The Horror...

[Damini]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/3110891.stm

God. Damn. Things like this make me feel exceptionally uncomfortable. Its a bit like that picture of a boy with a maggot in his eye. (Here's the link, but only for those that are prepared for the fact that its a) old and b) rank as hell ) Kenny's sister had an insect burrow out of her belly after her holiday in Africa, which would have had me hysterical and deranged. A girl on my drama course ended up getting ill after weird insects took up residence in her liver.

I've had ticks before. Got them camping in the new forest. Had seven of the buggers scattered around my being and my mum had to pin me down and douse me with surgical spirit before wrenching them free. Most of you know about the time I caught hair lice off my SHITE AWFUL housemate, and tried to run away from my head whilst crying The sight of her sitting there while they ran across her forehead to escape the poison will haunt me until my dying day.

Anyway, the purpose of this thread is partially to go "God damn, I'm sowing up my ears before I go to sleep", partially to see if anyone else is as nuerotic about parasites as I am, and partially to tempt tales of infestation out from other people.

(Parasites are another reason I can't have children. If my child bought home hair lice, it can stay in the orphanage until they are gone)

 

[GDW]

Yucck Yuccck squeal li'l piggy squeal

 

[Yoni]

*scratches*

 

[mank!]

I keep wanting to scratch my ears. Damn you

 

[leggy]

Old. Had them on me for years.

 

[Nos-]

Originally posted by Damini
I've had ticks before. Got them cam...[/i].[/B][/QUOTE] Damini in crabs shocker!

 

[Aeron]

these are nasty

Supervisor in work had them,all burrowing through him laying eggs and crapping everywhere,heh,good lesson to be learnt,go and shake hands with all the people you hate 1st before treatinguke:

Apparently dogs can carry these things too,think about that before you goto pat it heheheh.

1 more thing,think about the millions of bed bugs chomping on you as you cuddle up in bed.:touch:

 

[PR.]

*hides from thread*

 

[bids]

Read somewhere that during your lifetime, you will eat 70 spiders in your sleep - don't know whether it's right but the concept is scary.

 

[bigfoot]

My dad had a moth fly into his ear once, had to go to hospital and have it removed :>

 

[Debaser]

Poor little moth

 

[CAC]

i few years ago while riding my pushbike to work a bee flew into my mouth and stung my tongue

does this count?

 

[Embattle]

I do believe that is slightly worse since it can make your tongue swell and block your throat


I tend to eat the odd little bug while cycling home during these hot days...I do try to spit it out

 

[Gef]

You think thats bad? Check this out!

Jeez poor bastard

 

[xane]

If you plan on having kids you'd better get used to head lice and threadworm.

There was an outbreak of lice at my son's school a few months back, and they transferred to my wife as well, but they ignored me, so I got the job of washing and combing through both of them with that stupid little comb every few days.

He has also got threadworm too, poor little sod, you can shine a light up his bum and watch them crawl out, fortunately there's a pill that kills them stone dead in a few hours.

Originally posted by CAC
i few years ago while riding my pushbike to work a bee flew into my mouth and stung my tongue

I had a wasp fly into my shirt whilst cycling home last week, stayed in there until I got chaged and flew away, no stings fortunately

Fortean Times had a story about a boy who had maggots in his bladder and they came out as he pee'd.

 

[Will]

Originally posted by xane
There was an outbreak of lice at my son's school a few months back, and they transferred to my wife as well, but they ignored me, so I got the job of washing and combing through both of them with that stupid little comb every few days.

My mum is a infant school teacher, and she regularly brings home some headlice. Its just a part of the job. Luckily she has managed never to transfer them.

I'm having flashbacks to the nit nurse at school.

 

[Jonny_Darko]

Originally posted by bids
Read somewhere that during your lifetime, you will eat 70 spiders in your sleep - don't know whether it's right but the concept is scary.

I heard it's four a year.

I actually had trouble sleeping for a week after I read that. Maybe I should block up my air passages at night. At least I'd go off pretty quick that way.

 

[Panda On Smack]

at the end of the day, you eat a spider and it goes into your stomach which is full of . . . . acid!

so whats the big deal?

Has anyone in th UK ever died of eating a spider in their sleep?

 

[leggy]

Originally posted by xane
you can shine a light up his bum and watch them crawl out

That is sooo wrong I don't even know where to start :/

 

[xane]

Originally posted by Will.
I'm having flashbacks to the nit nurse at school.

You fancied her ?

 

[Will]

Good god no.

Why couldn't we have had an attrative nit nurse? Actually, I was disappointed when I was in hospital to find out real nurses aren't dressed anywhere near as sexy as the male fantasy image of a nurse. Thank god my girlfriend didn't get a real NHS uniform.

 

[mank!]

I'm never sleeping again. Or breathing.

 

[~Mobius~]

This thread made me ill. :/

 

[old.Fweddy]

One of the strangest [stories from the Amazon concerned] a fish that was urinophilic and could swim up the urethra or into the vagina of the unwary native who urinated while bathing in the Amazon. It was said that this fish, known as candirú [in Brazil; as carnero in Spanish-speaking countries], was long, thin, and capable of forcing its way into the body's passageways following the trail of urine. Once inside it would eat away the mucous membranes and tissues until hemorrhage would kill it or the host. It was also said that even if one caught the fish by the tail, once in the urethra it could not be pulled out because it would spread itself like an umbrella. Indeed, rumors had it that penectomy was preferred to the misery and pain associated with leaving the fish in the urethra

The fish penetrated the victim's urethra while he was standing in the river urinating, actually emerging from the water and entering his penis, filling the entire anterior urethra. He reported trying to grab hold of the fish, but it was very slippery, and it forced its way inside with alarming speed. The candirú's forward progress was blocked by the sphincter separating the penile urethra from the bulbar urethra. With the passage blocked, the fish had made a lateral turn and bitten through the tissue into the corpus spongiosum, creating an opening into the scrotum. Perfusion [flushing] of the urethra with sterile distilled water prior to endoscopy induced further immediate and pronounced scrotal edema, making it evident that the opening had allowed the perfusate to enter the scrotum. Although the patient had remembered the fish as being small, after extraction it measured 134 mm (51/2 in) [long], with a head width of 11.5 mm (7/16 in). . . . Some coagulated material was removed, revealing a wound on the bulbar urethra of 1 cm in diameter and associated with a small amount of local bleeding. Although the patient suffered immediate trauma, no long term effects of the attack were noticed 1 year after the incident.

 

[mank!]

I hate you, Fweddy.

 

[Panda On Smack]

2 options

a) don't go to the Amazon
b) use an elastic band

 

[leggy]

If you give yourself a semi and then wrap an elastic band around the base, it looks and stays bigger. Good for when stripping.

 

[old.Fweddy]

Originally posted by mank!
I hate you, Fweddy.

Just be glad I didn't post the picture that went along with that second quote.

 

[~Mobius~]

Fweddy you've given me nightmares now.

For some weird reason I want to see the picture though...

 

[old.Fweddy]

It gets better. Apparently the guy in the second quote who had the candirú taken out was very lucky as it died nearly straight away and relaxed its spines so it could be removed. Usually they'll stay alive for upto a month chomping away, meaning ampuation is the only way to save the victim's life.

And candirú have translucent bodies, so are very difficult to see when in water.