Star Wars - How the fuck does this work then?!!!

S

Scouse

Guest
Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun brought up young Luke and hid him from the Empire. (I'm presuming she changed her name when she got married).

"Uncle" Owen.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but HOW THE FUCK does Lars = Skywalker as a surname??

It says (on the official star wars webbie) that Anakin was Shmi's only son, so we looked at Beru and she's a whitesun so WHO THE FUCK is the brother or sister in the brother or sister relationship that is needed to make him an "uncle".


Or is he an "uncle" in the Mac Lad's "Uncle Nobby" child-abusing sense???
 
W

WPKenny

Guest
Maybe it's not a blood tie.

There's plenty of people who associate themselves closly with families and end up getting called "aunt" and "uncle" by the kids as they grow up even if there is no blood tie there.
 
W

Wij

Guest
omg, how incredibly sad !

stop making me angry !!! :eek:
 
W

WPKenny

Guest
Don't mind him. He's a miserable fucker.

OI! WIJ¬!"!¬21 How did you get out of your cage.

*gets big stick*

BACK! Get back in there!!

*beats Wij around head*

*sees trickle of blood from head of broken body*

*ingore*

*closes cage door*
 
S

Scouse

Guest
Aye - the non-blood tie had occured to me, but the Butt-Plug sitting next to me said that's not it.

When I said I think it is - he said it shouldn't be.

The assmaster! Mr Lucas is free to fuck up his franchise any way he wants to!

Anyone else (who's sadder than me) know different?
 
S

Sar

Guest
Cliegg Lars was the husband of Shmi after Anakin left to become a Jedi.

Clieggs son, Owen, was dating Beru when Shmi, his stepmother, was killed.

Padme gives birth to Luke and Leia after Anakin is critically injured fighting Obi Wan over a lava pit - into which he falls, which is why he requires a lot of mechanical breathing apparatus to keep him alive - He becomes a sith and adopts the Sith tradition of Darth names (following Darth Sidious (Palpatine) Darth Dooku (Chris Lee) and Darth Maul and so on), calling himself Darth Vader.

Padme is left with her two infants on her own, knowing that Vader will eventually come for both of them in time. She gives her daughter, Leia, to her close friend Senator Bail Organa to raise as his own daughter. She knows the Lars & Shmi, and gives her son to Cliegg & Owen a while after Shmis death to raise away from the empire, hoping he can have a happy and long life well away from any involvement with his father or the Jedi.

Ben Kenobi remains nearby the boy to keep a distant watch on him to ensure his safety.

20 years pass, Vader grows in strength as the apprentice of his new master - Darth Sidious, who has now made himself Emperor of the Federal Republic, which turns it into an Empire...


Thus begins Episode 4: A New Hope.
 
K

kanonfodda

Guest
And I thought Iwas a sad arsed Star Wars fan!!!

Nice One Sar :0)
 
X

xane

Guest
It does sound confusing, as Luke instroduces himself to Leia as "Luke Skywalker" when they rescue her, you'd have thought that the first thing you'd do to hide Mr Skywalker's son (a.k.a. Vader's son) is to not actually call him "Skywalker".
 
S

Sar

Guest
Well maybe Padme dies shortly after giving birth, and the Lars take Luke to raise as their own, never knowing the need to hide his heritage.
 
M

Munkey-

Guest
actually. its a theory that they let him keep his name of "skywalker" as bait to attract Darth Vader so ben konobi could defeat him.........or someit like that.

its in a star-wars book anyway
 
S

Sar

Guest
Alternatively he could have called himself Luke Underhill, but Gandalf, er, Ben Kenobi never told him not to :p
 
S

Sar

Guest
Well that's the storyline of Episode 3 in a nutshell - 2005 prolly :)
 
K

kanonfodda

Guest
Would you kick her out of bed?

no, me neither!
 
C

caLLous

Guest
Trouble is getting her there in the first place. :(
 
S

Scouse

Guest
Yeah - I knew the back story Sar - but ta for the Cliegg Lars crap :)

As for Nathalie Portman - I kicked her out of bed the other day. I can't stand her eating toast in it - all the crumbs get everywhere.

:p
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
what I'd like to know is this:

if Luke and Leia are so very force-sensitive, why is it that they didn't feel they were b&s?
 
S

Sar

Guest
Doesn't work that way, you can only sense the force ability in others, and only that is possible by trained Jedi.

What I would like to know is this: How the FUCK did the entire Jedi council not sense Palpatines very very powerful Force ability? Especially if you see in the trailer half the council sat not 5ft away from him.
 
O

old.Fweddy

Guest
hard to see the dark side is. or something to that effect
 
S

Sar

Guest
Even so, force ability is force ability - Luke could feel Vaders presence because of his force ability, so why can't 8 Jedi Masters feel 1 mans ability between em?

Midichlorians got their tongues?

:/
 
O

old.Fweddy

Guest
maybe he filtered out his Midichlorians and kept them in a jar in his bedroom when he wasn't being evil?
 
M

Moving Target

Guest
NO!!11 ITS REAL!!1 DONT LIE!! LIAR!!11 OMG!
 
S

Stazbumpa

Guest
Or maybe its because Lucas keeps writing himself into a corner and can't be arsed to sort the mess out, instead giving us masses of eye candy to try and drown out his ineptitude as a writer.




I'm with those guys that are petitioning for Lucas to relinquish his rights to Star Wars and hand it over to Peter Jackson, whom we love and trust implicitly.
 
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