Take the pain out of relic raids!

[Svartmetall]

Just fill out this handy form



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Issued by the Caer Benowyc Customs, Excise, Zerging, Stealth Zerging, Adding, Invading and Generally Buggering Around In Other People’s Frontiers Port Authority

Application To Undertake A Relic Raid Form A5(RR)(M)​

Please answer all questions as accurately and completely as possible. Failure to do may result in the rejection of this application.
If you are from Hibernia you will need to complete the Application To Undertake A Relic Raid Form A5(RR)(H), available at the Albion Consulate in Tir Na Nog or from most post offices.
Please circle the appropriate answer(s) to each question in black ink (crayon is acceptable if this form is being filled out by a Troll).
This form is available in large print for Trolls.



1: Time of intended Relic attempt

a: 0800 – 1400
b: 1400 – 1800
c: 1800 – 2400
d: 2400 – 0800

NB: Option D carries the standard FFS You ACing Bastards penalty clause.


2: Will you be bringing any Warlocks?

a: Yes.
b: No.
c: What’s a Warlock?

NB: Option B may result in a higher percentage of complaints about your relic raid attempt.
NB: Option C may mean you have chosen the wrong form.


3: Intended route of Relic raiding force

a: Via Caer Erasleigh, heading for Caer Renaris
b: Via Caer Erasleigh, heading for Caer Renaris including Caer Boldiam
c: Via Caer Sursbrooke, heading for Caer Hurbury
d: Via Caer Benowyc, to Caer Berkstead, to Caer Boldiam, heading for Caer Renaris
e: Via Dun Bolg
f: What? We have to have a plan, now?

NB: if Option E, you will be assumed to have no f**king clue what you are doing.
NB: if Option F, please refer to Question 5.


4: Expected duration of Relic raid attempt

a: 2 hours
b: 4 hours
c: 6 hours
d: >6 hours

NB: if Option D, you may incur the FFS You ACing Bastards penalty clause.


5: Please state the exact Relic you intend to capture or retake

a: Excalibur’s Scabbard
b: Merlin’s Staff
c: Horn Of Valhalla
d: Thor’s Hammer
e: Lug’s Spear Of Lightning
f: Cauldron Of Dagda
g: Ooh! Shiny!

NB: if Option G, you will be assumed to have answered Question 3 with Option F.


6: Will you be complaining about overpowered enemy classes during or after your Relic raid attempt?

a: Yes.
b: No.
c: Depends if we meet any Sorcerors or not.


7: How will you respond to any potential complaints about your Relic raid attempt?

a: It’s a 24-hour war.
b: Cry more nQQbz! Mmm…your tears, they are so yummy!
c: Not our fault you had so many Monster Rezzed people about that it took us until 0700 to get the sodding thing back, is it?
d: Dreadfully sorry, we had absolutely no idea 4FGs of RR11 Warlocks were following right behind us, although we did think it was a bit odd when Caer Hurbury got turned into a cloud of gas the size of Nebraska by our first trebuchet salvo. And I suppose the mushroom cloud where Castle Sauvage used to be should have been a dead giveaway.

NB: if Option D, you may incur the Gratuitous Aliens Quote penalty clause.



Thank you for completing this form. Your application will be processed in due course. You will be notified in writing as to the result of your application.


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[Arethir]

Just the way i like em.

1: Time of intended Relic attempt
d: 2400 – 0800

2: Will you be bringing any Warlocks?
a: Yes.

3: Intended route of Relic raiding force
f: What? We have to have a plan, now?

4: Expected duration of Relic raid attempt
d: >6 hours

5: Please state the exact Relic you intend to capture or retake
g: Ooh! Shiny!

6: Will you be complaining about overpowered enemy classes during or after your Relic raid attempt?
a: Yes.



7: How will you respond to any potential complaints about your Relic raid attempt?
c: Not our fault you had so many Monster Rezzed people about that it took us until 0700 to get the sodding thing back, is it?

 

[Bluesky]

roflmfao - absolutely fecking CLASSIC stuff svart - loved it - you have seriously outdone yourself this time. I'd quote the outstanding bits but its not worth it cos there would be too many :worthy:

and DAMN FH for "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Svartmetall again."

 

[Calo]

hehe funny

 

[Athalas]

Quality!!!

 

[Gungo]

LMAO nice one Svart

 

[Dorimor1]

Funny stuff svart

 

[adoNix]

"haha" and evryone laughed :\

 

[thaaadi]

hehe

 

[Belomar]

Hehe. This is spookily close to the US I-94 visit form.

