Rediknight
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 385
So, for whatever reason you end up being lined up to go into the Big Brother house, even though you hate the very idea of this zoo-tv style of programming, so what do you do?
Well, on that consideration me and a few friends once wrote up a list of stuff we could do if any of us ever got on Big Brother to make it both watchable AND amusing
Obviously i can't remember them all, but a selection of:
1. The second the last person is in and that door is locked, strip off all of your clothes and announce to the house that you are refusing to wear a single shred of clothing for the entire time you're there. Insist on wandering upto people when they're sat down, head at penis height - especially if it's a serious conversation. Join in, but don't sit down.
2. Make friends with one of the cameras. Talk to it like it's your best friend in the world. Move your bedding so that you can be near it and refuse to let anyone else touch it. If the camera starts to track someone else around the room, start to argue with it about looking at other men/women and then break up with it messily... over a period of about a month.
3. Fellate anything and everything that is even remotely phallic around the house (no, not the other housemates... unless you want to)
4. Whilst everyone else is asleep, creep around collecting their clothes, go into another room and try them all on - commando style, of course - then creep back in after you're done and quietly replace them all in the wrong drawers...
5. Teabag sour faced housemates whilst they sleep, for the amusement of the night-vision camera
6. put EVERYONES thumbs in cups of warm water whilst they sleep, then go back to bed grinning to yourself, braced for the childish wailing as they all drench their sheets...
7. Confide in a gullable housemate that you are actually employed by the government and you're hear to watch one of the other contestants - make sure your target is a shifty looking person...
8. Whenever in the diary room, speak in a bizarre code, every now and then winking knowingly and tapping the side of your nose to BB.
9. Act retarded for the first month, then wake up one morning and act completely normal. I know, i know, it's cruel and tasteless, but reactions are worth more than guilt...
10. Wear a crash helmet and full 80's skateboard pads the whole time you're there. Claim it's because you have an inner ear problem. Cement this claim by randomly running into the glass doors, throwing yourself over the table and hitting yourself in the head with random blunt objects...
So, any additions? What would you do to keep yourself amused?
Well, on that consideration me and a few friends once wrote up a list of stuff we could do if any of us ever got on Big Brother to make it both watchable AND amusing
Obviously i can't remember them all, but a selection of:
1. The second the last person is in and that door is locked, strip off all of your clothes and announce to the house that you are refusing to wear a single shred of clothing for the entire time you're there. Insist on wandering upto people when they're sat down, head at penis height - especially if it's a serious conversation. Join in, but don't sit down.
2. Make friends with one of the cameras. Talk to it like it's your best friend in the world. Move your bedding so that you can be near it and refuse to let anyone else touch it. If the camera starts to track someone else around the room, start to argue with it about looking at other men/women and then break up with it messily... over a period of about a month.
3. Fellate anything and everything that is even remotely phallic around the house (no, not the other housemates... unless you want to)
4. Whilst everyone else is asleep, creep around collecting their clothes, go into another room and try them all on - commando style, of course - then creep back in after you're done and quietly replace them all in the wrong drawers...
5. Teabag sour faced housemates whilst they sleep, for the amusement of the night-vision camera
6. put EVERYONES thumbs in cups of warm water whilst they sleep, then go back to bed grinning to yourself, braced for the childish wailing as they all drench their sheets...
7. Confide in a gullable housemate that you are actually employed by the government and you're hear to watch one of the other contestants - make sure your target is a shifty looking person...
8. Whenever in the diary room, speak in a bizarre code, every now and then winking knowingly and tapping the side of your nose to BB.
9. Act retarded for the first month, then wake up one morning and act completely normal. I know, i know, it's cruel and tasteless, but reactions are worth more than guilt...
10. Wear a crash helmet and full 80's skateboard pads the whole time you're there. Claim it's because you have an inner ear problem. Cement this claim by randomly running into the glass doors, throwing yourself over the table and hitting yourself in the head with random blunt objects...
So, any additions? What would you do to keep yourself amused?
