SPAM random annoying things

[Edmond]

[middle class problems] Selfish bitch Au Pairs who decide they're going to fuck off back to Spain on Friday "because they miss their boyfriend" when the missus has a database exam the following Tuesday. Particularly annoying as she was going back to Spain on the Wednesday anyway for Christmas and changed her ticket just because she is a completely thoughtless cow. My toddler hated her anyway. Bitch. [/middle class problems]

Hmmm.....i dont know, but i dont think your gonna get a lot of sympathy with that problem round these parts

Just a hunch

 

[Raven]

You fucked her yet?

 

[TdC]

it was me she misses. also, Ive been over and have shagged her in every room, on every surface and in every possible position while you were away. Nice carpets btw.

 

[DaGaffer]

it was me she misses. also, Ive been over and have shagged her in every room, on every surface and in every possible position while you were away. Nice carpets btw.

Hope you enjoyed it. Personally the only way she'd get "fucked" by me would be upside the head with a piece of 2x4

 

[Poag]

People on twitter who fail to understand the difference in using the @ instead of the # in a tweet. I don't give a shit that you heard an icecream van playing Jingle Bells or that you're getting in the christmas spirit

Holy crap i get this all the time.

Apparently there is some middle east Peace group with the acronym of POAG. Every now and then i get "Great talking at the Poag conference!"

Hope you enjoyed it. Personally the only way she'd get "fucked" by me would be upside the head with a piece of 2x4

Can we get a +Middleclass 'like' button just for DaGaf? A tea cup on a saucer for example

 

[old.Tohtori]

We need pictures of this so called au pair to evaluate the b*tchlevel.

With a FH post-it preferably.

 

[TdC]

Hope you enjoyed it. Personally the only way she'd get "fucked" by me would be upside the head with a piece of 2x4

I'm available to vet them for you before they are engaged at your home. I'm just happy to help, really.

 

[DaGaffer]

I'm available to vet them for you before they are engaged at your home. I'm just happy to help, really.

I appreciate the help, sincerely, I do, but I've generally found vetting by "swaffling, followed by heavy fapping", leads to poor decision making. And court cases.

 

[TdC]

I don't understand how "She made me spooge so much I thought I was going to wake up in hospital" as a paper reference by me can lead to anything but an awesome future

 

[Gwadien]

[middle class problems] Selfish bitch Au Pairs who decide they're going to fuck off back to Spain on Friday "because they miss their boyfriend" when the missus has a database exam the following Tuesday. Particularly annoying as she was going back to Spain on the Wednesday anyway for Christmas and changed her ticket just because she is a completely thoughtless cow. My toddler hated her anyway. Bitch. [/middle class problems]

 

[MYstIC G]

Hmmm.....i dont know, but i dont think your gonna get a lot of sympathy with that problem round these parts

Just a hunch

He's not, everyone knows the meme is [first world problems] ffs

 

[DaGaffer]

He's not, everyone knows the meme is [first world problems] ffs

New meme for a new year, no-one has the money to worry about the developing world anymore.. Now bugger off before I beat you to death with a stale focaccia loaf.

 

[Raven]

Yammer spam mail

No I don't want to join. Off you fuck.

 

[MYstIC G]

iTunes 11 not being able to maximise properly.

 

[Edmond]

iTunes 11 not being able to maximise properly.

Its shit, i want to re install 10

 

[Deebs]

Getting off the train and nearly slipping up on the platform due to being -1.5 (+ freezing fog) and the cunts not putting down salt.

 

[soze]

Getting off the train and nearly slipping up on the platform due to being -1.5 (+ freezing fog) and the cunts not putting down salt.

My parents both work on the railway and have been salting the platform every hour today round here Health and Safety is insane. If the mob near you can't be bothered they are begging for a trip and fall law suite.

 

[old.user4556]

My girlfriend when she's ill.

WHOLE WORLD: STOP. BOW TO MY THEATRICAL ILLNESS, FETCH ME CUPS OF TEA, DO AS I SAY, RUN THY BATH, MASSAGE THY FEAT, PUT ON ALL MY SHITE TV SHOWS BECAUSE I AM ILL AND IT IS MY PREROGATIVE THAT I GET MY OWN WAY ON EVERY-FUCKING-LITTLE-THING.

 

[DaGaffer]

My girlfriend when she's ill.

WHOLE WORLD: STOP. BOW TO MY THEATRICAL ILLNESS, FETCH ME CUPS OF TEA, DO AS I SAY, RUN THY BATH, MASSAGE THY FEAT, PUT ON ALL MY SHITE TV SHOWS BECAUSE I AM ILL AND IT IS MY PREROGATIVE THAT I GET MY OWN WAY ON EVERY-FUCKING-LITTLE-THING.

Are you sure she's not a man?

 

[old.user4556]

iTunes 11 not being able to maximise properly.

Oh aye, iTunes 11 is infuriating.

 

[old.Tohtori]

My girlfriend when she's ill.

WHOLE WORLD: STOP. BOW TO MY THEATRICAL ILLNESS, FETCH ME CUPS OF TEA, DO AS I SAY, RUN THY BATH, MASSAGE THY FEAT, PUT ON ALL MY SHITE TV SHOWS BECAUSE I AM ILL AND IT IS MY PREROGATIVE THAT I GET MY OWN WAY ON EVERY-FUCKING-LITTLE-THING.

Then don't do it

 

[sayward]

Getting off the train and nearly slipping up on the platform due to being -1.5 (+ freezing fog) and the cunts not putting down salt.

Know someone who did that today , fell and broke her wrist, last i heard she was in surgery! In London but don't know whether it was at the station.

 

[TdC]

Deebs is basically a human tri-pod though. it's almost impossible for him to fall over once he's safely 3-point secured foot-nose-foot

 

[sayward]

Deebs is basically a human tri-pod though. it's almost impossible for him to fall over once he's safely 3-point secured foot-nose-foot

His nose? Can't be just me that queries that one after all the conversations on here!

 

[sayward]

I get so sick of going to buy painkillers and having to go thro the third degree!
Have you had them before?
Of course not I thought I'd buy them on a whim!
What are they for?
Mind your own bloody business! You're not my Doctor and I shouldn't have to divulge personal information to a shop assisstant in front of a growing queue of people! Aaargh!

 

[TdC]

his nose is the largest thing attached to his body. everybody knows that.

 

[old.user4556]

No more nose jokes.

Deebs gets nasaly offended about it.

 

[sayward]

his nose is the largest thing attached to his body. everybody knows that.

Really?

 

[CorNokZ]

Then don't do it

uhh bad call there mate... It is like taking food/candy away from them when they have their period. What an earful I got the first(and only!!) time I did that! Holy shit!

 

[Deebs]

Fuck me, what a bunch of xxxxx, every girl that nose me nose that my nose is not the biggest thing....