World War 3 is about to start - v2.0

C

cosmos

Guest
The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation
between a US Navy ship off the coast of England, and some
British authority.

The transcript was released by the MoD

BRITS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision

BRITS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to
the South to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

BRITS: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.

AMERICANS: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

BRITS: We are a lighthouse. Fuck off



I even removed all the >'s for easy reading :(
Made me laugh lots :/
 
S

Scouse

Guest
Actually a true story aswell :)

Apart from the fuck off....
 
E

Embattle

Guest
If it was then I reckon it would be kept hush hush :)
 
S

Scouse

Guest
You'll like this one too.

A friend of mine (a fireman) was working in Bosnia during the time when we were over there in force.

He walked into an American base where he was bundled to the ground by hysteric American soldiers.

"Get the fuck down" etc... "we're being shot at".

He asked where from and they pointed to a position about 3 miles away on a hill. Sure enough there were snipers there taking pot-shots.

The Americans were all really scared, hiding behind walls/bins etc.


This chap quickly left the American compound and walked literally across the street to the British one.

All our boys were sat there in chairs drinking tea and eating biscuits etc.

When enquiring why they weren't hiding from the snipers the Brit commander said what the fuck for? The bullets can't hurt anyone at this distance.

As if to accentuate the point one hit this chaps mug right on and the bullet dropped to the floor :)


Fucking yanks :) Too dim to be at war :)
 
H

haggisman

Guest
lol i read that lighthouse thing over at tribalwar.com a long time ago, except instead of brits they had canadians.
 
S

stu

Guest
wow scouse, what an incredibly interesting story. Your friend really is something - after all, he managed to ascertain the rifle that the enemy 'snipers' were using, factor in their altitude, the wind conditions, humidity, the type of round they were firing, and stand at a distance EXACTLY at the outer edge of their effective range - a distance that would be continually varying from round to round, due to factors such as those above, plus small variances in individual rounds fired etc - all from three miles or so away. Even more amazingly, the 'snipers' somehow fired with pinpoint accuracy, despite being at the outer edges of their effective range. Maybe they were equipped with the world's first intelligent bullet, that upon travelling a pre-programmed distance, suddenly falls harmlessly to the floor.

Or maybe your story was a complete load of horseshit.
 
E

Embattle

Guest
Originally posted by Stu-
wow scouse, what an incredibly interesting story. Your friend really is something - after all, he managed to ascertain the rifle that the enemy 'snipers' were using, factor in their altitude, the wind conditions, humidity, the type of round they were firing, and stand at a distance EXACTLY at the outer edge of their effective range - a distance that would be continually varying from round to round, due to factors such as those above, plus small variances in individual rounds fired etc - all from three miles or so away. Even more amazingly, the 'snipers' somehow fired with pinpoint accuracy, despite being at the outer edges of their effective range. Maybe they were equipped with the world's first intelligent bullet, that upon travelling a pre-programmed distance, suddenly falls harmlessly to the floor.

Or maybe your story was a complete load of horseshit.

:confused:
 
F

Furr

Guest
Stu- What is fucks name are you waffling about...

A. Your talking shit,
B.Your talking more shit
and
C. Why be so sarcastic for no reason, unless of course your lame.

From what i gather from the story is that all he is saying is the americans were scared of snipers.
British weren't because they had worked out that the projectile would have lost so much energy that the threat from the projectile was considered no threat.
 
X

xane

Guest
Actually, Scouse's story was related to me by a friend of my wife who actually served with the British Army in the late 1950's, it occurred in Aden as the British were pulling out of the area, there were no Americans (he was the one who hit the dirt and panicked) the story was the same apart from the dramatic bullet harmlessly hitting the mug.

In his version the sniper bullets were not making the distance, which at the time was believable as not many rifles of the pre-war vintage used by the enemy troops could get that sort of range. But by the time of Bosnia (1990 ?) I cannot believe rifles were being used that could not achieve killing power at 3 miles, even the 1960's standard British Army rifles could easily kill at that distance.

I'm not saying that the story is untrue, but it almost certainly doesn't apply to Bosnia or any up-to-date story.
 
O

old.Explosive23

Guest
Originally posted by FuROf knight
Stu- What is fucks name are you waffling about...

A. Your talking shit,
B.Your talking more shit
and
C. Why be so sarcastic for no reason, unless of course your lame.

From what i gather from the story is that all he is saying is the americans were scared of snipers.
British weren't because they had worked out that the projectile would have lost so much energy that the threat from the projectile was considered no threat.

How do you manage to get 'you're' wrong 3 times in the same post??

Lol at first post in the thread
 
O

old.ignus

Guest
well for a start a sniper doesn't always mean someone with a sniper rifle, the definition of sniper is someone who shoots from cover, therefore you could be a sniper with a pistol if you wanted.
And also an experienced soldier and a pair of binoculars could quite easliy determine the weapon type from a distance even behind cover, he could then figure out the types of ammunition available to that weapon and know whether they were in danger or not.

The only thing that make the story unbelievable is that fact that the soldiers didn't take out a sniper rifle of their own and waste the buggers.
 
S

Scouse

Guest
Well - just to piss on everyone's bonfire.

The story's true.

The lad works for Siemens down in Southampton - showed me the photos of both bases, the hills, the ladz and the bullet that hit the mug (together with the mug).


This was after I said he was talking shit.


Now - neither he nor I are qualified to guess at what type of guns these "snipers" were using.

And yes - the main point was to show that the yanks were running about making arses of themselves whilst the better trained Brit forces didn't really give a shit.


It may have parallels with other stories, but is unique in itself. Shit like that is bound to happen with the millions of soldiers all over the world.

Plus. I don't give a sh1t about what Stu thinks :D
 
M

Moving Target

Guest
Originally posted by Explosive23


How do you manage to get 'you're' wrong 3 times in the same post??

I doubt he would type 'Your' and then 'You're' and not notice it.
 
L

L_Plates

Guest
Originally posted by Scouse
Actually a true story aswell :)

Apart from the fuck off....

Yep it was indeed a true story :D
 
S

Stazbumpa

Guest
I believe the actual line was:

"We are a lighthouse, its your call"




My fave is:

American General on the battlements of Fort Whatever trying to encourage his men during the US Civil War.
The enemy are attacking the Fort to which the General announces:
"Don't worry men, they couldn't hit an Elephant from this dist......"
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom