When taking a dump and boredom sets in, roll out a huge wad of toilet paper (10-15 squares) and, with your index and middle finger, shove one end into your ass until you reach knuckle, then let the other end hang down into the murky water below. Yell "Hike" and flush the toilet. The play's over when the "flag" is yanked out of the grasp of your sphincter. Repeat until you score a touchdown (when you're able to hold the flag in your ass after the toilet finishes flushing...)
In a tight 69 with the girl on the bottom, sit up and plant your sphincter on her forehead and rip a fart so big it parts her hair. Slick hair-piece Bizatchhhh.
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