joke

[Hargh]

Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and Lady Di arrive at the Pearly gates of Heaven.

St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they each have to put forward their case for entry.

Freddie says "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful music in the world.
I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs,making heaven a far happier place to be".
"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you


Gianni?"Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I'll completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the cherubs to the choirboys.

As you well know Pete if you look good you will feel good and that will make heaven a much happier place".

"Not bad" says St Peter.

"What about you Di?"

Diana doesn't say a word. Instead she lifts up her skirt and pulls down her kni*kers, inserts a full bottle of evian water into her private parts, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gushes out all over the floor.

"Excellent, you're in" says St Peter.

"Hold on a f**king minute" says Freddie "She didn't even say anything".

"B*llocks, Fred you know the rules" says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a pair of Queens...."

 

[Belsameth]

I thought you said there was a joke?
I didn't even have to smile

 

[inuyasha]

haha?

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

I felt the corners of my mouth twitching.

 

[Belsameth]

my god, Sicko...will you ever recover?

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

I am fighting it.

 

[Spinky]

Two guys Walk into a bar


...


The third one ducked






yada old etc

 

[Danya]

Was good the first time Spinky, but lost it a bit by the fifth telling.

 

[Jonaldo]

Two Irishmen sat on the floor, one fell off.

old

 

[The Fonz]

Two french men are sat down having tea.

The first french man says to the second, "Hey, ever thought about shagging your wife in the erm....other hole"?

The second french man looks shocked at this and shouts out, "The other hole? Are you crazy? I don't want to get her pregnant"!!

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

Hehehe, Fonz... I actually laughed.

 

[The Fonz]

That's why I'm here.

 

[Danya]

Fonz = winnar-man!

 

[Addlcove]

heard it with truckers instead fonz, still fun though

 

[Sharma]

That didnt bring a smile to my face unfortunately :\

 

[inuyasha]

now laugh =)

http://cagle.slate.msn.com/news/Bagdad_Falls/BagdadFalls/stahler.gif

http://cagle.slate.msn.com/news/Statue/Statue/cole.jpg

at least i did =)

 

[old.Tohtori]

A joke hmm?

Here goes.

This is kinda an old one but still.

*ahem*

Right Now.

*bows*

 

[Arnor]

Originally posted by Uncle Sick(tm)
I felt the corners of my mouth twitching.

same

 

[osy]

Puppy

One day, a father and his son were walking in the woods
on their way home when suddenly they came upon two dogs
mating in the brush. "What are they doing, Dad?" asked
the small child, staring intently at the scene before
them. "They, um, they're making a puppy" said the boy's
father, as he grabbed his coat and moved him along quickly.
A few nights later, the little boy woke up and got up
from his bed to go to the bathroom. As he walked by
his parents' room, he heard strange noises coming from
within. He opened the door and was surprised to see
his father on top of his mother, moving in a strange
way. His father looked up and saw his son - instantly,
both mother and father froze. As the boy's mother grabbed
for the sheets to cover herself up, the father got up
and hustled his son out of the bedroom. "What were you
doing to Mom, Dad?" asked the little boy, who still
wasn't sure what he saw. "Your mother and I were, well,
we were, ah, trying to make a baby - you know, maybe
a brother or sister for you" said the boy's father,
now confident that this would satisfy his son's curiosity.
"Oh" said the little boy, thinking hard for a minute.
"Y'know Dad, when you go back to bed with mom, turn
her over, please - I'd rather have a puppy".

 

[tris-]

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

Originally posted by n3wbie

<- *laughs*

 

[old.job]

Old, old , old joke, but it's a smirker.



My stupid brother threw a stone at a Dwarf with learning difficulties..................



I told him ,it wasn't big and it wasn't clever.

 

[old.Dillinja]

Originally posted by old.job
Old, old , old joke, but it's a smirker.



My stupid brother threw a stone at a Dwarf with learning difficulties..................



I told him ,it wasn't big and it wasn't clever.

Quite a few variations of this one.

Never buy a dwarf with learning difficulties, it's not big and it's not clever.

 

[gengi]

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the
urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of
business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a
leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him
out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." The man
asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK." Then the man says, "Can
you pull it out for me?" Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and
it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles,
scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it
for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and
zips it up. The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." Bob
says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"

The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I
ain't touching it.

Later

Gengee

 

[old.Tohtori]

Todays headlines on the dwarf prison escape:

SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

 

[[PS]Riddler]

*cough*..

 

[BrassMonkey]

British Government finds Dwarves in short supply.....





...i'll get me coat

 

[nalistah]

lol