"Are you, or were you ever, a member of Nazi-Germany? [] Yes -- [] Ok, you got me -- [] No, I pwomise!"

 

[Dukat]

pretty damned awesome! :worthy:

 

[Mundokar]

Why cant i get that John Cleese face out of my mind when the question about the 4FG rr11 Warlocks is mentioned.


Answer 7D

 

[Iorlas]

Funny very good

 

[Tosi]

Excellent! Ooh shiny!

 

[AngelHeal]

Hehe. This is spookily close to the US I-94 visit form.

"Are you, or were you ever, a member of Nazi-Germany? [] Yes -- [] Ok, you got me -- [] No, I pwomise!"

huh? i don't get it

 

[Flimgoblin]

fantastic, easily adapted to any other realm as well

 

[tierk]

 

[Loppis]

Nice comeback from the 3-day ban
Rofl big time.
Our guild is blessed with your person.

Loppis

 

[Kathal]

lol funny stuff

And thx for the support Dukat (I'm thinking of your Avatar).

 

[Chronictank]

lol!

 

[Flimgoblin]

For after the next alb relic take on mid:
(hurrah for search and replace, I'll let someone else make a hib form )

Keep names changed, Sorcerers->warlocks, warlocks->sorcerers, monster rezzed zombies->warlocks. Couple of cosmetic changes to the form numbers etc. and voila!

Issued by the Bledmeer Faste Customs, Excise, Zerging, Stealth Zerging, Adding, Invading and Generally Buggering Around In Other People’s Frontiers Port Authority

Application To Undertake A Relic Raid Form M5(RR)(A)

Please answer all questions as accurately and completely as possible. Failure to do may result in the rejection of this application.
If you are from Hibernia you will need to complete the Application To Undertake A Relic Raid Form M5(RR)(H), available at the Midgard Consulate in Tir Na Nog or from most post offices.
Please circle the appropriate answer(s) to each question in black ink (crayon is acceptable if this form is being filled out by a Half-ogre).
This form is available in large print for Half-ogres.



1: Time of intended Relic attempt

a: 0800 – 1400
b: 1400 – 1800
c: 1800 – 2400
d: 2400 – 0800

NB: Option D carries the standard FFS You ACing Bastards penalty clause.


2: Will you be bringing any Sorcerers?

a: Yes.
b: No.
c: What’s a Sorcerer?

NB: Option B may result in a higher percentage of complaints about your relic raid attempt.
NB: Option C may mean you have chosen the wrong form.


3: Intended route of Relic raiding force

a: Via Blendrake Faste, heading for Arvarkr Faste
b: Via Blendrake Faste heading for Arvarkr Faste including Glenlock Faste
c: Via Hlidskialf Faste, heading for Fensalir Faste
d: Via Bledmeer Faste, to Nottmoor Faste, to Glenlock Faste, heading for Arvarkr Faste
e: Via Dun Bolg
f: What? We have to have a plan, now?

NB: if Option E, you will be assumed to have no f**king clue what you are doing.
NB: if Option F, please refer to Question 5.


4: Expected duration of Relic raid attempt

a: 2 hours
b: 4 hours
c: 6 hours
d: >6 hours

NB: if Option D, you may incur the FFS You ACing Bastards penalty clause.


5: Please state the exact Relic you intend to capture or retake

a: Excalibur’s Scabbard
b: Merlin’s Staff
c: Horn Of Valhalla
d: Thor’s Hammer
e: Lug’s Spear Of Lightning
f: Cauldron Of Dagda
g: Ooh! Shiny!

NB: if Option G, you will be assumed to have answered Question 3 with Option F.


6: Will you be complaining about overpowered enemy classes during or after your Relic raid attempt?

a: Yes.
b: No.
c: Depends if we meet any Warlocks or not.


7: How will you respond to any potential complaints about your Relic raid attempt?

a: It’s a 24-hour war.
b: Cry more nQQbz! Mmm…your tears, they are so yummy!
c: Not our fault you had so many Warlocks about that it took us until 0700 to get the sodding thing back, is it?
d: Dreadfully sorry, we had absolutely no idea 4FGs of RR11 Sorcerers were following right behind us, although we did think it was a bit odd when Fensalir Faste got turned into a cloud of gas the size of Nebraska by our first trebuchet salvo. And I suppose the mushroom cloud where Vindsaul Faste used to be should have been a dead giveaway.

NB: if Option D, you may incur the Gratuitous Aliens Quote penalty clause.



Thank you for completing this form. Your application will be processed in due course. You will be notified in writing as to the result of your application.