O
O
old.Dillinja
Guest
- Thread starter
- #2
Where's the part where he shoots it? :\
R
razorboy
Guest
- Thread starter
- #3
R
Roo Stercogburn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #4
Kitten "I SWEAR, the mouse was THIS big..."
Roo "I don't care, you're still my next kebab."
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA(TM)
Roo "I don't care, you're still my next kebab."
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA(TM)
K
kinag
Guest
- Thread starter
- #5
suddenly I got an urge to kick your ass..
sorry, have 3 kittens myself and kicked my neighbours ass when he sendt his dog on one of them :> and he was 10 years older than me
O
old.Tohtori
Guest
- Thread starter
- #6
3 kittens?! Kittystew for eeeeveryone!
K
kinag
Guest
- Thread starter
- #7
when did seels start to eat kittens? Oo
O
old.Tohtori
Guest
- Thread starter
- #8
Yesterday, just before teatime and after a very exhausting soccermatch.
K
kinag
Guest
- Thread starter
- #9
teh seel, teh barbarian....
R
Roo Stercogburn
Guest
- Thread starter
- #10
Kin, don't think you're going to find much kitty love on this thread
K
kinag
Guest
- Thread starter
- #11
not trying to, but dont see what you dont like about kittens..
and absoloutly no point in saying kitten stue or how its spelled
and absoloutly no point in saying kitten stue or how its spelled
O
old.Tohtori
Guest
- Thread starter
- #12
I like kittens for fucks sake!
Especially with sake
Especially with sake
O
old.Dillinja
Guest
- Thread starter
- #13
Football ffs.
O
old.Tohtori
Guest
- Thread starter
- #14
Aaaall the same to me
It's a sport with a ball and people running on grass or marshmallows. You still got it!
EDIT: I -think- it has a ball...might be a kitten.
A
Annouk
Guest
- Thread starter
- #15
meat eating i can handle Tohtori but leave the cute ickle kittens alone
O
old.Tohtori
Guest
- Thread starter
- #16
But...but... i have a whole patch of bonsai kittens growing in my backyard! What am i supposed to do with those? And what am i gonna do with this marinada sauce i made just for the occasion? Bah! Everyones a food critic!
A
Annouk
Guest
- Thread starter
- #17
sell the bonsai kitties and make a fortune!!!
O
old.Tohtori
Guest
- Thread starter
- #18
And get a few fucking liberals banging on my door like it was a runaway model from cucci and saying hwo i can be so cruel to animals? No fucking way. I'll pour some gas and shit in the bottles and use them as Molotov's Bonsai Kittens and throw them across the street into the kindergarden! Muahaha!
And then...when the kids are running around with burning kittens stuck t their asses i'll phone the animal protection association and tell them that a satanic cult is testing animal behavior in extreme conditions across the street!! *rolls on the floor laughing his ass off*
Oh..oh! And when the animal protetion people come around i'll call the child abuse center and tell them that the animal protection people are sticking burning kittens to the kids to teach them a fucking lesson!!!
And then...when the kids are running around with burning kittens stuck t their asses i'll phone the animal protection association and tell them that a satanic cult is testing animal behavior in extreme conditions across the street!! *rolls on the floor laughing his ass off*
Oh..oh! And when the animal protetion people come around i'll call the child abuse center and tell them that the animal protection people are sticking burning kittens to the kids to teach them a fucking lesson!!!
C
Cyradix
Guest
- Thread starter
- #19
This reminds me of the washing the cat tutorial :
How to Wash Your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog .... do get dirty and have a variety of odors... from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember... your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.
So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you .... you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.
First .... dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.
A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.
Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No ... blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.
Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire... the cat barely notices you anyway.
Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom .... speed is essential. In one single liquid motion .shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.
As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.
During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.
Next, the cat must be dried. No...this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat . reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.
If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.
Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door .... put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.
In about 2 hours .... it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.
How to Wash Your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog .... do get dirty and have a variety of odors... from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember... your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.
So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you .... you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.
First .... dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.
A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.
Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No ... blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.
Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire... the cat barely notices you anyway.
Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom .... speed is essential. In one single liquid motion .shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.
As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.
During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.
Next, the cat must be dried. No...this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat . reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.
If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.
Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door .... put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.
In about 2 hours .... it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.
A
Annouk
Guest
- Thread starter
- #20
starting to worry bout u now.... :scared: :touch:
O
old.Tohtori
Guest
- Thread starter
- #21
Oh i haven't even started yet!
J
Jonaldo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #22
btw
pic = Old!
pic = Old!
C
Cap'n Sissyfoo
Guest
- Thread starter
- #23
Originally posted by Cyradix
This reminds me of the washing the cat tutorial :
How to Wash Your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog .... do get dirty and have a variety of odors... from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember... your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.
So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you .... you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.
First .... dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.
A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.
Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No ... blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.
Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire... the cat barely notices you anyway.
Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom .... speed is essential. In one single liquid motion .shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.
As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.
During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.
Next, the cat must be dried. No...this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat . reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.
If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.
Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door .... put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.
In about 2 hours .... it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.
Ha ha!
Classic...and sadly kinda true. :s
R
razorboy
Guest
- Thread starter
- #24
So true, and I almost fell off my chair laughing from reading the whole story
I remember the days that I had to get my cat to the vet and he would scratch my hands and face open if I didnt wear protecting gloves to hold him