voices in my head

[Ormorof]

BBC NEWS | Health | Voices in the head 'are normal'

wooooooooooo im not nuts

on a more serious note the only time i ever hear anything odd is whenever i walk past a wide open window or big hole in the ground, i keep hearing (and thus feeling an incredible urge to go along with it) a voice that tells me to throw something in it, even if its my phone or something i have in my hand just to see what happens, i tend to ignore it though luckily!!

 

[Dukat]

Interesting read - I get the voices thing, I think, because I'm dyslexic, was far worse when I was younger, and I had a big problem with talking, I'd struggle to say coherent sentences - I'd be thinking about four or five sentences and end up vocalising all of them in on jumbled up sentence, etc.

To get over this I tend to 'vocalise' what I want to say, silently, in my head before I say it, a side effect of this is that I now struggle to 'think' without "silently vocalising" my thoughts - when I'm problemsolving the conflicting thoughts form a sort of disjointed discussion, sounds crazy, probably is!

For example, before I phone someone, go into a shop, or generally start a conversation with anyone I'll have a "preliminary conversation" on my own as if I was practicing it so I know roughly what I'm going to say, what the other person will probably say and what I'll say back to them.

Also, if I've just done something stupid, or embarrasing, I'll normally have a kinda mini argument, in a way that is comparable to the cartoons where you see a character with two figures on thier shoulder - the angel and the devil - who represent the different sides of things. Kinda like; "ohh ffs you bloody idiot why did you do that?", "because XYZ, i was in the right!!" "oh yea, I'm sure they see it that way!" etc, etc.

I had always thought this sort of thing was kinda commonplace though, because you see things like that so much in mainstream entertainment nowadays.

 

[Lamp]

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "Thats a bunch of women with their tits out"

The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "Lesbo oral sex."

The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

 

[Olgaline]

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "Thats a bunch of women with their tits out"

The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "Lesbo oral sex."

The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

that from a movie or tv show!
just cant remeber wich

 

[Zita]

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "Thats a bunch of women with their tits out"

The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "Lesbo oral

The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

Poor You disapoint me

 

[Lamp]

Don't blame me. Olg's psychologist gave me a tape from one of their sessions

 

[Olgaline]

Oi!
how did you get your hands on that!? thats' perthonal!
And i know I just cant help it, and my new psycologist is just as big a perv!

maybe it's me ?

Naaaah?

 

[Dukat]

how did you get your hands on that!?

Lamp was ze doctor!

And whats worse - you dont want to know what those pills he gave you do thats right, the strange mood swings and the hairier than normal armpits arent just a result of global warming! he's turned you into MOODY HAIR MAN!!!

 

[Lamp]

All psychologists are obsessed with sex.

Patient: Doc, I'm really depressed, I can't sleep, and I feel I can't take any more
Doc: So how long have you started fantasising about sleeping with your mother ?

After an hour of sitting in on a sofa pouring out your life's problems (the doc's not even listening, he's listening to his ipod), you think you feel much better, and hand over a load of cash.

Pff.

 

[Olgaline]

MOODY HAIR MAN!!!

hmm..
you know what ?

Thats an awsome name for a blues artist!
and just replace man with band and you got your self a full group ensemble

 

[Shagrat]

All psychologists are obsessed with sex.

Patient: Doc, I'm really depressed, I can't sleep, and I feel I can't take any more
Doc: So how long have you started fantasising about sleeping with your mother ?

After an hour of sitting in on a sofa pouring out your life's problems (the doc's not even listening, he's listening to his ipod), you think you feel much better, and hand over a load of cash.

Pff.

God, your an idiot. A lot of personal experience with psychologists have you, or are you just cluelessly opinionated??

 

[Lamp]

God, your an idiot. A lot of personal experience with psychologists have you, or are you just cluelessly opinionated??

Cluelessly opinionated.

You might want to check out the following links

Tongue-in-cheek - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Irony - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Stereotype - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Humour - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

LOL

 

[Shagrat]

Sorry Lamp but you wouldnt know Irony if it ran you over in a truck.

If it was anyone else on this board I would have expected it to be sarcasm or whatever but everything you post is usually a dig at whatever random subgroup of society the post is about to try and get a few cheap laughs......

Ho hum Im going to bed.

 

[Lamp]

Sorry Lamp but you wouldnt know Irony if it ran you over in a truck.

If it was anyone else on this board I would have expected it to be sarcasm or whatever but everything you post is usually a dig at whatever random subgroup of society the post is about to try and get a few cheap laughs......

Ho hum Im going to bed.

ROFL. Whatever, dude. Night night.

 

[Golena]

that from a movie or tv show!
just cant remeber wich

I think the same joke was done in armageddon?

 

[Lamp]

I think the same joke was done in armageddon?

Aye...might very well have come from there...either way its an old gag

 

[Binky the Bomb]

I always knew the voices in my head were normal, it just took some getting used to when they started saying crazy stuff like "Clean your room" and "Wash the damn pots"...

Also, personal favourites are "Wouldn't she look better drapped across your bed?" and "My god, pleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE say 'Take a picture, it'll last longer', you have a camera phone for just such an emergency!"

 

[Olgaline]

I think the same joke was done in armageddon?

nono I mean like as it's a scene from a movie,
i just gotta figure out wich :s

 

[Olgaline]

I got it now!

wasnt exactly that tho, and not in a sexual context, but still guesing the joke origionates from that:

A short story where this chap, he no read and write zo good, and he be aprooved for a special Op and he got to takes this inkblot tests...

cant remeber the name right, now, but a damn funny and well written short story, also becuase he "the writer" writes it as a journal from the patients pov, so you see how he progreses throught the story and after the Op

 

[Lamp]

Olg - you disappear for 4 hours and come back with a story about a bloke who took an ink blot test !

I was at least expecting a you-tube clip or something for the source of my lame joke

 

[Shagrat]

well thats quite impressive, most of 2 bottles of wine and I could still spell.

Apologies though Lamp, I was a little, erm, harsh, haha

 

[Raven]

I guess the throw your mobile through a window thing is a little like I am with heights and the compulsion to jump, not really a voice just an urge.

Or do you mean a little voice on your shoulder saying "wouldn't it be cool to throw something?"

 

[kiliarien]

I once heard voices in my head









turned out I had my headphones on and I was on vent...

 

[Ormorof]

I guess the throw your mobile through a window thing is a little like I am with heights and the compulsion to jump, not really a voice just an urge.

Or do you mean a little voice on your shoulder saying "wouldn't it be cool to throw something?"

yeah its literally a case of, if i walk past a hole (like an open manhole or a big open window) and i have something in my hand or in my pockets i get this voice saying "throw it... go on... throw it..." over and over until i go past then i start wondering if i actually heard anything at all or if some weirdo is following me bit odd but ive only ever thrown something in once and it was only a peanut m&m (last one in packet )

 

[Job]

Strange urges aren't uncommon, I worried about mine for a long time till a friend admited the exact same problem.

His wife handed me their new born baby and as always I refused, because I have this incredible urge to throw it against a wall.
My freind (The dad) then said 'I hate holding the kid cos I keep having this weird feeling I'm going to throw it at the wall'

Our shared relief at admitting it kinda overshadowed the weirdness of the urge.

 

[Ezteq]

yeah everytime im on a high place i hear a voice saying jump! ...jump you bitch JUMP! you dont deserve to live!












i mainly just ignore it but sometimes i turn round and tell B2 to stfu, it didnt work the first time its not going to work now



baa dum tssh! but seriously folks, nah i dont hear voices, i do kind of do a monologue in my head sometimes describing the things im seeing or what im doing as if its a book (but i put that down to being a compulsive reader...and a bit sad) also i tend to answer people who are talking to me, but i answer them mentally so they look at me and say "are you going to answer" and its like whoops lol i thought the answer but forgot to say it, and then sometimes i'll do sarky comments and stuff in my head...and occasionally they will actually be said out loud.

like at work the other day on my lunch break with my boss and a colleague and there was a magazine on the table with jade goodie in a swim suit on the cover and i said "aw man yuck jade in a swimsuit" and my boss said "ew yeah i wouldnt want to see her in anything" and i came out with "i dunno, a bodybag would be nice" i got a 2 second stunned silence then a double OMG followed by maniacal giggling lol.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well this may come as a shock to people, but i don't have voices in my head

Well, except my thoughts...guess that's worse in my case.

 

[Lamp]

Saw a TV programme once about a woman who had 17 multiple personalities. Nightmare.

 

[Olgaline]

Olg - you disappear for 4 hours and come back with a story about a bloke who took an ink blot test !

I was at least expecting a you-tube clip or something for the source of my lame joke

maybe so but I finally rememberd what it's called: Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes