J
Jonaldo
Guest
Home
My home is a place that only I know
Where bananas run riot and tinned fruits grow
Where the pow-wows pow and the jib-jibs jib
And there is no way I can tell any fibs.
Should you enter inside my personal world
Just stand on your head and watch it unfurl
With clashing bursts of purple and orange
Do you know there’s no word that rhymes with orange?
The candy floss trees grow down to your knees
And if you hop on two legs you get stung by the bees
Look out for the moose that’s riddled with fleas
Or go to school, learn your A-B-C’s.
The friendly cat-dog will bite off your feet
Or better yet still the dog-cat you could meet
The only way in is by invisible portal
But once you’re inside you’re no longer a mortal.
You can fly if you wish but look out for the fish
If you go too high you’ll hit you’re head on a dish
You may start to think I’m not telling the truth
Just come back down to Earth and step on the roof.
The magical soap bar can make you a bubble
A powerful force-field to keep out the trouble
Should you stumble across the nice evil wizard
Just stamp on his toes and rip out his gizzard
Then skip away jolly and cheery and happy
And laugh at the OAP wearing his nappy.
Easy peezy lemon squeezey Japanezey it’s quite breezy
Out at night you might get a fright and that can make you feel quite queasy
Knock on the door and ask for more, just like Oliver say you’re poor
Or be like me and juggle a pea and say you found that play a bore
So come have fun and drum on my drums
And wait for the bus that never comes.
Some things are strange inside my world
Like the red herring riding the Cadbury’s Twirl.
Inside the pub are one man and his dog
With twenty two pirates drinking grog
And serving them, all the busty barmaid
Who is actually bald, her hair is hand-made.
You can dance in the light of the moons lovely beams
Or go to bed and have very nice dreams.
Have you found the moose that’s riddle with fleas yet?
Don’t fall in the sea, you could get your keys wet!
Confused what to do? Then go to the zoo
Look at the animals, lovely view!
The lucky old wombats, they’ve got the best cage
But the poor old coyote is suffering from road rage.
If you’re fit enough you can dance the Lambada
Or go buy a car, a new Ford Granada
Then try custard ski-ing, it isn’t much harder
Than trying to fix a broken down Lada.
But where’s Mickey Mouse? He’s not in his house
He left rather quick when he beat up his spouse
Once he was young, black and white and was silent
Then he turned colour and got a bit violent
Y’see we don’t tolerate fighting round here
If you make trouble you get clipped round the ear.
Go to the museum, it’s all very quiet
Find out just who invented the diet
Interesting things, amazing facts
They’ve found a duck that actually quacks!
Things about planes, things about trains
Lots of stuff to fill up your brains.
Did you know that Mr Spock
Takes hold of his harp and plays heavy rock?
He don’t like to rave, not like my friend Dave
Who visits the queen and gives her a wave
If she doesn’t wave back, he starts to attack,
Puts her over his knee and gives her a smack.
Go for a climb to the top of the mountain
There you’ll find the mystical fountain
Mystical cos it don’t contain water
But if you ask me I think that it ought’ a.
There’s my friend Bob, who’s just lost his job
And here’s a boy scout “dib dib dib, dob dob dob”
And look here comes Harry, or is it Barry?
Whoops my mistake, it’s actually Larry
So where is Tom? Where has he gone?
Oh never mind, his brains just gone wrong.
Hopping along is a tube of Smarties
Going to one of those Tupperware parties
And here comes the Tupperware, led by a teddy bear
They don’t know the Smarties are already there
When they get to the party they’re in for a shock
As they meet Mr Redding sat on the dock.
The King of Hearts is eating Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts
And getting beat in a game of darts
The Queen of Diamonds who is somewhere behind em
Is having lunch with Simple Simon.
Then up comes the Sun that signifies dawn
It means another part of my world has been born
The new place that appeared is a very large sink
That has been painted a very pale pink
And though it may seem, it looks very green
That’s just mould, it’s not very clean
Piled inside is the weeks washing up
Knives, forks, plates and a cup
Only one cup as we all use the same one
I’ve got a pet dodo although it’s a lame one
What that’s got to do with washing up I don’t know
But then this line doesn’t even rhyme with that last one!
