I aer teh murdererer

T

Tom

Guest
I was driving to work this Sunday, roaring down some dual carriageway near Swindon (I don't live there btw), at around about 8 this morning. Everything was peaceful in the car, the radio was off, and I was thinking about the tasks ahead of me. Quite suddenly, a little bird flew from the left side of the road, and darted out in front of me. Now normally these little scamps just dance around for a second or so, and then fly off harmlessly. Unfortunately, this one must have been on a dare or something. It saw me, and turned west, which unfortunately for him, just happened to be the same direction that I was travelling. Now the problem here (as I'm sure you've guessed by now), was that my car was doing about 90mph, while birdy was doing around 15-20mph. I screamed and gesticulated wildly, my foot began to lower the pressure on the accelerator pedal, but alas, it was all in vain. In slow motion, the little fella disappeared underneath my car, I heard a surprisingly loud bump (and I felt it too), and as quickly as it had begun, everything was peaceful once more. My car radio echoed my thoughts, silent, as I looked into my rear view mirror, and saw my little feathered daredevil bouncing wildly across the carriageway, its once-beautiful plume of grey feathers scattering in the vacuum left by my speeding vehicle. There was no blood, just an empty space, once occupied by such a lovely little creature.

Anyway, I felt so sad, I didn't turn the radio on for the rest of the journey, and honestly, I spent at least 20 minutes contemplating what I had just seen. If I was religious, I think I'd have stopped at the roadside, and said a little prayer.

I think I should have done just that, because on the way back home, travelling at a similar speed, another of the little beggars had the misfortune to fly out from the bushes and whack straight into my windscreen, immediately followed by a hare that jumped out of the way with seconds to spare. I think, I hope, the second bird survived unscathed. God only knows how many insects I've killed tonight.

All in all, a strange day.
 
E

ECA

Guest
hmm?

You mourn some roadkill, yet I bet you dont feel sorry for all the animals you've had killed for food over the years.


Kill the butterflies to save the spiders.
 
D

danger

Guest
Originally posted by Tom.
blah blah *SQUISH* blah blah *BOO HOO*
Click to expand...

Your dangerous driving killed that poor bird... you were 20mph over the speed limit :eek: That's what happens kiddies when you break the law.
 
C

Cdr

Guest
hehe

I had an episode like that.

Except it was the car infront that hit the bird, and as it rolled under his car, my windscreen was splattered with blood.

Was ever-so cool.

However, not as cool as this small vid -

http://www.fhm.com/hardware/crashes/go/3.mpg

mmmmmmm messy :D
 
A

amobea

Guest
MURDERER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

SOMEBODY ARREST HIM!@!@!@$!#$^!#$&127789



:p
 
D

Dodgy Geeza

Guest
Originally posted by Cdr
hehe

I had an episode like that.

Except it was the car infront that hit the bird, and as it rolled under his car, my windscreen was splattered with blood.

Was ever-so cool.

However, not as cool as this small vid -

http://www.fhm.com/hardware/crashes/go/3.mpg

mmmmmmm messy :D
Click to expand...

That vid is kewl...

And Tom, don't feel guilty - it wasn't your fault...
the silly bird probably had personal irl issues and had enough of it all =)
 
E

evilmonkeh

Guest
once we were driving along and hit a bird, and thought "ah well its gone" then when we got home i looked at the bonnet and the bird had got wedged onto the front of the car!
 
J

Jonny_Darko

Guest
I had to kill a group of baby meece that were infesting in a bedsit I lived in a couple of years ago. It tooks me weeks to recover from the trauma. They were sooooo sweet.
 
X

Xtro

Guest
Originally posted by ECA

You mourn some roadkill, yet I bet you dont feel sorry for all the animals you've had killed for food over the years.
Click to expand...

Would you like a Polo?
 
D

dysfunction

Guest
I nearly drove over a cat once. It was sitting on the side of the road and when I got about 2 meters from it it decided it would dart across the road! :eek:

Luckily with my superb reflexes and the fact that I was driving slowly I managed to swerve around the stupid animal.

I was amazed I didnt hit it.
 
