One of the best jokes ever.

[SFXman]

A boy asks his dad, "What is the difference between potentially and realistically?". The father thinks for a while and says to the boy, "Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars. Then ask you sister if she'd have sex with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars. Then ask your brother if he'd have sex with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars. You should be able to figure it out by then...".
So the boy asks his mom if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars, his mom replies, "of course I would!". The boy then continues on to his sister and asks, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for one million dollars?", to which his sister says, "Of course! He's so good looking!". Then he asks his brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for one million dollars, and his brother says, "Yeah, I mean that is a damn lot of money! Imagine what you can buy with that!".
The next day the boys father asks him, "So, did you figure out the difference between potentially and realistically yet?", and the boy answers...
"Yeah. Potentially we are sitting on three million dollars. Realistically, we are living with two sluts and a queer."

 

[Xeanor]

 

[Cloudd_RTD]

Old. :O

 

[old.Tohtori]

Here's something for those who don't like that, potentially good but realisticly old pattern joke

Tonder went Cyber on IRC:

<HornyHusband> Every1 state the a/s/l?
* Tonder lights up a few candles.
* Tonder puts a PEZ dispenser on the head of Wife-38.
* HornyHusband sits back and watches..
* Tonder puts a PEZ dispenser on the head of HornyHusband and nods.
<Tonder> You ready?
<HornyHusband> Yes
<Tonder> Ok. Whoever manages to hold the dispenser longest ontop of your head, wins candy into it.

 

[Cloudd_RTD]

Tonder is even older. :/

 

[-Nxs-]

a man starts to unload his shopping onto the checkout at the local superstore, as the checkout girl starts to scan through the items the man says "damn, forgot to get some condoms", the checkout girl replies "thats no problem, what size do you need" the man says "im not sure" to which the checkout girl leans over the counter and places her hand down between the mans legs, then announces over the tanoy "packat of large condoms for till #3 please".

A young boy seeing this decides to use the same checkout, as his items are being priced up he sheepfully says "Damn, forgot to get some condoms", the checkout girl replies once again "thats no problem, what size?" the young lad cheakily says "im not sure" so once again the checkout girl leans over the counter and places her hand down between the lads legs, then announces over the tanoy "mop and bucket for till #3 please"

 

[Sharma]

Haha, that rocked, thanks SFX.

 

[lakih]

Lol SFX

 

[Coim-]

Mildly amusing...

 

[SFXman]

Pretty good -Nxs-

This potentially-joke has had people nearly pissing themselves, had some 10 people listen in earlier today. Some who'd never laugh did

 

[-Nxs-]

Whats brown and sticky ?


... a stick


sorry nice miss moderator, I shall never post +1 again

 

[heilel]

A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat. The Hippie looks over and asks the Nun if she would have sex with him. The Nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts on it's way the bus driver says to the hippie,if you want I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you. The hippie of course says that he'd love to know so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,said the bus driver guy, you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you.

Well the Hippie decides to try this out so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. And right on schedule the nun shows up. When she's in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about to go to work on the nun. After the Hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, Ha ha, I'm the hippie!! The nun replied by whipping off her mask and shouting,Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!!

 

[SFXman]

heilel, nice. It's a good joke but I've heard it before. Slightly different form though, I don't remember it being a hippie.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Still, without a doubt, the best joke ever is:

*drumroll*

Right Now.

 

[SFXman]

lol...
Maybe so.
Although I never really had any problems that would require me to use the service.

Well, one "problem" so to speak. Inquired wether my character's name could be changed, which it was very quickly...

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yeah, it ain't that bad. Never needed it myself but hey...gotta make a living.

Here's a joke, Seel style:

A liberal, a paleontologist and The Incredible Hulk swim to Teh Icefloat. First the liberal asks Teh Seel:

"What is the meaning of life?"

Teh Seel takes out a shotgun and shoots the liberal.

Then the paleontologist gets on Teh Icefloat and asks Teh Seel:

"Why did you shoot the liberal?"

Teh Seel reloads the shotgun and sayes:

"Because he asked me a question about life."

The paleontologist looks at a fossiel for a while and states:

"Oh..you mean, what is the meaning of life?"

To which Teh Seel replies:

"CLICK-BOOOM!"

Or in other words, Teh Seel shoots the paleontologist. The Incredible Hulk watches this all go on right infron of his eyes, looks at Teh Seel and sayes:

"Hulk get it."

And swims off into the distance.

EDIT: Slight fix on hulk speak.

 

[Danya]

Heh funny shit SFX.

 

[SilverHood]

Originally posted by -Nxs-
Whats brown and sticky ?


... a stick


sorry nice miss moderator, I shall never post +1 again

whats brown, steamy and comes out of cowes?









































The Isle of Wight ferry

 

[Cloudd_RTD]

So... Old... Can't go on..