Welcome to the town of ‘Rdmptjxyksm’
A name that nobody knows how to pronounce
Where the babblers babble, the bobblers bobble
The wibbles wobble and the weebles wobble.
There lives a clown with a painted on frown
Comma comma down dooby doo down down
He stands on stilts that are very tall
Trying to balance and juggle a ball.
Here is the shop of the local letterer
He paints signs, posters, cards etc
If you want something written he’s the man to do it
If you want something stuck he’s the man to glue it
If you’ve got a horse he cannot shoe it
And if you want dinner he can only cook suet.
The quality of this poem has slowly diminished
And I think pretty soon it’s gonna be finished
I’m beginning to run out of things to include
And I’m trying hard not to write anything rude
There’ll be no nasty language in this poem
Blah blah blah (insert line that rhymes with poem).
I’m not sure if I should put this in off-topic
I think the result may be catastrophic
It’s not like I often make sense
And I’m worried people may think that I’m dense
I’ll get pointed and laughed at by that evil mod Brinx
And taunted by Damini the forumite minx
I should spare a second to apologise to Sicko
As the first word I thought to rhyme was ‘thicko’
I’ll purposely avoid mentioning Sharma
Don’t wanna risk creating bad karma
A little piece dedicated to Krypt…
hmm, vat of acid to be dipped or chainsaw, whoops! Slipped!
Twog, Twog, unorthodox Jock
If he’s ever made mod it’ll be a big shock
How can I forget that silly guy Gombur?
He may look like merry but he’s really quite somber
What about that odd one Tohtori?
Is he really a seal or is that just some weird story?
I think we all can agree that our friendly friend Klavrynd
Needs a serious baked bean nerf, cos he's got wind
Halo, Fonz, Cerebus
Haven’t you had enough of this?
I’ll stop right now before I run out of luck
As I’m pretty sure none of you will give a ... damn.
This is what I do when I’m alone
Sitting bored, inside my home
My home is a place that only I know
Where bananas run riot and tinned fruits grow
Where the pow-wows pow and the jib-jibs jib
And there is no way I can tell any fibs.
Should you enter inside my personal world
Just stand on your head and watch it unfurl
With clashing bursts of purple and orange
Do you know there’s no word that rhymes with orange?
The candy floss trees grow down to your knees
And if you hop on two legs you get stung by the bees
Look out for the moose that’s riddled with fleas
Or go to school, learn your A-B-C’s.
The friendly cat-dog will bite off your feet
Or better yet still the dog-cat you could meet
The only way in is by invisible portal
But once you’re inside you’re no longer a mortal.
You can fly if you wish but look out for the fish
If you go too high you’ll hit you’re head on a dish
You may start to think I’m not telling the truth
Just come back down to Earth and step on the roof.
The magical soap bar can make you a bubble
A powerful force-field to keep out the trouble
Should you stumble across the nice evil wizard
Just stamp on his toes and rip out his gizzard
Then skip away jolly and cheery and happy
And laugh at the OAP wearing his nappy.
Easy peezy lemon squeezey Japanezey it’s quite breezy
Out at night you might get a fright and that can make you feel quite queasy
Knock on the door and ask for more, just like Oliver say you’re poor
Or be like me and juggle a pea and say you found that play a bore
So come have fun and drum on my drums
And wait for the bus that never comes.
Some things are strange inside my world
Like the red herring riding the Cadbury’s Twirl.
Inside the pub are one man and his dog
With twenty two pirates drinking grog
And serving them, all the busty barmaid
Who is actually bald, her hair is hand-made.
You can dance in the light of the moons lovely beams
Or go to bed and have very nice dreams.
Have you found the moose that’s riddle with fleas yet?
Don’t fall in the sea, you could get your keys wet!
Confused what to do? Then go to the zoo
Look at the animals, lovely view!
The lucky old wombats, they’ve got the best cage
But the poor old coyote is suffering from road rage.
