If this really worked, I'd have a freakin mansion and a Lexxus

[minstrel_kyra]

One time Santa Claus was out delivering presents on Christmas morning, when he came to the house of a beautiful young woman. He slid down the chimney, and there she was waiting for him in her best bathrobe.

"Merry Christmas, my dear," he said, "have you been a good girl all year?"

"I certainly have!" she replied.

So he put all her presents under the tree and said "Well, see you next year!"

"But Santa, won't you stay with me for a little while?"

"That's very sweet of you dear," said Santa Clause, "but I've got a lot of presents to deliver and I really have to be going."

"But Santa, I've been waiting for you all year..."

"Oh no, no, no," said Santa Clause, "there's lot's to be done by morning, and what would Mrs. Clause say?"

"But Santa," she said as she opened her robe, "just this once?"

Santa's eyes widen. "Oh all right," Santa said, "I'll never make it back up the chimney now anyway."

 

[old.LandShark]

Dare I ask if you tried and it doesn't work? :E

 

[minstrel_kyra]

Oh no of course not, what sort of woman do you think I am?

Okay maybe a couple of times, but I knew it was the hubby and not really Santa under that suit! lol

 

[Delket]

hah, twas me all along kyra!

 

[old.Gombur Glodson]

 

[Tenko]

A SAD TALE

It was the night before Christmas and one man was very, very sad.

So sad that, he decided to jump from the roof of a tall building.

Just before he jumped, he looked down and saw Father Christmas.

"OH MY GRACIOUS ME!" Shouted Santa. "What are you doing?!"

Boohoo sobbed the man, "my life is so sad, i think i'm gonna end it now. My wife has left me for another man, I owe thousands of pounds to the bank and I've been sacked from my job!"

So old St. Nick said "Wait there lad, if you do me one little favour I'll give you 3 gifts. Ok?"

"Ok" said the man.

"A DEAL! 1st, when you get up in the morning" he said "You will find your wife in bed in her sexiest lingerie, desperate to make love to you, her new boyfriend completely forgotten. 2nd, if you check your bank balance, all your debts will be cleared and you'll be thousands of pounds in the black and finally if you go back to work you'll have a new office, a pay rise and they'll never remember sacking you."

"WOW!" said the man "and what do you want?"

"Well...... could you turn around,drop your pants and bend over, if you know what I mean" said Santa with a wink

"Fair's fair" said the bloke who dropped his pants and proceeded to get a right thorough rogering.

"Hohoho" said santa afterwards "How old are you young man?"

"I'm 28" he said "why?"




"Oh nothing, just thought your a little old to be believing in Santa Claus"...




...said the 60 year old, gay bloke on his way to the xmas party

 

[old.tRoG]

Re: A SAD TALE

Originally posted by Tenko
<Very old joke goes here>

What a very old joke.

 

[Tenko]

hehe! Dont know many xmas jokes

Best get the mods in, needs moving to the British Museum

 

[BubbleCDR]

lol

 

[Addlcove]

sat Tenko's as a carton strip but with a young lady and a blowjob, bit more amusing I think