Santa Question.

[Trem]

When I was younger I had a book about Santa. He lived in a kind of terraced house and he had a big cat that he really doted on. Lasting images are the cat lying on his feet and weaving in and out of his legs. The Santa geezer was really REALLY miserable. I remember him going to his coalshed and stuff like that.

I also remember they made a one off cartoon about it, really well animated and just as I imagined in my head.

If anyone knows the title of this book or animation please let me know. Racking my brain to try and remembe it.

It is something I want to find for my son when hes a bit older.

 

[babs]

Wasn't it the Raymond Briggs one? Father Christmas. There was other ones like Father Christmas goes on Holiday.

 

[Trem]

I fucking love you.

I should of just asked you in the first place.

Note to self :

Any questions about beardy blokes.....ask Babsy.

 

[Jonaldo]

But Raymond Briggs is a leg (pronounced 'lej' on this occasion). Just ask Aled Jones or any random snowpersons you pass on your wanderings.



edit: Although he did do that rather depressing animation about the an old couple experiencing a nuclear explosio if I remember correctly.. Scared the shit out of me as a kid, I was paranoid we were about to go to war.

 

[Ch3tan]

I have a picture about beardy blokes Mr babs. What is up with the beardy picture of tdc?

 

[Sockstuff]

edit: Although he did do that rather depressing animation about the an old couple experiencing a nuclear explosio if I remember correctly.. Scared the shit out of me as a kid, I was paranoid we were about to go to war.

Me too! Nasty stuff to watch as a kid.

 

[TdC]

I have a picture about beardy blokes Mr babs. What is up with the beardy picture of tdc?

it's a girl thing. you wouldn't understand

 

[DaGaffer]

But Raymond Briggs is a leg (pronounced 'lej' on this occasion). Just ask Aled Jones or any random snowpersons you pass on your wanderings.



edit: Although he did do that rather depressing animation about the an old couple experiencing a nuclear explosio if I remember correctly.. Scared the shit out of me as a kid, I was paranoid we were about to go to war.

When The Wind Blows

 

[Jupitus]

I always preferred Fungus the Bogeyman tbpfh

 

[dysfunction]

When The Wind Blows

I enjoyed the book of that even though its quite dark...

 

[Trem]

Ok, that isn't FUCKING SANTA IS IT????

 

[nath]

I enjoyed the book of that even though its quite dark...

Quite dark??? Quite bloody dark?

It's fucking miserable :\

 

[Sharma]

I always preferred Fungus the Bogeyman tbpfh

I loved that book, it was so....cool.

 

[Mazling]

The Curse of the Vampire's Socks

 

[Lazarus]

VERY VERY OLD AND VERY GLENNDOM!!! but very fitting at this time of year

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
=========================

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average
(census)
rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously
slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.