P.j.o.t.d.

[xane]

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, an hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?

"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch"?

"A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well...", said the pirate, "...it was my first day with the hook."


Okay, its an oldie but it kicks of the theme of the thread

 

[Ch3tan]

Shivers xane's timbers.

oh wait....

/me gets his coat.


edit.

 

[~Mobius~]

Originally posted by Ch3tan

Nice one.

 

[Testin da Cable]

Originally posted by Ch3tan

that's a nice one indeed

 

[Tom]

Yarrr, t'was long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves!

A pirate captain and his filthy crew were in danger of being overcome by those rotten English! As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" Sure enough, the scurvy dog retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the English boarding party.

Yarr, t'were many limbs hacked off, and many a sailer drowned, but the English were repelled. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "Idiot! If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."

The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were more ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way.

The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, was silent, but his parrot bellowed, "Bring his his brown pants!"

 

[GDW]

yAAAARRR.....she was only the pirate capins dawter ya hear, by't her naval base was always full o' seamen .....AAAARRR!!11

 

[Testin da Cable]

:uhoh: maljonic would be proud


ARRR!!!

 

[John Travolta]

I'm new here. Whats with all the pirates?

 

[GDW]

We bees pirates ya hear, pirates, ye scurvy dawg

 

[Testin da Cable]

it be pirate day soon ye biddy swab!! ARRR!! avast, read the thread about it

 

[gremlin]

Originally posted by John Travolta
I'm new here. Whats with all the pirates?

Ignore tdc, it's like this all the time. We're thinking of having a non-pirate day soon though.

Yarr.

 

[Testin da Cable]

ARRR tis me old nemisis Cap'in Gremlin, of the Lame Gull!!! have at thee!! ARRR me hearties break out the cannon!1! death this day shall bring!!1

 

[gremlin]

Originally posted by Testin da Cable
ARRR tis me old nemisis Cap'in Gremlin, of the Lame Gull!!!

Tis a sturdy ship ya scurvy landlubber!

 

[Ch3tan]

Yaaar a pirates life t'be sure. Pillaging an lootin on the gran ole lady BW.

 

[xane]

Originally posted by Ch3tan

n1.

However, remember that episode in Blackadder II where everyone celebrates Sir Walter Raleigh's homecoming by wearing silly hats and Edmund refuses to take part ...

Sourpuss, grumpyface ...

/me picks up bow and arrow ...

 

[Tom]

You have a woman's hand, melord!

 

[Ch3tan]

Originally posted by xane
n1.

However, remember that episode in Blackadder II where everyone celebrates Sir Walter Raleigh's homecoming by wearing silly hats and Edmund refuses to take part ...

Sourpuss, grumpyface ...

/me picks up bow and arrow ...

Surely this scurvy varmit is a spy from the English! yaaar, I'd wager my good hook that its the Admiral imself. guaarh

Get im you dirty rippers! Yaaaarrrr

 

[gremlin]

Pirate Name thingy.

 

[GDW]

Originally posted by Testin da Cable
:uhoh: maljonic would be proud


ARRR!!!

ARRR avst maljonic has gone over dem thar animuls

 

[gremlin]

Last pirate post of the day..

One for those of us old enough to remember Elite

 

[pcg79]

YAARRRR I BE
Black Jack Rackham



Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!