Request

S

Scooba Da Bass

Guest
Could the forums be less shit, and more less shit please?

I've just read 10 threads, and most of them feature posts that should be put down.

Seriously, be better/funnier please
 
M

Moving Target

Guest
Originally posted by Scooba Da Bass
Could the forums be less shit, and more less shit please?
Click to expand...

Er..that's a negative!
 
O

old.D0LLySh33p

Guest
That's your answer to everything these days :)
 
M

Moving Target

Guest
Originally posted by Scooba Da Bass
Alright, I'll go away then
Click to expand...

Asking the question is counter-productive, Perplex said the same thing...and look whats happened!

This was once a happy place, where the sea breeze blew in my face, and the seagulls croaked in the distance!
 
G

GDW

Guest
Scooba like this you mean

A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off to the
doctors.

"Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag. "Hmm,
you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test and see what that shows, come back and see me in a couple of days."

The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the
results.

"What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag.

"I'm afraid you are HIV positive!" said the doctor.

"No, I can't be I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper
bag.

"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.

"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!"

"Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?"

"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just a little paper
bag!"

Then there can be only one explanation." said the doctor


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This is good - wait for it

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"Your mother must have been a carrier;)

/edit or theres this
 
L

legendario

Guest
You want the forums to be less shit so you start a shit thread....

I dont see the logic in that.
 
X

Xtro

Guest
well I've just had a good shit whilst reading a bit of a shit book and then sat down in front of my shit pc to read this shit thread.

ffs :(
 
S

Scooba Da Bass

Guest
heh that was a terrible joke, and Daf, GIVE ME FIZZY COLA BOTTLE SWEETS!
 
B

bodhi

Guest
I could be the James Dean of the music scene.









Would that make them better?
 
C

Cloak_

Guest
Monkey- you really know how to spank the monkey :clap:
 
X

xane

Guest
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor I have five penises", the Doctor says "how do your trousers fit ?" and he says "like a glove !"
 
W

Wilier

Guest
Originally posted by Moving Target



This was once a happy place, where the sea breeze blew in my face, and the seagulls croaked in the distance!
Click to expand...

but now they shit in your face, and you loovvvvee it.
 
L

legendario

Guest
For the record scooba you bag of intellect and wit,

I wash everyday and use deodorant (anti perspirant too)
 
W

Wilier

Guest
Originally posted by legendario
For the record scooba you bag of intellect and wit,

I wash everyday and use deodorant (anti perspirant too)
Click to expand...

Anti-perspirant will kill you. It blocks the glands under your pits and after extended use (approx 130 years) could cause cancer.

Stick with the deoderant mate.
 
L

Lester

Guest
Joke......(just)


Bloke wlks into a bar and says to the barkeep in a strangled and hoarse voice "whisky"

"pardon?" says the barkeep, leaning forward.

"whisky" says the man.

"oh ok. whats wrong with your throat if you don't mind me asking?"

The man lifts up his head and points to a horrendous scar on his neck, "Falklands" he says,in his croaky voice.

Impressed, the barkeep shouts up "hey everyone, this brave guy fought in the falklands!!" whereupon they all start chucking money into a pint pot.

The money comes back to the barkeep and he says" there you go mate,you won't pay for a drink in this bar"

The bloke leans forward and huskily whispers "Gracias!"
 
P

prime1

Guest
In this out of the way village there was a INJIN called "onestone".
This was his Indian name because he had only one testicle. After
years and years of this torment onestone cracked and said, "If anyone calls me onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him onestone any more.

Then one day a young girl forgot and said, "Good morning
onestone."
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest, where he shagged her all day, he shagged her all night, he shagged her all the next day, until she died from exhaustion. The word got around that onestone meant business.

Years went by until a woman returned to the village after many years away.
She was overjoyed when she saw onestone and hugged him and said,
"Good to see you onestone." Again, onestone grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he shagged her all day, shagged her all night, shagged her all the next day, shagged her all the next night, but she wouldn't die!

What is the moral of the story?
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> > > > You can't kill two birds with one stone.
 
D

djpringle

Guest
Shamlessly stolem from another forum

A burglar breaks into a house one night. He is going about his busines of shining his torch, identifying valuables and recycling them into his swag-bag. Suddenly a voice cries out "Jesus is watching you!". He switches off his torch and stands stock still. After a few minutes of total silence he gets back down to business but again is interrupted by "Jesus is watching you!".

He shines his torch around and in the corner of the room, the beam of the torch comes to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hisses at the parrot. "Yes," the parrot confesses, and squawks: "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxes. "Warn me? Who do think you are anyway?" "Moses," replies the bird.

"Moses," the burglar laughs, "what sort of idiots would call a parrot Moses?"

"The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus," says the parrot. !!!!!
 
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