Resignation Letter

[phazey]

So, the time has come. I just secured a new job - will have another week off current work, then go back and quit at the end of the month. I've never had to write a letter of resignation before, so any pointers - and not "so long and thanks for all the fish" stuff pls

 

[Jupitus]

Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superior shares an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself, and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new Mac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp-dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting points.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. Ib elieve that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow, not ONE minute later. One word of this to anybody and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*ck with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

Sincerely,



Ted Brewer

 

[Dukat]

Mr. Baker,


FUK U MEIGHTER!
:kissit:

Ted Brewer

Fixed

More seriously though: I-resign.com - Free Resignation Letter Templates and Sample Resignation Letters

Might be of some small use if you haven't seen it yet Haha think my boss just saw me browsing that "i resign" site!

 

[Chilly]

dont get executed phazey mate.

 

[Cadelin]

So, the time has come. I just secured a new job - will have another week off current work, then go back and quit at the end of the month. I've never had to write a letter of resignation before, so any pointers - and not "so long and thanks for all the fish" stuff pls

One bit of advice. Don't say anything negative. What you say in this letter maybe how you are remembered. Especially if in 1 or 2 years time you apply for another job and they need a reference from your 2 previous employers (or something similar). It is not a time to complain or joke. You have made your decision and are now simply informing them. I would look at a template and use something similar.

 

[Draylor]

Short, sweet, and to the point.

If its any longer than your first post in this thread youve done it wrong.

 

[taB]

Short, sweet, and to the point.

If its any longer than your first post in this thread youve done it wrong.

This basically, anything else can be explained verbally, like reasons etc... A short, succinct note on your record is all that's needed.

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

what about

"i always hated this military junta but the money was good and i liked all the blokes that protected with me with the big fuck off guns ?

unfortunately i want to go work somewhere that has a better record on human rights"

 

[Chilly]

even commies need the internet yo.

whats the new job btw ?

 

[Bahumat]

Dear Sir,

I can't work in an environment knowing you have no idea your nan is cheating on your granddad with me.

All my love

ManBearPig

 

[TdC]

Dear Sir,

yuo crave teh coc.

Sincerely,



Ted Brewer

 

[Sharma]

Mine recently was more or less "I'm leaving to go to uni in a month, bye!".

 

[Bahumat]

Mine recently was more or less "I'm leaving to go for a Parmo, bye!".

Fixed that for ya!

 

[mycenae]

Dear Sir/Madam/Boss...
Please accept this letter as confirmation of my resignation, effective immediatly/in a month/weeks/however longs/date time.
Yours sincerely,
Me

Thats all it needs to be

 

[dysfunction]

Dear Sir/Madam/Boss...
Please accept this letter as confirmation of my resignation, effective immediatly/in a month/weeks/however longs/date time.
Yours sincerely,
Me

Thats all it needs to be

Exactly right...you dont need to add anything else.
The less you have in there the better really.

 

[Faeldawn]

Dear Sir/Madam/Boss...
Please accept this letter as confirmation of my resignation, effective immediatly/in a month/weeks/however longs/date time.
Yours sincerely,
Me

Thats all it needs to be

Absolutely, keep it short and to the point. Thats all you need.

Some people write rambling diatrobs. All that does is burn bridges and piss people off.

Bottom line, your leaving, there is no need to make things worse for those who are staying by writing a "reveal-all" quit letter. Be the bigger person, keep your dignity.

 

[Zedenz]

Handed one in myself just a month or so back.

As already stated, it only needs to be a sentence or two. I think I added something like "thanks...blah blah" and some well wishing at the end.

Make sure you state your official leaving date as per your notice period. It was two months for me personally.

Consult your contract.

The above is correct in regards to bridge burning also, you may need a reference at some point!