Vladamir
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2003
- Messages
- 15,105
>1 -Within 1 minute of kick off in the opening match (Germany v Costa
>Rica), the commentator must mention England.
>
>2 - Regardless of what two teams are contesting the final, England have
>to be mentioned within the first minute.
>
>3 - The commentator shall refer to the Falkland Isles in passing at
>some point in the match if England play Argentina.
>
>4 - Whenever a hat trick is scored, comparisons with Geoff Hurst will
>be made within seconds of the third goal hitting the net.
>
>5 - Should England wear their red jerseys, then '1966' should be
>mentioned approximately 20 times.
>
>6 - 1966 will be mentioned approximately 10 times a match, or only on 4
>or 5 occasions for matches not involving England.
>
>7 - Prior to the captain of the winning team lifting the trophy, the
>commentator will mention Bobby Moore. And 1966.
>
>8 - When Germany are playing, they must be referred to as being
>arrogant by the commentator on at least 14 occasions.
>This must refer to their style, their passing, their haircuts and their
>general footballing ability.
>
>9 - Should England play Germany, mentions of Winston Churchill,
>Dambusters, The Luftwaffe and Adolf Hitler will be compulsory. And
>1966.
>
>10 - All Scottish members of our commentary team must continue to refer
>to England as "we" and "us".
>
>11 - We must ensure that nationlistic stereotypes are adhered to. Of
>course, the Germans are arrogant. The Spanish are bottlers, The Ivory
>Coast are fast but bad at defending, The Angolans are disorganised,
>The Argentinians are cheats and the French are only good because their
>best players play in England.
>
>12 - For matches not involving England, we must only discuss the
>players that are playing in England. (eg - Holland v Argentina should
>be referred to as Van Nistelroy v Crespo).
>
>13 - The mythical "bulldog spirit" phrase should be used as often as
>possible.
>
>14 - Each match involving England should begin with the phrase "England
>Expects."
>
>15 - Should any player be involved in an injury that involves the loss
>of teeth, then references to Nobby Stiles and 1966 are compulsory.
>
>16 - If in doubt, mention 1966.
>
>17 - Praise all of the stunning new stadiums in Germany but emphasise
>that they lack the presence of Wembley, the spiritual home of football
>since 1966.
>
>18 - Commentators should feel free to imitate the style of Kenneth
>Wolstenholme, the hero of 1966.
>
>19 - Should any team feature brothers playing together, then Jackie and
>Bobby Charlton should be mentioned.
>
>20 - When England bow out after the first stage, we must emphasise that
>it is a massive blow to world football and a serious loss to the World Cup.
>Rica), the commentator must mention England.
>
>2 - Regardless of what two teams are contesting the final, England have
>to be mentioned within the first minute.
>
>3 - The commentator shall refer to the Falkland Isles in passing at
>some point in the match if England play Argentina.
>
>4 - Whenever a hat trick is scored, comparisons with Geoff Hurst will
>be made within seconds of the third goal hitting the net.
>
>5 - Should England wear their red jerseys, then '1966' should be
>mentioned approximately 20 times.
>
>6 - 1966 will be mentioned approximately 10 times a match, or only on 4
>or 5 occasions for matches not involving England.
>
>7 - Prior to the captain of the winning team lifting the trophy, the
>commentator will mention Bobby Moore. And 1966.
>
>8 - When Germany are playing, they must be referred to as being
>arrogant by the commentator on at least 14 occasions.
>This must refer to their style, their passing, their haircuts and their
>general footballing ability.
>
>9 - Should England play Germany, mentions of Winston Churchill,
>Dambusters, The Luftwaffe and Adolf Hitler will be compulsory. And
>1966.
>
>10 - All Scottish members of our commentary team must continue to refer
>to England as "we" and "us".
>
>11 - We must ensure that nationlistic stereotypes are adhered to. Of
>course, the Germans are arrogant. The Spanish are bottlers, The Ivory
>Coast are fast but bad at defending, The Angolans are disorganised,
>The Argentinians are cheats and the French are only good because their
>best players play in England.
>
>12 - For matches not involving England, we must only discuss the
>players that are playing in England. (eg - Holland v Argentina should
>be referred to as Van Nistelroy v Crespo).
>
>13 - The mythical "bulldog spirit" phrase should be used as often as
>possible.
>
>14 - Each match involving England should begin with the phrase "England
>Expects."
>
>15 - Should any player be involved in an injury that involves the loss
>of teeth, then references to Nobby Stiles and 1966 are compulsory.
>
>16 - If in doubt, mention 1966.
>
>17 - Praise all of the stunning new stadiums in Germany but emphasise
>that they lack the presence of Wembley, the spiritual home of football
>since 1966.
>
>18 - Commentators should feel free to imitate the style of Kenneth
>Wolstenholme, the hero of 1966.
>
>19 - Should any team feature brothers playing together, then Jackie and
>Bobby Charlton should be mentioned.
>
>20 - When England bow out after the first stage, we must emphasise that
>it is a massive blow to world football and a serious loss to the World Cup.
