M
Murcalumis
Guest
I
On a mountain, high above the domain of Belgium stood The Lord. And the skies behind him bristled with lightning and black clouds. And one man was below him, listening to him. And he had with him a chisel and a stone to scribe down the Lord’s Words. And The Lord said unto him, ‘Let this be know to ye; the way of the apostrophe.’
And the man gasped, and scribed it down. ‘Let this be known to ye; the knowledge of apostrophication.’
‘Let this be known to ye; the commandments of apostrophication.’
‘Let this be known to ye; thou shalt not misapostrophise. And all offenders shall be tortured and sent to offender camps and shall be murdered.’
The Lord had finished his decree, and the man went down the hill to tell the peoples of Belgium.
II
And the man told the people and the people listened. And he told them the commandments and they took them in. And the people were awed by the new and exciting thing, the apostrophe. And one man said ‘But how do we use the apostrophe’s?’
And the man with the stone and chisel struck him down. And he squirmed in pain on the ground, till another man spat on him. And he kicked him and punched him. And The Lord looked on and was happy with his people. And unto the man with the chisel and the rock he said, ‘Let this be known to ye; I am happy.’
‘Let this be known to ye; the man who is dieing on the floor is there deservedly so. The man that hit him is a good man. And others should live by his example.’
And henceforth, the residents of Belgium lived by the rule of apostrophication and followed the example of the man with the chisel and the stone, beating to death all that should miss-use apostrophes.
And soon there was but one resident left. And it was the man with the chisel and the stone. And The Lord said unto him, ‘Let this be known to ye; there are no more miss-users of apostriphication in Belgium. And hence you have done well and I am great and just.’
And then he said unto the man, ‘Let this be known to ye; more residents shall be rounded up from France and Germany at once. And they shall come to live in Belgium and learn of the apostrophe. And they shall be happy for I am great and just.’
III
And the man walked to France first of all. And he talked to the people. He said to them, ‘Let this be known ye; The Lord has sent me. And you shall come to Belgium. And you shall learn of the apostrophe and be happy for The Lord is great and just.’
And one Frenchman asked what the apostrophe was. And the man with the chisel and stone hit him with the stone. And the peoples of France hereby whole-heartedly supported the apostrophe, and knew of its greatness and how it was just. And they travelled to Belgium.
IV
And the skies cleared, and the rain stopped and hence the rule of Bottanica was upon France’s people. And there was rejoicing. And the people went to Germany, and told the Germans of the apostrophe. And one man asked, ‘But what is the apostrophe?’ And the man with the chisel and the stone hit him. And the peoples of Germany travelled to Belgium.
And as the peoples of Germany and France gathered around the man with chisel and stone. They listened to all he had to say about the apostrophe. And they became wise in the knowledge of it. And they prospered. And they were happy. And they loved the way of the Apostrophe.
V
The Lord was great and just. And the people loved him. And one day, he said unto his people, ‘Let this be known to ye; you have been educated in the way of the apostrophe. And you do not understand it fully yet. And, although you do not understand, you are great and prosperous for I am great and just.’
And the people applauded The Lord for he was great and just.
‘Let this be known to ye; you are to go henceforth and create camps.’
And the people created camps for The Lord was great and just.
‘Let this be known; you have created camps.’
And the people applauded, for they had created camps. And The Lord was great and just.
‘Let this be known to ye; you shall all travel to the camps.’
And the people applauded, and travelled to the camps. And The Lord was great and just.
VI
And the people entered the camps. And the people were happy. And the people were taught about apostrophication by the man with the chisel and the stone.
And The Lord said unto him, ‘Let this be known to ye; you have taught well. And you know of the apostrophe.’
And the man nodded, for this he had known.
‘Let this be known to ye; although you have taught well, you are not fully aware of the apostrophe yourself. You are a miss-user.’ And The Lord struck down the man.
And henceforth The Lord spoke directly to his people, in order to try and teach them the ways of apostrophication.
VII
And The Lord said unto his people, ‘Let this be known to ye; I am speaking to you.’
And the people gasped.
‘Let this be known to ye; you know not the ways of the apostrophe. And the man with the chisel and the stone did not know fully. And he is dead. And I am great and just.’
And the people were shocked.
‘Let this be known to ye; you shall take a test. And the test will be one of apostrophication. And all must take this test. And children won’t have to take the test.’
