Santa claus does NOT exist!

Devilseye

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
850
Since it still wasnt sure if he existed.. lemme try to explain.

Reindeers
Theres no living proof of reindeers that can fly, There are about 300.000 diffrent creatures on earth that can.
Most of those living organisms are insects. The reindeers of santa show no comparison to insects at all (size/wings etc)

Childeren
There are about 2.000.000.000 childeren (= below 18 years old) on this planet.
Since Santa doesnt visit Moslims/jewish/hindustani/buddhist childeren. his work pressure has dropped by 85%. aka.. 378.000.000 childeren (source: Population Reference Bureau).
With an average of 3,5 childeren per household this is a bout 91.800.000 houses to visit for santa (assuming atleast 1 child per household has been nice).

Time
Santa has, assuming he works from east to west, 31hours on x-mas eve.
Since there are diffrent timezones, and since the globe is spinning. he has to visit 822.6 houses per SECOND!. that means.. Santa has 0.001 sec to park his sledge,hop out, climb through the maybe not even existing chimney. fill the socks, place the other presents under the tree. eating the snacks that the childeren layed down for him. climb back up the chimney. hop back in the sledge. and rush to the other house.
Assuming those 91.800.000 houses are all equaly spread (distance) around the globe. it would mean he has to travel 1.25km per house. that means the average speed of the sledge is about 3.000.000 Kilometeres an hour!. thats equal to 3.000x the speed of sound.
And keep in mind. a normal reindeer travels around 24kmh..
this all doesnt include taking a toilet break every now and then. and eat like every normal human being does.

Presents
The sledge is very interesting!.
If every child doesnt get more than 1 box of lego.. the sledge would weigh roughly said. 321.000 TONNES!.. that doesnt even include santa's weight!
On land. an average reindeer can carry about 150kilo's..
Assuming a flying reindeer (see my 1st statement in "presents") can carry atleast 10 times as much as a normal reindeer. Santa would NEVER make it with 8 or 9 reindeers.
he'll need atleast 214.000 of them..
Which brings the total weight around 353.430 Tonnes.!

laws of nature
353.430 tonnes traveling at 3.000.000 KMH will definatly cause problems with the airo-dynamics.
The reindeers with burn down the same way as asteroids which go though our atmos..
The first reindeer couple will by that absorb millions of Joules of energy, Per second (to keep things clear) they'll instantly Incinerate. and cause an enormous blast (sound barrier).
which will make the 2nd couple the first ones in line. and the whole reindeer population would evaporate within 0.00426 second.
Santa would come face to face with a centrifugal force that is about 17.500x normal gravity
A 125kg weighing santa (which sounds redicilously slim) would be pushed against the back of his sledge with 2.157.508 kilo's!


Conclusion
If santa ever did bring presents.. he's definatly dead now!


(translated this from a Dutch DJ called: Patrick Kicken)
:worthy:
 

Adari

Part of the furniture
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
1,649
that was absolutely hilarious

in a not really kinda of way.
 

psyco

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jun 18, 2005
Messages
3,310
im sure many parents will be angry with you

though, im pritty sure he is said to have magical powers and able to do anything so this isn't really proof:p

Devilseye said:
Since Santa doesnt visit Moslims/jewish/hindustani/buddhist childeren. his work pressure has dropped by 85%

many non-christian children still get/celebrate x-mas :twak:

though all that 'proof' is meaningless, the real nail in the coffin is
children in the 3rd world dont get x-mas presents
 

swords

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
4,337
Science isn't funny :(
Physics doubly so...
 

Smellysox

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
May 29, 2004
Messages
863
Devilseye said:
Since it still wasnt sure if he existed.. lemme try to explain.

Reindeers
Theres no living proof of reindeers that can fly, There are about 300.000 diffrent creatures on earth that can.
Most of those living organisms are insects. The reindeers of santa show no comparison to insects at all (size/wings etc)

Childeren
There are about 2.000.000.000 childeren (= below 18 years old) on this planet.
Since Santa doesnt visit Moslims/jewish/hindustani/buddhist childeren. his work pressure has dropped by 85%. aka.. 378.000.000 childeren (source: Population Reference Bureau).
With an average of 3,5 childeren per household this is a bout 91.800.000 houses to visit for santa (assuming atleast 1 child per household has been nice).

