Pimp

T

Teh Fonz!!1

Guest
The BNP article alone is worth looking at the site...

Top stuff.
 
J

Jonaldo

Guest
Originally posted by Damini
I've finally got my arse in gear and done some more writing.
Click to expand...


This is one of those phrases that has never really made much sense to me :)

Your arse... has gears... ? nerf maybe? or go see a doctor :p
 
P

Pixie.Pebr

Guest
What happened to the orange Damini??

Almost hurt me as bad as when seeing BW in ugly black... :(

Stories are still good though :D
 
J

Jupitus

Guest
Well Damini... looks like the forumites have left an everlasting stamp on you:


University is going to spit me out into the real world(tm) soon
Click to expand...


... I think you owe us a commitment to include at least one ForumiteTM (tm) in every story or article you write from now on ;)
 
J

Jiggs

Guest
that sci-fi thing reminds me a bit of ben hatch for some reason
 
O

old.LandShark

Guest
And an oaf.
*coughs*
You know, it took me about 10 minutes of idle speculation to work out that your URL was 'bleeding ego' and not any other combination of those letters. Not that any other combination makes sense.
Hmm, </ramble>
 
J

Jiggs

Guest
chinese provebs



Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
 
F

Flimgoblin

Guest
I needed landshark to point that out to me...

*hangs head in shame*

the (tm) as opposed to the ascii code is Teh Forumites (tm)
speshulty.
 
F

Flimgoblin

Guest
finally got round to reading the two sci-fi ones...

very cool :) more! more! (I'll get round to reading the fantasy .doc one of these millenia)

The style of writing makes me think of Jeff Noon stuff :) but that may just be my imagination ;)
 
B

bongos

Guest
Originally posted by Jiggs
chinese provebs



Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Click to expand...
I like these :)
 
D

Damini

Guest
Originally posted by Flimgoblin
finally got round to reading the two sci-fi ones...

very cool :) more! more! (I'll get round to reading the fantasy .doc one of these millenia)

The style of writing makes me think of Jeff Noon stuff :) but that may just be my imagination ;)
Click to expand...

I've never read any Jeff Noon. Should I?
 
D

Damini

Guest
To tell the truth, I've never read much Sci Fi. I've read lots of John Christopher, and lots of Simon Green, but beyond that I've not read all that much. Dyslexia is such a bitch that I really have to be wowed by something to chase the words across the page from beginning to end.
 
T

Teh Fonz!!1

Guest
We should have a short story competition this week. You can be the judge and mark us on how cool our stories are.

Max of 1000 words.
 
F

Flimgoblin

Guest
Originally posted by Damini


I've never read any Jeff Noon. Should I?
Click to expand...

Tis cool stuff - he's a bit strange but very good.

Pixel juice is a collection of short stories/poems by him...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos...68919/sr=1-4/ref=sr_1_3_4/026-7927316-8256441

If I remember I'll post the poem 'Metaphorazine' as it's class ;)


Nymphomation is good..
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos...68919/sr=1-5/ref=sr_1_3_5/026-7927316-8256441

warning: it makes random references to maths/probability but there's nothing actually in there...

Automated Alice is quite cool too
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos...68919/sr=1-8/ref=sr_1_3_8/026-7927316-8256441

(Disclaimer: these are probably nothing like your sci-fi style and it's just my warped imagination that links them... or alternately there may be similarities... but either way they're a good read :))
 
O

old.Krusha

Guest
Originally posted by Jiggs
chinese provebs



Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Click to expand...

Those brought back some fond memories of Lo Wang (Split Personality!!)
 
F

Flimgoblin

Guest
hrm not sure if it's bad to post this as it's probably copyrighted...

so some mod nuke it if it's bad :)

Think I said it was a poem - it's not it's just a short bit of prose.

Johnny takes Metaphorazine. Every clockwork day. Says it burns his house down, with a haircut made of wings. You could say he eats a problem. You could say he stokes his thrill. Every clingfilm evening, climb inside a little pill. Intoxicate the feelings. Play those skull-piano blues. Johnny takes Metaphorazine.
He's a dog.

Lucy takes Simileum. That's not half as bad. She's only like a moon gone slithering, upside-down in the sky. Like a tidal wave of perfume, like a spillage in the heart. With eyes stuck tight like envelopes, and posted like a teardrop. Like a syringe, of teardrops. Like a dripfeed aphrodisiac, swallowed like a Cadillac , Lucy takes Simileum.
She's like a dog.

Graham takes Litotezol. Brain the size of particles, that cloud inside of parasites, that live inside the paradise of a pair of lice. He's a surge of melted ice cream, when he makes love like a ghost. Sparkles like a graveyard, but never gets the urge, and then sings Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! like a turgid flatfoot dirge. Graham takes Litotezol.
He's a small dog.

Josie takes Hyperbolehyde. Ten thousand every second. See her face go touch the sky, when she climbs that rollercoster high. That mouth! Such bliss! All the planets and the satellites make their home inside her lips. It's a four-minute warning! Atomic tongue! Nitrokisserene! Josie takes Hyperbolehyde.
She's a big dog.

Alanis takes Alliterene. It drags a deeper ditch. And all her dirty dealings display a debonair disdain. Her dynamo is dangerous, ditto her dusky dreams. Dummies devise diverse deluxe debacles down dingy darkened detox driveways. Alanis takes Alliterene.
She's a dead dog, ya dig?

Desmond takes Onomatopiates.
He's a woof woof.

Sylvia takes oxymorox. She's got the teenage menopause. Gets her winter-sugar somersaults from sniffing non-stick glue. She wears the V-necked trousers, in the blind-eye looking-glass. Does the amputated tango, and then finds herself quite lost, in the new old English style! Sylvia takes oxymorox.
She's a cat dog.

But Johnny takes Metaphorazine. Look at those busted street lamp eyes, that midnight clockface of a smile. That corrugated tinflesh roof of a brow. The knife, fork and spoon of his fingers, the sheer umbrella of the man's hairdo! The coldwater bedsit of his brain. He's a fanfare of atoms, I tell you! And you know that last, exquisite mathematical formula rubbed off the blackboard before the long summer holidays begin? Well, that's him. Speeding language through the veins, Johnny takes Metaphorazine.
He's a real dog.
Click to expand...

edit: note - his normal stuff isn't quite so wacky :)
 
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