And the people were confused. And they looked around at each other and shrugged.
‘Let this be known to ye; you shall take the test now.’
And the people looked nervous.
‘Let this be known to ye; the question is thus “Do you know the ways of apostrophication fully?”’
And the people shouted, ‘Yes! We do, Lord! O great and just Lord, we do!’
And the Lord struck down all the adults. And the children looked up to the sky.
VIII
And a rumbling was heard from the sky. And the children said, ‘O great and just Lord, we heard a rumbling. And what was it?’
And The Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; it was nothing.’
And the children sighed with relief.
IX
The Lord said unto the children, ‘Let this be known to ye; you are children.’
And the children looked surprised.
‘Let this be known to ye; you are not as old as the adults. And hence, you are not lost to the ways of misapostrophication yet.’
And the children were gleeful, for they had hope yet. And The Lord was great and just.
And The Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; you shall seek out the mines of Southern Belgium. And they are banana mines. And you shall mine bananas to fuel your automobiles and warm up your children.’
And the children said unto The Lord, ‘But Lord, we have no children, for we are children ourselves.’
And a rumbling was heard from the sky.
X
And the children mined bananas. And The Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; you are all children.’
‘Let this be known to ye; you are all under the age of 16 and hence not corrupted by the ways of miss-apostrophication.’
And the children were happy in this knowledge.
‘Let this be known to ye; all that are of eight years old and above must move to the advanced apostrophication camps. And they are to learn of the preventative measures that shall stop the corruption. And all those under eight are to continue mining until they are eight. And then they shall move.
And the children moved.
XI
And the children of eight years old and more moved to the new camp. And the Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; you are to learn how to stop yourselves from being corrupted.’
And the children listened attentively.
‘Let this be known to ye; the way to do this is to mate. And to have children to work in the mines to mine bananas and fuel their automobiles. And their children will grow old to mate. And their children shall mine bananas. And when you are sixteen you shall be struck down. And everyone will be happy: for this system is perfect. And I am great and just.’
And the children started mating. And a Master Race of banana gathers was born.
As a sidenote; my account's not working and I'm bored.
P.S: Help me! Help me! Account.. not... working... write.. strange.. things...
On a mountain, high above the domain of Belgium stood The Lord. And the skies behind him bristled with lightning and black clouds. And one man was below him, listening to him. And he had with him a chisel and a stone to scribe down the Lord’s Words. And The Lord said unto him, ‘Let this be know to ye; the way of the apostrophe.’
And the man gasped, and scribed it down. ‘Let this be known to ye; the knowledge of apostrophication.’
‘Let this be known to ye; the commandments of apostrophication.’
‘Let this be known to ye; thou shalt not misapostrophise. And all offenders shall be tortured and sent to offender camps and shall be murdered.’
The Lord had finished his decree, and the man went down the hill to tell the peoples of Belgium.
II
And the man told the people and the people listened. And he told them the commandments and they took them in. And the people were awed by the new and exciting thing, the apostrophe. And one man said ‘But how do we use the apostrophe’s?’
And the man with the stone and chisel struck him down. And he squirmed in pain on the ground, till another man spat on him. And he kicked him and punched him. And The Lord looked on and was happy with his people. And unto the man with the chisel and the rock he said, ‘Let this be known to ye; I am happy.’
‘Let this be known to ye; the man who is dieing on the floor is there deservedly so. The man that hit him is a good man. And others should live by his example.’
And henceforth, the residents of Belgium lived by the rule of apostrophication and followed the example of the man with the chisel and the stone, beating to death all that should miss-use apostrophes.
And soon there was but one resident left. And it was the man with the chisel and the stone. And The Lord said unto him, ‘Let this be known to ye; there are no more miss-users of apostriphication in Belgium. And hence you have done well and I am great and just.’
And then he said unto the man, ‘Let this be known to ye; more residents shall be rounded up from France and Germany at once. And they shall come to live in Belgium and learn of the apostrophe. And they shall be happy for I am great and just.’
III
And the man walked to France first of all. And he talked to the people. He said to them, ‘Let this be known ye; The Lord has sent me. And you shall come to Belgium. And you shall learn of the apostrophe and be happy for The Lord is great and just.’
And one Frenchman asked what the apostrophe was. And the man with the chisel and stone hit him with the stone. And the peoples of France hereby whole-heartedly supported the apostrophe, and knew of its greatness and how it was just. And they travelled to Belgium.
