Self Harming

[Tilda]

After a bit of advice here really;

A friend of mine has been very down for the last couple of months and is going to councelling and on anti-depressants.
When I went over to her house thismorning she told me what a bad weekend she had.
Then I noticed on her Right arm a series of scratches, and one bigger cut that looked lastier. I'm pretty sure that they're not accidental.

Any suggestions as to what I do?

I feel I should tell her Dr, and explain to her she shouldnt do it and that I dont like her doing it, but then I'm worried that if I do that, then she'll just withdraw further and hide more stuff from me.

Any ideas?

 

[Clown]

Man, at first glance I thought it said Self Humming.

Anyway, not to piss on a serious thread, my sister did this when she was getting bullied. I told her to stop being an idiot and laughed at her. This worked because I know that she's too pussy to do anything more than scratch.

 

[Formash]

Man, at first glance I thought it said Self Humming.

Anyway, not to piss on a serious thread

Too late.. you hit the send button.

Tilda, I'm only going by what a friend told me happened to them, and how they coped.

trying to bring it out into the open is generally good - as it helps them get it off their chest if they feel they can confide in someone. Just explain you've noticed it, and were worried, etc.

i would suggest asking to go along to a doctors appointment with her. You may find she'll feel happier with someone else there with her when she talks about life to the DOC / therapist.

Also - and this is a big gamble... say something like - 'i know how you feel, ive been through the same thing' - two people who share an 'interest' (for want of a better word) can make conversation about the same thing, whereas one person doesn't make for a good 2 way chat, if u get my drift, even if its a little white lie, you may find she opens up a bit more.

hope that helps...

 

[Guest]

go with her to the dr's and see if you can sort it out, talk to her first and if you have her trust she will go with you to get help.

There must be a reason for all of this, she may or may not want to tell you about it.

 

[Damini]

Don't force the issue on this. Open up the possibility for her to talk to you about it, but don't force her to, be angry with her for doing it, lecture her, or threaten her with repercussions if she does it again. How about asking her if she has discussed it with her doctor/counsellor, rather than approaching the doctors directly?

Self harming is a very emotive subject, and it can be terrifying for someone watching it happen to a friend, but you need to realise it isn't a suicide attempt, it is a way of externalising something that's hard to verbalise, and its a kind of safety valve in a way. Because it goes against the human nature of self preservation and avoiding harm, people instinctively react very extremely to it.

The best thing you can do is listen, talk, be there, and offer her someone to talk to when it gets on top of her. Self harmers usually act that way because there isn't many alternative ways to let all their frustration/self loathing out. The last thing you want to do is to make her feel even more ashamed about their behaviour.

 

[old.Tohtori]

You want to feel SOMETHING, anything. Pain is good as any when you feel that the world has left and you're sitting at the docks wondering "where the f*ck is everyone". It's not about "oh i'm not pretty" or "the guy doesn't like me", it's because there's no reason to be around.

Need the reason, need something or someone to tell you that there are people who give a f*ck, need to know there IS someone who loves you, and not in that family way, need to know that there CAN be something else then the cold darkplace you've been falling into, helplesly as noone notices, and how could they, you're too proud to say anything. Everyone wants to survive on their own.

Wish they noticed...anyone...
Wish i felt...anything.

 

[haarewin]

Don't force the issue on this. Open up the possibility for her to talk to you about it, but don't force her to, be angry with her for doing it, lecture her, or threaten her with repercussions if she does it again. How about asking her if she has discussed it with her doctor/counsellor, rather than approaching the doctors directly?

Self harming is a very emotive subject, and it can be terrifying for someone watching it happen to a friend, but you need to realise it isn't a suicide attempt, it is a way of externalising something that's hard to verbalise, and its a kind of safety valve in a way. Because it goes against the human nature of self preservation and avoiding harm, people instinctively react very extremely to it.

The best thing you can do is listen, talk, be there, and offer her someone to talk to when it gets on top of her. Self harmers usually act that way because there isn't many alternative ways to let all their frustration/self loathing out. The last thing you want to do is to make her feel even more ashamed about their behaviour.

very good advice. was gonna say something along those lines but theres no point now.

 

[Conchabar]

I'm a twat!