A
Alrindel
Guest
To: All
From: Alrindel
Subject: Dun Crauchon
Well, everybody, I know we are all very excited about the opening of the new Darkness Falls facility, but let's all try to remember that this is only going to make things even busier than they already all at Dun Crauchon with everyone coming and going all the time. I know that none of you like being nagged by an elf all the time, but it seems that I need to go over some of the rules again because SOME of you are not being quite as considerate as you could be towards your co-workers, and if we're going to be one efficient and happy team, we all have to do our share.
From: Alrindel
Subject: Dun Crauchon
Well, everybody, I know we are all very excited about the opening of the new Darkness Falls facility, but let's all try to remember that this is only going to make things even busier than they already all at Dun Crauchon with everyone coming and going all the time. I know that none of you like being nagged by an elf all the time, but it seems that I need to go over some of the rules again because SOME of you are not being quite as considerate as you could be towards your co-workers, and if we're going to be one efficient and happy team, we all have to do our share.
- Everyone MUST do their own dishes AND put them away. Albion tea mugs, Hibernian wine glasses, and Midgard mead steins - do NOT leave them scattered all over the kitchen (some of you are even leaving them down by the forge, or in the lord's room!) but pick them up, rinse them out in the sink, dry them properly and put them back where they came from. If you're smashing the mead steins in the fireplace after toasting victory, then use the brush and dustpan in the corner to sweep up the bits - that's what it's there for. If you're quaffing, for heaven's sake mop up after yourself, the mead gets very sticky when it's spilled everywhere.
- The toilet in the lord's tower marked ELVES ONLY must NOT be used by trolls under any circumstances (Norsemen, please read this sign for your trolls, make sure they understand it, and make sure they don't eat it). The waste pipes from that toilet are very narrow and one troll "doing his business" up there will block up the works. Iziz has said categorically that she is NOT going down to unblock the pipes any more.
- On the subject of "troll business", whoever is leaving the amusing figures sculpted out of troll dung up in the lord's room, STOP IT. While we all appreciate the chance to admire the fruits of your artistic talent, PLEASE stick to more traditional materials like grovewood branches, flint cherts, or Saracen skulls. It is simply not fair to ask the lord to defend against a horde of invaders while surrounded by piles of cunningly crafted troll poo.
- If your raiding party is planning to kill the merchant who sells cleaning materials, make sure you bring your own mop, washing up liquid, paper towels and disinfectant.
- The Disney videos in the guard's room are there for everyone's enjoyment. REWIND them and PUT THEM AWAY when you have finished watching them. THIS MEANS YOU, CELTIC FIST.
- I do not wish to be judgemental or prudish, but I am VERY disappointed with the unnamed Norse guild who left those magazines lying about where lurikeens could reach them. If you MUST bring rubbish like Big Firbolg Mamas, Black Troll White Elf, Wizard Staffs and Knobs and Minstrel by Day - Nympho by Night into Dun Crauchon, then put them up on a high shelf when you are finished "reading" them. Aeiedil cried for hours after he found what he thought was the latest issue of Beano.
- Finally, to the unnamed person who photocopied their bum and scotch-taped it on the forge with "this is alrindel u r ugly" written on it, well, until this unnamed comedian steps forward, the photocopier is now out of bounds except to Guild Masters, and I will be keeping the keys in my office. I'm sorry it had to come to this, I thought we could work on an honour system, but a few bad apples had to spoil it for the whole bunch.[/list=1]
I do hope everyone will pitch in and do their bit. I don't enjoy being the nag all the time, but if we want to have a happy and professionally organized Emain, then everyone has to follow the rules.
Alrindel Arrowsong
Acting Office Manager, Emain Macha
