The Top Six Reasons Computers are Female

[old.s@xon]

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it!

 

[old.FingerMagnet]

Hehe. Seems like we both have a similar joke collection. Have u seen this old one?

Several Good Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women and Then Some!
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. You don't have to wine and dinea beer.
3. Beer stains wash out.
4. Beer doesn't have to get a new dress for a party.
5. Beer never has a headache.
6. When a beer goes flat, you just toss it out.
7. Beer is never late.
8. Beer doesn't have a birthday for you to forget.
9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
10. Beer doesn't argue with you about when to drink it.
11. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
12. Beer doesn't get upset when you come home and decide to have another beer.
13. Beer never threatens to go to a lawyer.
14. Beer labels come off without a fight.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
17. No court has ever granted a beer alimony payments.
18. You can share a beer with your friends.
19. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth something.
20. Hangovers go away.
21. Beers never require expensive permanent and hair tints.
22. Beer is always wet.
23. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you pour your beer right, you'll always get a good head.
26. Beer can be easily eliminated.
27. Beer is only stopping by, it doesn't stay around and nag.
28. Beer doesn't demand equality.
29. A frigid beer is a good beer.
30. You don't have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.
31. Beer never complains about when you come for it.
32. You don't have to take your beer to a psychiatrist to get it to bubble.
33. You can have a beer in public.
34. You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.
35. When your beer gets upset, it settles down.
36. Beer is subject to quality control and doesn't argue about it.
37. Beer doesn't talk back to you and ask a lot of silly questions.
38. Beer doesn't ask you to take a lie detector test about when you had the last one.
39. Beer doesn't have a Mother that goes with it.
40. If you drop a beer, there is no doctor bill.
41. Beer doesn't have anniversaries for you to forget.
42. Beer doesn't demand that you take it dancing before you can have it.
43. Beer doesn't have relatives that stop by and stay for weeks.
44. When you buy a beer, you own it.
45. Beer never cries or gets jealous.

 

[old.FingerMagnet]

At last.... Scientific reasoning FOR drinking!!!!!

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

The result of this in-depth epidemiological study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and programming
performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving university and getting married, most programmers cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick to the
strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their university years.

So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge we should not shudder in our homes. Get back into
the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Be all that you can be.

 

[old.memski]

ROFL, beer

----------------------------------------------30. You don't have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.
---------------------------------------------

[This message has been edited by memski (edited 02 September 1999).]

 

[old.FingerMagnet]

Hehe.
Hang on, I don't drink anyway! Why the heck am I promoting the consumption of beer!

Nah, women are better than Beer!
(But I'm sure some women are better after you've had a couple! I’m guessing)

 

[old.memski]

lol

Not a good statement that last bit

Best 2 keep that sort of info 2 yerself. eh?

 

[old.FingerMagnet]

lol!
I mean a couple of beers! D'oh!

 

[old.Billy]

Haha. This is getting silly. Now as you should know, I treat my lady with lots of respect but also my beer. Finger, me ol` china, you have much to learn. You should learn that women are there to walk you home when drunk and hold your pint glass at a vertical position. Show some respect.