SPAM random annoying things

[Deebs]

Fat fucking bitches.

Got on train tonight, sat in the aisle seat (2 seater). Started reading Kindle and the train slowly filled up. Then a coat covers my face as this woman throws her paper across me to the seat next to me before anyone else can get there. Here we go... (Now I know I have a pot belly and a massive nose but they only protrude forward)

Then this fat fucking bitch (owner of paper and coat) shoehorns herself into the seat pushing me out of mine.

Me: "Excuse do you mind not doing that?"
Her: "Do you really need to take up one and a half seats?"
Me (In a loud and fucked off voice): "Actually I am halfway out of my seat and I would suggest you take a look at yourself first as you are clearly bigger than me and need to lose some weight"
Her: Nothing.

Most of the people in the carriage turned and looked at me and had a chuckle. I am sorry but she brought it upon herself.

Fucking fat fucking bitch. I was gonna say to her as I got off the train to "Get yourself weighed, measured up and lay off the pies as you have clearly eaten enough". I behaved.

 

[Scouse]

I behaved.

You failed.

A bit of truth is probably what she needed

 

[Deebs]

You failed.

A bit of truth is probably what she needed

Well I did tell her she needed to lose the weight. Thing is the bitch gets off at Ash Vale (she was glaring at me whilst I waited for the doors to open) so I am sure I will get another opportunity.

 

[Punishment]

You can say everything with one look, no need to embarrass anyone, glare, look her up and down and sniff

Don't do it in the wrong order or you may find yourself legally married to her

 

[TdC]

ungrateful cuntox. what a nerve... after a woman practically throws herself at you

 

[ileks]

Football streams that keep stopping. FUUUUU

 

[old.Tohtori]

Deebs it was a bit rude to throw the lose weight in there, but that being said it was also deserved. Let's say understandably rude

 

[Deebs]

Deebs it was a bit rude to throw the lose weight in there, but that being said it was also deserved. Let's say understandably rude

Did you not read? She started it by implying I was fat by taking up 1.5 seats when in reality I am quite a skinny cunt.

 

[Raven]

She meant the seat in front

 

[dysfunction]

Your nose may have taken up some of her seat.

 

[Deebs]

She meant the seat in front

I was looking forward at the time

Your nose may have taken up some of her seat.

The empty seat was to my left, see above ^

 

[old.Tohtori]

Did you not read? She started it by implying I was fat by taking up 1.5 seats when in reality I am quite a skinny cunt.

Yeah i read it, just meant that the comment "you need to lose weight" was understandably rude, considering her faulty judgement

Not judging you

 

[rynnor]

Realistically lots of seats are not really wide enough - even skinny buggers in winter coats overlap a seat width - its just poor design.

On the local rolling stock theres one pair of seats closest to the doors where theres a bulge reducing the width of the window seat so that only a small child could actually sit on it without overlap.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Poor design, or would you rather have half a seat then wait extra time / stand the whole trip because they couldn't fit supercumfyarsewarmers for all?

 

[DaGaffer]

Poor design, or would you rather have half a seat then wait extra time / stand the whole trip because they couldn't fit supercumfyarsewarmers for all?

Since anyone getting on after stop number one or two ends up standing anyway; seats for humans for the rare occasion when you get a seat would actually be preferable thanks

 

[rynnor]

Since anyone getting on after stop number one or two ends up standing anyway; seats for humans for the rare occasion when you get a seat would actually be preferable thanks

Exactly - some of the current seating is pointless - the 3seat + 2seat rolling stock is really awful - theres enough room on the 3 seats for about 2.3 people so when it fills out the last poor sod is basically balancing on the edge.

Next theres nowhere currently for large luggage so people either block off 2 seats with a suitcase or dump it in the entranceway and part block that - clearly train manufacturers are unaware of suitcases as yet

 

[Raven]

Whenever I am forced into using public transport the trains are usually empty, though the times I have had to use them in London it has been a nightmarish experience, I pity those that have to put up with it. I used to travel across London twice a week 10-15 years ago and the trains looked like they were out of a WW2 film.

 

[Chilly]

Went to a venue with mixed gender toilets last night, what the fuck, women are strange creatures. I hope i never have to see that again.

Fabric is like that. All stalls tho so it doesnt really matter.

 

[CorNokZ]

My brother going to Afghanistan for the third time tomorrow

 

[Raven]

Does if you are dropping the kids off at the pool.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Fabric is like that. All stalls tho so it doesnt really matter.

There's nothing like going to those toilets fucked out your face for the first time and being confused at seeing women everywhere and wondering why the taps aren't working. Messy.

 

[Chilly]

There's nothing like going to those toilets fucked out your face for the first time and being confused at seeing women everywhere and wondering why the taps aren't working. Messy.

Yeah, took me a while to figure it out. Ended up doing a massive tour of the club trying to find the gents, then gave up and decided it was fine.

 

[Gwadien]

Someone showed emotion on the Underground? - surely not.

 

[Edmond]

My brother going to Afghanistan for the third time tomorrow

Hope he gets on ok

 

[Edmond]

Did you not read? I am quite a cunt.

Fixed that for you.....

Your welcome

 

[TdC]

My brother going to Afghanistan for the third time tomorrow

get him to send you some opium

 

[CorNokZ]

Hope he gets on ok

He can't wait to go. It is weird this time around, because I have this false sense of security that he'll be fine. The two other times and the first time he went to Kosovo I was beside myself for a month up to the date of him leaving. But this time it is seems like a pad on the back and "I will see you in six months, be safe!" and everything will be just fine.. Sorta worries me

 

[Deebs]

Fixed that for you.....

Your welcome

Did you mean You're welcome ?

 

[Edmond]

Did you mean You're welcome ?

No

 

[old.Tohtori]

People who don't keep their skype on at work, just for situations when i'm puking my guts out at home and need something done.