Time
Santa has, assuming he works from east to west, 31hours on x-mas eve.
Since there are diffrent timezones, and since the globe is spinning. he has to visit 822.6 houses per SECOND!. that means.. Santa has 0.001 sec to park his sledge,hop out, climb through the maybe not even existing chimney. fill the socks, place the other presents under the tree. eating the snacks that the childeren layed down for him. climb back up the chimney. hop back in the sledge. and rush to the other house.
Assuming those 91.800.000 houses are all equaly spread (distance) around the globe. it would mean he has to travel 1.25km per house. that means the average speed of the sledge is about 3.000.000 Kilometeres an hour!. thats equal to 3.000x the speed of sound.
And keep in mind. a normal reindeer travels around 24kmh..
this all doesnt include taking a toilet break every now and then. and eat like every normal human being does.

Presents
The sledge is very interesting!.
If every child doesnt get more than 1 box of lego.. the sledge would weigh roughly said. 321.000 TONNES!.. that doesnt even include santa's weight!
On land. an average reindeer can carry about 150kilo's..
Assuming a flying reindeer (see my 1st statement in "presents") can carry atleast 10 times as much as a normal reindeer. Santa would NEVER make it with 8 or 9 reindeers.
he'll need atleast 214.000 of them..
Which brings the total weight around 353.430 Tonnes.!

laws of nature
353.430 tonnes traveling at 3.000.000 KMH will definatly cause problems with the airo-dynamics.
The reindeers with burn down the same way as asteroids which go though our atmos..
The first reindeer couple will by that absorb millions of Joules of energy, Per second (to keep things clear) they'll instantly Incinerate. and cause an enormous blast (sound barrier).
which will make the 2nd couple the first ones in line. and the whole reindeer population would evaporate within 0.00426 second.
Santa would come face to face with a centrifugal force that is about 17.500x normal gravity
A 125kg weighing santa (which sounds redicilously slim) would be pushed against the back of his sledge with 2.157.508 kilo's!


Conclusion
If santa ever did bring presents.. he's definatly dead now!


(translated this from a Dutch DJ called: Patrick Kicken)
:worthy:
u bastard ! :(
 

>.< Pooned

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Nov 12, 2005
Messages
1,231
u never got a present at X-Mas? or ur really bored dont u? xd
 

Devilseye

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
850
aint my words that jewish ppl etc dont celebrate x-mas etc..
i just translated this stuff from dutch to english.. hope i succeeded a bit ;)
but found it rather amusing
 

d@n.dk

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jul 12, 2006
Messages
365
Santa claus does NOT exist!
a16.gif


Sure he does... And he is playing DAoC as a Minst. in fact he is planning to be L50 the 24/12

But i know who don`t have to stay up and wait for presents
a1259.gif




(Julemanden... is Santa Claus in Danish )
 

zinna

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Mar 15, 2006
Messages
9
There is only 1 thing:

Has anyone actually got a prezzie from santa?
 

Smellysox

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
May 29, 2004
Messages
863
zinna said:
There is only 1 thing:

Has anyone actually got a prezzie from santa?
You mean to say you havent ever ? you must have been a bad muva fuska !
 

Sharaft

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 5, 2005
Messages
706
Have anyone wondered why santa appears in MANY households at the same time? maybe its time to actually think that he is your father?
 

Imgormiel

Part of the furniture
Joined
Apr 18, 2004
Messages
4,372
Sharaft said:
Have anyone wondered why santa appears in MANY households at the same time? maybe its time to actually think that he is your father?

Finally some has discovered the mystery of Dr Who....

and yes the original poster is a bastard :( Santa forgot to gimme a job last christmas so this christmas for me is cancelled >(

You want mince pies santa go get em from someone that feels generous enough to pl your ass to 50 imo cuz you can FO for em at my house QQ :p
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
psyco said:
though all that 'proof' is meaningless, the real nail in the coffin is
children in the 3rd world dont get x-mas presents

that maybe cos they dont have houses for santa to break and enter into
 

Talsar

Albion Legend
Joined
Feb 6, 2004
Messages
948
He does excist! he uses his "time dilation device" which means he has all the time in the world to make his deliveries! - that old christmas magic.
 

