Bored, lets quote

D

doh_boy

Guest
Gef's a few pages back (jabobs ladder is on an UNLKE record)

-------------------------------------------------
Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.
- Vincent Crummles (Nicholas Nickleby - Dickins)

Tonight you dance by the light of ancient mistakes!
-Iain M Banks, Look to Windward

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

- Lord Byron
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Marty: What's with you tonight?
Rizzo: I feel like a defective typewriter.
Marty: Huh?
Rizzo: I skipped a period.
Marty: Think you're P.G.?

----------------------------------------------------
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut?
Turkish: You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut, Tommy, you!

Tyrone: I didn't see it.
Vinny: It's a two fucking ton van Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of fucking peanuts now is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck.]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. When you reverse, things come at you from behind.

Tommy: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: You'll have to say that again, I don't think I heard you?
Tommy: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: How could you lose him, he's not a set of car keys. It's not like he's incon-fucking-spicuous.

Tommy: Are you sayin' I can't shoot?
Turkish: no Tommy, I'm not saying you can't shoot, I know you can't shoot, I'm just sayin' it'd probably do him more damage if you fed it to him.
-----------------
Eddie: They're armed.
Soap: Armed, armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!

Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?
Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot.

Winston: We grow copious amounts of ganja here, and you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking-culturalist.
 
D

doh_boy

Guest
not spam honest.

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Churchill

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind...

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Never trust any complicated cocktail that remainds perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

AFPer: We've missed you, did you miss us? TP: Yes, but I think I have time to reload. :)

-- Terry returns to a.f.p. after a temporary absence. (Terry Pratchett and an AFPer, alt.fan.pratchett)

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Too many people want to have written.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)
DW is based on a slew of old myths, which reach their most 'refined' form in Hindu mythology, which in turn of course derived from the original Star Trek episode 'Planet of Wobbly Rocks where the Security Guard Got Shot'.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)
Dream on. British TV Is The Best In The World is on a par with the statement about how British Justice Is The Envy Of The World ("Hey, Miguel, how come we can't convict innocent people so quickly and expensively?")

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)
It's an old magical principle -- it's even filtered down into RPG systems -- that magic, while taking a lot of effort, can be 'stored' -- in a staff, for example. No doubt a wizard spends a little time each day charging up his staff, although you go blind if you do it too much, of course.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)
1) I have never waved a hankie in anger 2) I do not peronally know any Morris dancers 3) But Morris dancing is kind of funny and weird at the same time.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)
 
C

Cyradix

Guest
A few short ones....


- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

- Rehab Is for Quitters

- I have a degree in liberal arts - Do you want fries with that?

- Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.

- FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.

- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

- Time's fun when you're having flies...Kermit the Frog

- FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.

- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

- HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

- The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
 
B

Belsameth

Guest
Originally posted by Cyradix
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Click to expand...

on a similar note

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
The rest of the party is in the mouth of the beholder"
 
D

doh_boy

Guest
Just noticed this on the maths room wall.

If A is life achievment then

A = X + Y + z

where

x is work

y is play
and

z is keeping your mouth shut.
Click to expand...

Another one by einstein apparently :D
 
T

Tasans

Guest
Cant be bothered to go through 10 pages of spam to see if its already said so:

"Dark Age of Camelot, the game where your characters go down in effectiveness the longer you play"
 
C

Cush

Guest
Originally posted by Belsameth
on a similar note

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
The rest of the party is in the mouth of the beholder"
Click to expand...

Mabe me think of a quote

Fry (Futurmama)
"Its like a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up"
 
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