on her face

 

[Helme]

Finding out that the girl you've been flirting with for 40 minutes is 17, and your sisters best friend. Fuck.

 

[old.user4556]

Meeting a girl in a club who tells you she's 20 and at uni, then finding out after you've had a bit of a fumble that she's 17 and still at high school.

 

[Aoami]

Isnt that the plot of trainspotting?

 

[old.user4556]

It did happen in Trainspotting, but it happened to me.

 

[Aoami]

People with normal names who shorten them to stupid things. (Christopher -> Topher)

 

[old.user4556]

Shortening Christopher?

Christ

 

[Aoami]

Lame Joke Drums - Rimshot (For use in forums) - YouTube

 

[old.user4556]

lulz

 

[CorNokZ]

Lame Joke Drums - Rimshot (For use in forums) - YouTube

Far superior:

Welcome to Instant Rimshot

 

[Lamp]

the unquenchable thirst after a chinese meal

 

[Garaen]

Dickheads at the airport who hug the baggage collection rotating belt waiting for their baggage. Give some space ffs.

 

[Gwadien]

Dickheads at the airport who hug the baggage collection rotating belt waiting for their baggage. Give some space ffs.

Man up...

The Male guide to Baggage Collection;

Stand as far away from the rotation belt as possible, keeping your sharp eyes on the belt, waiting for your luggage, as the inferior females and fenime males stand next to the belt, hoping they don't miss their bag, once your eyes have made contact with your baggage, you stroll ( NOT WALK, NOT RUN, NOT SPRINT - STROLL, THIS IS VITAL ) towards the bag, meeting it perfectly, casually brushing people aside informing them that your bag is near, once you've come in touching distance of your baggage, use a SINGLE hand, ( Less fingers you use - the better ( 1 finger = god. )) Collect your bag, and walk away leaving the inferior people in shock and awe of your awesomeness

Thanks.

You can buy this guide at any popular store.

 

[russell]

Friends who cant really fit you into their lives anymore. Sad more than annoying I suppose.

 

[old.user4556]

Friends who cant really fit you into their lives anymore. Sad more than annoying I suppose.

For what reasons though? Kids? Other friends? Sex maniacs?

 

[Gwadien]

For what reasons though? Kids? Other friends? Sex maniacs?

Friendship can be selfish, I guess, you both need each other in a friendship - but then when one choses to live a new life and move away from the friendship, the other still has the old friendship feeling, same in all cases, really.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Meh, most times i don't get contacted by friends...buds...aquitances, they expect me to call them etc. Then they wonder "why haven't you contacted me in ages".

Pick the phone the f*ck up.

 

[Lamp]

paper cuts

 

[megadave]

sperm

 

[TdC]

getting sperm in your paper cuts

 

[Aoami]

paper cut sperm in your pretend to like shoes

 

[Zarjazz]

Finding coffee granules in the sugar jar!

Don't these people know it sugar first then coffee ?!

 

[caLLous]

But then you get sugar in the coffee jar. The only way is to have a separate spoon just for dispensing sugar which lives in the sugar bowl/jar.

You take a spoonful of coffee from the coffee jar with a clean spoon, add the sugar with the sugar spoon and add water and milk. This way it doesn't matter, there can be no cross-contamination of coffee and sugar!

 

[Billargh]

Speed bumps.

 

[Lamp]

Kate Winslet.

 

[old.user4556]

Going to the vending machine at the other side of the building with nothing but the exact change, putting your money in your machine but the last coin slips out your fingers, goes under the machine and leaving you 5p short.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

 

[Lamp]

This really gets my goat: mothers with children on the back seat or the front basket cycling along a busy road. I saw a woman today cycling down Euston Rd (one of the busiest & dangerous roads in London) with one kid on the back seat and one in the front basket. How fucking irresponsible can you get?

 

[CorNokZ]

How about you make room for cyclists so they dont have to ride along the road? Less polution, less trafic and better for your wallet

Top Gear even showed that it is faster to get around London on a bike than it is to take the car

 

[Raven]

Fuck cyclists, fuck them in the ear.