If you’re fit enough you can dance the Lambada
Or go buy a car, a new Ford Granada
Then try custard ski-ing, it isn’t much harder
Than trying to fix a broken down Lada.
But where’s Mickey Mouse? He’s not in his house
He left rather quick when he beat up his spouse
Once he was young, black and white and was silent
Then he turned colour and got a bit violent
Y’see we don’t tolerate fighting round here
If you make trouble you get clipped round the ear.
Go to the museum, it’s all very quiet
Find out just who invented the diet
Interesting things, amazing facts
They’ve found a duck that actually quacks!
Things about planes, things about trains
Lots of stuff to fill up your brains.
Did you know that Mr Spock
Takes hold of his harp and plays heavy rock?
He don’t like to rave, not like my friend Dave
Who visits the queen and gives her a wave
If she doesn’t wave back, he starts to attack,
Puts her over his knee and gives her a smack.
Go for a climb to the top of the mountain
There you’ll find the mystical fountain
Mystical cos it don’t contain water
But if you ask me I think that it ought’ a.
There’s my friend Bob, who’s just lost his job
And here’s a boy scout “dib dib dib, dob dob dob”
And look here comes Harry, or is it Barry?
Whoops my mistake, it’s actually Larry
So where is Tom? Where has he gone?
Oh never mind, his brains just gone wrong.
Hopping along is a tube of Smarties
Going to one of those Tupperware parties
And here comes the Tupperware, led by a teddy bear
They don’t know the Smarties are already there
When they get to the party they’re in for a shock
As they meet Mr Redding sat on the dock.
The King of Hearts is eating Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts
And getting beat in a game of darts
The Queen of Diamonds who is somewhere behind em
Is having lunch with Simple Simon.
Then up comes the Sun that signifies dawn
It means another part of my world has been born
The new place that appeared is a very large sink
That has been painted a very pale pink
And though it may seem, it looks very green
That’s just mould, it’s not very clean
Piled inside is the weeks washing up
Knives, forks, plates and a cup
Only one cup as we all use the same one
I’ve got a pet dodo although it’s a lame one
What that’s got to do with washing up I don’t know
But then this line doesn’t even rhyme with that last one!
Welcome to the town of ‘Rdmptjxyksm’
A name that nobody knows how to pronounce
Where the babblers babble, the bobblers bobble
The wibbles wobble and the weebles wobble.
There lives a clown with a painted on frown
Comma comma down dooby doo down down
He stands on stilts that are very tall
Trying to balance and juggle a ball.
Here is the shop of the local letterer
He paints signs, posters, cards etc
If you want something written he’s the man to do it
If you want something stuck he’s the man to glue it
If you’ve got a horse he cannot shoe it
And if you want dinner he can only cook suet.
The quality of this poem has slowly diminished
And I think pretty soon it’s gonna be finished
I’m beginning to run out of things to include
And I’m trying hard not to write anything rude
There’ll be no nasty language in this poem
Blah blah blah (insert line that rhymes with poem).
I’m not sure if I should put this in off-topic
I think the result may be catastrophic
It’s not like I often make sense
And I’m worried people may think that I’m dense
I’ll get pointed and laughed at by that evil mod Brinx
And taunted by Damini the forumite minx
I should spare a second to apologise to Sicko
As the first word I thought to rhyme was ‘thicko’
I’ll purposely avoid mentioning Sharma
Don’t wanna risk creating bad karma
A little piece dedicated to Krypt…
hmm, vat of acid to be dipped or chainsaw, whoops! Slipped!
Twog, Twog, unorthodox Jock
If he’s ever made mod it’ll be a big shock
How can I forget that silly guy Gombur?
He may look like merry but he’s really quite somber
What about that odd one Tohtori?
Is he really a seal or is that just some weird story?
I think we all can agree that our friendly friend Klavrynd
Needs a serious baked bean nerf, cos he's got wind
Halo, Fonz, Cerebus
Haven’t you had enough of this?
I’ll stop right now before I run out of luck
As I’m pretty sure none of you will give a ... damn.
This is what I do when I’m alone
Sitting bored, inside my home