IV
And the skies cleared, and the rain stopped and hence the rule of Bottanica was upon France’s people. And there was rejoicing. And the people went to Germany, and told the Germans of the apostrophe. And one man asked, ‘But what is the apostrophe?’ And the man with the chisel and the stone hit him. And the peoples of Germany travelled to Belgium.
And as the peoples of Germany and France gathered around the man with chisel and stone. They listened to all he had to say about the apostrophe. And they became wise in the knowledge of it. And they prospered. And they were happy. And they loved the way of the Apostrophe.
V
The Lord was great and just. And the people loved him. And one day, he said unto his people, ‘Let this be known to ye; you have been educated in the way of the apostrophe. And you do not understand it fully yet. And, although you do not understand, you are great and prosperous for I am great and just.’
And the people applauded The Lord for he was great and just.
‘Let this be known to ye; you are to go henceforth and create camps.’
And the people created camps for The Lord was great and just.
‘Let this be known; you have created camps.’
And the people applauded, for they had created camps. And The Lord was great and just.
‘Let this be known to ye; you shall all travel to the camps.’
And the people applauded, and travelled to the camps. And The Lord was great and just.
VI
And the people entered the camps. And the people were happy. And the people were taught about apostrophication by the man with the chisel and the stone.
And The Lord said unto him, ‘Let this be known to ye; you have taught well. And you know of the apostrophe.’
And the man nodded, for this he had known.
‘Let this be known to ye; although you have taught well, you are not fully aware of the apostrophe yourself. You are a miss-user.’ And The Lord struck down the man.
And henceforth The Lord spoke directly to his people, in order to try and teach them the ways of apostrophication.
VII
And The Lord said unto his people, ‘Let this be known to ye; I am speaking to you.’
And the people gasped.
‘Let this be known to ye; you know not the ways of the apostrophe. And the man with the chisel and the stone did not know fully. And he is dead. And I am great and just.’
And the people were shocked.
‘Let this be known to ye; you shall take a test. And the test will be one of apostrophication. And all must take this test. And children won’t have to take the test.’
And the people were confused. And they looked around at each other and shrugged.
‘Let this be known to ye; you shall take the test now.’
And the people looked nervous.
‘Let this be known to ye; the question is thus “Do you know the ways of apostrophication fully?”’
And the people shouted, ‘Yes! We do, Lord! O great and just Lord, we do!’
And the Lord struck down all the adults. And the children looked up to the sky.
VIII
And a rumbling was heard from the sky. And the children said, ‘O great and just Lord, we heard a rumbling. And what was it?’
And The Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; it was nothing.’
And the children sighed with relief.
IX
The Lord said unto the children, ‘Let this be known to ye; you are children.’
And the children looked surprised.
‘Let this be known to ye; you are not as old as the adults. And hence, you are not lost to the ways of misapostrophication yet.’
And the children were gleeful, for they had hope yet. And The Lord was great and just.
And The Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; you shall seek out the mines of Southern Belgium. And they are banana mines. And you shall mine bananas to fuel your automobiles and warm up your children.’
And the children said unto The Lord, ‘But Lord, we have no children, for we are children ourselves.’
And a rumbling was heard from the sky.
X
And the children mined bananas. And The Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; you are all children.’
‘Let this be known to ye; you are all under the age of 16 and hence not corrupted by the ways of miss-apostrophication.’
And the children were happy in this knowledge.
‘Let this be known to ye; all that are of eight years old and above must move to the advanced apostrophication camps. And they are to learn of the preventative measures that shall stop the corruption. And all those under eight are to continue mining until they are eight. And then they shall move.
And the children moved.
XI
And the children of eight years old and more moved to the new camp. And the Lord said unto them, ‘Let this be known to ye; you are to learn how to stop yourselves from being corrupted.’
And the children listened attentively.
‘Let this be known to ye; the way to do this is to mate. And to have children to work in the mines to mine bananas and fuel their automobiles. And their children will grow old to mate. And their children shall mine bananas. And when you are sixteen you shall be struck down. And everyone will be happy: for this system is perfect. And I am great and just.’
And the children started mating. And a Master Race of banana gathers was born.
As a sidenote; my account's not working and I'm bored.
P.S: Help me! Help me! Account.. not... working... write.. strange.. things...
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