WTF? Only in Ireland

[DaGaffer]

So, I'm off the train and walking to work. As usual I get the Quays and some fuckwit cyclist decides traffic lights are for other people and runs the red light at O'Connell Bridge; but this time, an unmarked Garda car is on the scene; lights go on, cyclist is pulled over and out gets plod to give the guy a ticket and a mouthful of "ye feckin eejit ye". "The system works" thinks I, and I carry on walking up O'Connell Street towards work with a spring in my step.

Literally 90 seconds later, a marked Garda car shoots through a red light in front of me by the LUAS line and nearly runs me and about three other people over. No lights, no siren, just decides he's going through. FFS...

 

[Nate]

Like "Ya do it fekin like this ya cont, look see tehm conts walkin ower tehr, Ah'll scare teh bajeezus outa tehm watch"

 

[Scouse]

As I've said all along, Cops = Hypocritical Cunts



Anyway. How do you give a cyclist a ticket?

 

[Raven]

You put his wheels against a curb and stamp on them.

 

[Gwadien]

*eagerly waits for Punishments reply*

 

[old.Osy]

Oooh, you lot are irish. Awesome. Incoming hijack.

I'll be in Dublin on the 30th March, staying 3 nights. Me and the gf. We've booked the hotel already, so i'm looking for pointers on what there is to do as a tourist in Dublin.

Any ideas?

 

[DaGaffer]

Oooh, you lot are irish. Awesome. Incoming hijack.

I'll be in Dublin on the 30th March, staying 3 nights. Me and the gf. We've booked the hotel already, so i'm looking for pointers on what there is to do as a tourist in Dublin.

Any ideas?

Drink.

Seriously.

Temple Bar, Guinness Storehouse, Jameson Museum, the list goes on (all worth it by the way). Temple Bar is a tourist trap, but worth it for a pint or two (don't go to Gogartys though, go pretty much anywhere else, I actually like The Temple Bar pub itself). If you want a bit of proper Irish fiddly-didlly music though, go to a pub called the Brazen Head which is further east on the Quays.

Viking museum is OK. "Viking Splash" tour is a good way to do a bus tour of the city, and you get to wear a silly helmet, and ocassionally crash into taxis with a giant WWII vintage DUKW transport (I've seen it happen, more than once).

Kilmainham Gaol is a good tour to give you a feel for Irish history and make you feel bad about being English (didn't work on me, as I keep telling my father-in-law, its all been downhill since we left)

 

[Scouse]

I heard Paddy's partial to kneecappings, bombings and beating people with sticks that have nails in.

Sounds like a hoot!

 

[Nate]

Hehe, another only in Ireland thing. A Museum that is also a pub?

Also, sorry to disappoint you Osy but my awesome text accent doesn't make me Irish

 

[Killswitch]

Go and look at the enormous metal spike someone put in the middle of O'Connell Street (I think that's what it's called) for abso-fucking-lutely no reason whatsoever. Also the rather appalling statue of Molly Malone.

If you get the right guide, the bus tours can be interesting and/or hilarious.

When I lived there I couldn't really afford to do any touristy things and whenever I go back I generally just get pissed-up. There used to be a terrible, terrible rock bar in the basement of a place called Bruxelles, I seem to remember it was just off Grafton Street. Do NOT go there under any circumstances.

And be sure to have at least one meal in an Eddie Rockets diner. The food is awful, but I always liked them for some reason.

EDIT: also when I was living there, I was about 100 yards away when a Dublin Bus drove into the Liffey, which was excellent.

 

[Ormorof]

the ghost tour is hilarious

driver started with "im only a stand in, our previous driver died peacefully in his sleep, unlike his 50 screaming passengers"
hehehehe

 

[Vae]

Go and look at the enormous metal spike someone put in the middle of O'Connell Street (I think that's what it's called) for abso-fucking-lutely no reason whatsoever.

I visited soon after that had been installed and the comments at the time was "Oh great a statue of a needle for a city with a heroin problem!"

One thing I did enjoy, as a visitor on my own, was a literary pub crawl one evening. Basically an excuse to drink in a series of pubs with strangers while hearing a bit of the literary side of Dublin (James Joyce etc). Think I also went to the Art Gallery and a literary museum as well as the obligatory Guiness storehouse. When (not if) you go to the storehouse make sure to look at the section showing all the guiness adverts over the years. I found that one of the most intersting bits along with the bar at teh end with the views over the city.

 

[Cerb]

Sounds exactly like the Garda Gaffer! Cops are bastards the world over though. What I find funniest is when Irish cops are clearly trying to live up to something they have seen on tv. I was once pulled over in Galway and had the male and female Garda play "good cop, bad cop" with me. Was actually quite funny.

Having said that they can be cunts too. There is one road in galway that for all intensive purposes is a motorway. However for some reason that I and almost no one I've ever talked to knows, it has a 30 speed limit. Naturally every cop in Galway spends a few hours there at the end of the month when they need to bring their ticket quota up :/

 

[Cerb]

Oooh, you lot are irish. Awesome. Incoming hijack.

I'll be in Dublin on the 30th March, staying 3 nights. Me and the gf. We've booked the hotel already, so i'm looking for pointers on what there is to do as a tourist in Dublin.

Any ideas?

Are you just going to Dublin?

My advice will be the same I give to everyone who asks about home. Don't just see Dublin, it could be any big European city.

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Bah Gaffer.

I paid those boys up front and you're still alive.

Just can't get the service these days.

 

[DaGaffer]

Are you just going to Dublin?

My advice will be the same I give to everyone who asks about home. Don't just see Dublin, it could be any big European city.

Spoken like a true culchie.

 

[Cerb]

Spoken like a true culchie.

Spoken like a true Jackeen!

 

[DaGaffer]

*gets out my bogger repellant*

 

[Billargh]

 

[Cerb]

Geeebag!

 

[old.Osy]

Just Dublin i'm afraid. For reasons unknown, it seems Ireland shuts down past 11 pm, so I can't travel to Cork (where the gf is) - so she has to come to Dublin, as I land at 11:20 pm.

I checked with Bus eireann and Irishrail, there's no bus or train past 11 pm. Thank god there's a bus from the airport to the city centre

 

[Cerb]

Are you sure there isn't a bus from the Airport? Seems strange. I know you can get one from Dublin to Galway al the way until like 3 am.

 

[DaGaffer]

Just Dublin i'm afraid. For reasons unknown, it seems Ireland shuts down past 11 pm, so I can't travel to Cork (where the gf is) - so she has to come to Dublin, as I land at 11:20 pm.

I checked with Bus eireann and Irishrail, there's no bus or train past 11 pm. Thank god there's a bus from the airport to the city centre

Culchies have to be up to milk the cows in the morning. Or shag their sisters. Its one or the other.

 

[old.Osy]

Are you sure there isn't a bus from the Airport? Seems strange. I know you can get one from Dublin to Galway al the way until like 3 am.

No, the bus and rail people were pretty clear. No way to travel to Cork past 11 pm.

 

[Cerb]

Culchies have to be up to milk the cows in the morning. Or shag their sisters. Its one or the other.

I'm from Galway city I'll have you know!

We shag our cows and milk our sisters!

 

[Punishment]