T

The-Don

Guest
Originally posted by Jonny_Darko
I had to kill a group of baby meece that were infesting in a bedsit I lived in a couple of years ago. It tooks me weeks to recover from the trauma. They were sooooo sweet.
Click to expand...

meece? wtf? google came up with this...

meece.jpg


disturbing :(
 
G

GDW

Guest
You dont need to be traveling that fast to kill something so small. A couple of years ago I was driving through a residential area at about 30mph, when this huge ginger tom cat bolted out from a hedge on my left hand side across the front of my car. It all happened so fast I didnt have time to brake in time and ran straight over it.

It must have lay twitching and convulsing in agony for a good couple of minutes before the poor thing left for cat heaven.
 
L

~Lazarus~

Guest
had a couple of experiences with birds (the feathered variety).

Was overtaking a van on a single carriegeway (doing about 60). I noticed, just as I pulled out to overtake) a crow flying in from the left hand side, crossing the front of the van. How it missed getting hit by the van, ill never know. However, as it was saying its prayers to the Bird God, it must have crapped itself when It saw me overtaking.

Smacked right into the front of the car.

Another time, was driving round the Orkneys, heading for the ferry and pushing it a bit. Swept round a bend where there were 4 pigeons sitting in the road. "No Problem" I thought - they will move. Did the feck. Hit them ALL (was like an exploding feather pillow) Wasnt till I wsa on the other island after the ferry ride, that I noticed the little bastards had smashed my number plate!
 
B

bids

Guest
A few months back I was doing about 60 down a straight country road and a cat bolted from the side. At that speed it would have been fatal for me to try and swerve so I grimaced and went straight over it. Killed it instantly, and felt really guilty for about a minute, until I heard this horrible screeching noise from the front of my car. I pulled up, and the impact had ripped off the front valance (sp?), with the fog lights dangling and some air intake device completely ripped off. £750 worth of damage the little bugger caused :(

I didn't try and find the owner or anything - I got told conflicting things on this - one bloke told me you do need to find owner/report to police, as with a dog - the other said you don't have to with cats. Dunno who's right.
 
M

mank!

Guest
Originally posted by bids
I didn't try and find the owner or anything - I got told conflicting things on this - one bloke told me you do need to find owner/report to police, as with a dog - the other said you don't have to with cats. Dunno who's right.
Click to expand...

If somebody ran over my cat, I'd rather they came and told me instead of driving off completely unremoreseful. You wouldn't do it to a child, so why to someone's pet cat?
 
B

bids

Guest
Originally posted by mank!
If somebody ran over my cat, I'd rather they came and told me instead of driving off completely unremoreseful. You wouldn't do it to a child, so why to someone's pet cat?
Click to expand...

That would have been a bit difficult as it was in the middle of a country road - and hitting a child is a bit different to killing a cat.
 
M

mank!

Guest
Originally posted by bids
That would have been a bit difficult as it was in the middle of a country road - and hitting a child is a bit different to killing a cat.
Click to expand...

County road, fair enough. If it was in the middle of a town there's absolutely no reason not to stop as far as I'm concerned. The principle is the same - people love cats, people love children.
 
G

Gumbo

Guest
You have to report hitting a dog to the police, you don't have to report hitting a cat.

However if you can find the owner I think you should make the effort, in the countryside though it's not always possible and the cat could even be feral anyway.
 
M

mank!

Guest
Re: Re: Re: I aer teh murdererer

Originally posted by Tom.
You don't brake for animals at that speed.
Click to expand...

Well, considering you shouldn't have been going 90mph anyway you should probably be glad you didn't hit something else.
 
C

Cdr

Guest
I certainly dont swerve for animals, and never will. Great, you miss the cat, but mount the pavement and wipe out an entire family or you hit an oncomming car and kill them all.

Worth it? No.

I'm not gonna put my life in danger (and other road users) just because some stupid animal decided to cross when I was comming.

Like Gumbo said, you dont have to report cats (classed as wild animals), but you do dogs - if (and when) I hit either a cat or dog, a dog I would stop and report, a cat - well thats just bad luck for moggy.

Cats are useless anyway.
 
A

adams901

Guest
so Cdr you must be a close member of the cat family then.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top Bottom