Gamah

Banned
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
13,042
A man in a red suit appeared at the end of my bed one xmas eve and demanded I shake his pet snake.

I shook it for about 5 min, but I think I did bad because it was sick all over my face.
 

CorNokZ

Currently a stay at home dad
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
19,779
tris- said:
that maybe cos they dont have houses for santa to break and enter into
Or they've all been really really bad :(
 

Sean

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jul 4, 2006
Messages
1,359
Devilseye said:
Since it still wasnt sure if he existed.. lemme try to explain.

Reindeers
Theres no living proof of reindeers that can fly, There are about 300.000 diffrent creatures on earth that can.
Most of those living organisms are insects. The reindeers of santa show no comparison to insects at all (size/wings etc)

Childeren
There are about 2.000.000.000 childeren (= below 18 years old) on this planet.
Since Santa doesnt visit Moslims/jewish/hindustani/buddhist childeren. his work pressure has dropped by 85%. aka.. 378.000.000 childeren (source: Population Reference Bureau).
With an average of 3,5 childeren per household this is a bout 91.800.000 houses to visit for santa (assuming atleast 1 child per household has been nice).

Time
Santa has, assuming he works from east to west, 31hours on x-mas eve.
Since there are diffrent timezones, and since the globe is spinning. he has to visit 822.6 houses per SECOND!. that means.. Santa has 0.001 sec to park his sledge,hop out, climb through the maybe not even existing chimney. fill the socks, place the other presents under the tree. eating the snacks that the childeren layed down for him. climb back up the chimney. hop back in the sledge. and rush to the other house.
Assuming those 91.800.000 houses are all equaly spread (distance) around the globe. it would mean he has to travel 1.25km per house. that means the average speed of the sledge is about 3.000.000 Kilometeres an hour!. thats equal to 3.000x the speed of sound.
And keep in mind. a normal reindeer travels around 24kmh..
this all doesnt include taking a toilet break every now and then. and eat like every normal human being does.

Presents
The sledge is very interesting!.
If every child doesnt get more than 1 box of lego.. the sledge would weigh roughly said. 321.000 TONNES!.. that doesnt even include santa's weight!
On land. an average reindeer can carry about 150kilo's..
Assuming a flying reindeer (see my 1st statement in "presents") can carry atleast 10 times as much as a normal reindeer. Santa would NEVER make it with 8 or 9 reindeers.
he'll need atleast 214.000 of them..
Which brings the total weight around 353.430 Tonnes.!

laws of nature
353.430 tonnes traveling at 3.000.000 KMH will definatly cause problems with the airo-dynamics.
The reindeers with burn down the same way as asteroids which go though our atmos..
The first reindeer couple will by that absorb millions of Joules of energy, Per second (to keep things clear) they'll instantly Incinerate. and cause an enormous blast (sound barrier).
which will make the 2nd couple the first ones in line. and the whole reindeer population would evaporate within 0.00426 second.
Santa would come face to face with a centrifugal force that is about 17.500x normal gravity
A 125kg weighing santa (which sounds redicilously slim) would be pushed against the back of his sledge with 2.157.508 kilo's!


Conclusion
If santa ever did bring presents.. he's definatly dead now!


(translated this from a Dutch DJ called: Patrick Kicken)
:worthy:

sad, very sad :m00:
 

d@n.dk

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jul 12, 2006
Messages
365
d@n.dk said:
Santa claus does NOT exist!
a16.gif


Sure he does... And he is playing DAoC as a Minst. in fact he is planning to be L50 the 24/12

But i know who don`t have to stay up and wait for presents
a1259.gif




(Julemanden... is Santa Claus in Danish )

julemand L50.JPG

Well guys... Santa is ready.......so watch out... Its Xmas time

Merry Christmas everyone...
t79.gif
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom