To Apathy, re: cheerleaders

[eggy]

Apathy,

I was incredibly bored, and whilst strumming through my brother's collection of illegal DVDs, I noticed one called "But I'm a cheerleader". Thinking it was porn, i put it on.

Actually what it was, was a film about a gay rehab clinic. I was pissing myself laughing at the gay kids in it, running around, bumping into trees and the suchlike.

Have you seen it? I think you should pop off to Blockbusters and see if you can find a copy. I'd love your opinions on the matters that are brought up!

xx

 

[Conchabar]

lol hed prolly enjoy it to much ^^

 

[gunner440]

Megan is an all-American girl. She's a cheerleader, she has a boyfriend, etc. But she doesn't like kissing her boyfriend very much. And she's pretty touchy with her cheerleader friends. And she only has pictures of girls up in her locker. Her parents and friends conclude that she *must* be gay and send her off to "sexual redirection" school, full of admittedly homosexual misfits, where she can learn to how to be straight. Will Megan be turned around to successful heterosexuality, or will she succumb to her love for the beautiful Graham?

what the fck

and you watched this ?

 

[eggy]

lol, that's not a very good blurb for the film to be honest.

It was on a DVDr, in a clear plastic case, and I thought it was porn at first look.

Fucking funny though

 

[Lorra]

sounds fooking cool im gona buy it tonight ;D

 

[k9awya]

shut up lorra

 

[Apathy]

Dear Eggy,

Thank you for your forum post dated 12/6/04. Please find attached my response.

I have seen the movie in question. In fact, I downloaded it from Kazaa approximately one year ago when it turned up after a search for cheerleader porn. What I was actually looking for was the short porn clip where a cheerleader and a huge black football player meet up after the game in the locker room and he proceeds to bang the hell out of her. His massive genitalia are simultaneously awe-inspiring and humorous. Full marks to the cheerleader for being to take it all, I say.

Anyway. After realising I had actually downloaded a gay youth "coming to terms and coming of age" movie, I rolled my eyes and put my khakis back on. I watched most of it on fast forward since I did find it very boring. The plot, I vaguely recall, centered around a girl sent away to a rehabilitation clinic to deal with what her parents saw as dangerous sexual desires. Of course, during her time at the clinic she realises she IS a lesbian. Or something.

Like most rubbish films there are some good moments. The parts about sports and so on for guys particularly reminded me of my own time at school. I hated gym so much that I actually purposely broke my arm in a faked sailing accident to get out of it. And it worked for two years until I went into 5th year and could drop compulsory physical education. Even today I have a pathological fear of footballs and 100% polyester clothing.

The idea of a gay rehab clinic is both silly and possible. Although inate instincts cannot be "unlearned" (because instinct is simply that - instinct! It's not taught to you), they can certainly be "learned over", where a new set of forcefully placed rules and learned behaviour can take the place of what is naturally there. It raises issues of whether we really should fight what we are and whether children should be subject to the whims and desires of their parents or be granted self-determination. See The Gillick case for under age child consent to treatment and so on. Landmark!

Mostly the movie was just another way to make fun of goofy people with some aspect about them that was different from most other people. It could just as easily have been fat camp (fat people become slim), dumb camp (stupid people learn how to do things away from the internet and computer games) or hair camp (three intensive months of being told why perms are wrong). How about black camp, where black people are taught how to behave more "white" and to fit in that way? I bet that last one wouldn't be very popular but it works on exactly the same premise.

Sadly, this kind of film is almost a genre now. I recently saw the movie "Camp" which is about a summer camp for the performing acts. Think "Fame" but with really gay underage people. Urgh. Actually I quite liked it even though the plot is as skinny as k9's penis. The singing is really good and there are, just like "Cheerleader", some really funny parts which will have you blowing milk out of your nose, should you be in the habit of drinking milk whilst watching movies.

Yesterday I saw "Elephant", which I recommend. Also "Girl, Interrupted" if you fancy a movie which is loosely based on Plath's "The Bell Jar" but nowhere near as good and rather Hollywood. "Sweet Sixteen" is slightly dull but not bad. And, of course, "Legally Blonde" or anything else with Reese Witherspoon in it. Once you get over just how oddly shaped her face is, she's really quite wankable.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely,

a.
*